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Okay, I need your responses and help with this one
H. FINALLY has a doc. apt. Wednesday for his annual physical. Now I have already sent the doc some of my concerns but my problem is that H can, at times, be just normal, especially for short periods or when passing the time of day with neighbors.
For years, though, in the doc's office he hasn't understood things and I have explained it or told him I understand what the Doc is saying, but that can happen to any of us which is why it is always good to have another person with you.
Yesterday I wanted to rent Jurassic Park on Fandango, we have an account. H insisted on putting in the information, which he had trouble with as it took him 4 tries to get it right before we even got to the password. The password has a $ in it and H kept putting in a ? instead of the $ sign. When I pointed this out he claimed that the $ sign WAS the ? symbol and after so many tries he got locked out. He got very angry when I suggested that he let me put in the code.
Well, needless to say, we didn't get to watch that movie as the atmosphere, him getting grouchy, went down the tubes.
This morning I told him that there was, on the news, an explosion at a steel plant in PA. His response was: "boy, they really are going after those clinics". I had no idea what he was talking about and I can guarantee he didn't either even though he tried to tell me that he thought I said clinic instead of steel mill which isn't even close.
Friday he was telling me Trump had put high tariffs on EGYPT and India because they were buying Russian oil! We all know that it is China and India not EGYPT. When I said he must mean China, he got snarky and claims that he said China not EGYPT. Folks, I have my wits about me, and my hearing and I know what he said because he said it twice. And before that it was that Iran was attacking Ukraine, mixing up Iran with Russia.
HOW do I explain that kind of stuff to the doctor? At first, months back I thought this was a slip of the tongue etc., but it is far too common to be that know IMHO.
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I am enjoying and getting support from reading all your comments and suggestions. I know I have a long way to go, but it is tough when it is just me.
One thing I see is that we, as a collective, group are all in this together and we seem to get some strength from posting.
Let's keep it up.
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9 ReactionsWhen we go to my husband's doctor I try to sit back and not say much until the doctor asks a question my husband ("D") can't answer well. I have to say, the dr is aware and supportive and notices things. Of course, the validity of him having dementia is supported by tests so I hope your husband has had some. And I have even used my phone to do a little video to show the dr. That episode of him trying to sign in to Fandango might have been good. I 've also taken in a little journal so I have notes and dates. D was anxious at times and now takes Zolof and I think it helps.
You could ask for a referral to a neuropsychologist for testing, too. I don't think you have to explain much detail. If his dr. knows anything about dementia he ought to trust you and be supportive.
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11 ReactionsThank you all for the reactions about the MGB. I started reading these comments because my mom had Lewey Body dementia and recently passed away. I never knew what to say to her when she would say things that were "wrong." I tried to correct her and she made me mad because she didn't change the way she thought. My brother told me to stop correcting her, he said it upset her. After reading all these posts I wish I would have "got it" and just enjoyed my time with her. I miss her now that she is gone and wish I would have been more understanding of her situation. I wish I would have read these comments BEFORE. I don't think children should be caretakers, they should be able to be in the role of children. Too much stress and that caused me to yell at my mom. Some of my guilt has eased since reading these posts. My mom was 87.
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8 Reactionskartwk It took me quite a long time to realize to just agree with what hubby was saying and not argue or try to correct him because in a few minutes he would forget what was said anyhow. My hubby now has severe aphasia so I now do a lot of nodding if I can't figure out what he's talking about.. i can catch a couple words or phrases every now and again but it's becoming more common to not understand and that has to be very frustrating to him as well. I've learned that I have to live in HIS world (i've given up alot) to keep him safe, happy, comfortable, etc, and it makes my day much more enjoyable.... for both of us.
I feel your frustrations and I know that you'll find your way with all of this.
Strength, Love, Peace and Hugs to you!!!
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10 ReactionsNow what is he going to do? He finished all the episodes of Heartland yesterday and is back to moaning, groaning and not making sense at times.
I just was told it is my fault he broke a glass in the kitchen because - ready - I had washed it and it was on the dish drainer drying. Yep, my fault. The actual situation was that he was being absent minded (I guess that is a good way to put it) and wasn't paying attention as is part of his thing. Since the situation started with him it seems, at times, that when he goes to do something he isn't aware of other things that are around, like the glass.
The other new thing is that he may start a sentence, never finishes it and then asks me why I am not answering or talking to him, or if I finish the sentence he didn't is piqued at me doing that
It is a no-win situation. I just hope that at his next Doc. apt. he does that - maybe that will be a breakthrough.
I just bit my lip and retreated here rather than try with him.
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7 Reactions@kartwk
Forget the all rollator, he won't use it. I guess he feels much better moaning and groaning with each step.
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1 Reaction@nelms
Thank you for your input. Makes sense and will implement.
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1 ReactionKartwk@kartwk Forget correcting him. It won’t make any difference, and just ends upsetting both of you. I am learning that incorrect answers or comments from him, and me trying to correct, makes no difference, on the worst days.