Connect
Okay, I need your responses and help with this one
H. FINALLY has a doc. apt. Wednesday for his annual physical. Now I have already sent the doc some of my concerns but my problem is that H can, at times, be just normal, especially for short periods or when passing the time of day with neighbors.
For years, though, in the doc's office he hasn't understood things and I have explained it or told him I understand what the Doc is saying, but that can happen to any of us which is why it is always good to have another person with you.
Yesterday I wanted to rent Jurassic Park on Fandango, we have an account. H insisted on putting in the information, which he had trouble with as it took him 4 tries to get it right before we even got to the password. The password has a $ in it and H kept putting in a ? instead of the $ sign. When I pointed this out he claimed that the $ sign WAS the ? symbol and after so many tries he got locked out. He got very angry when I suggested that he let me put in the code.
Well, needless to say, we didn't get to watch that movie as the atmosphere, him getting grouchy, went down the tubes.
This morning I told him that there was, on the news, an explosion at a steel plant in PA. His response was: "boy, they really are going after those clinics". I had no idea what he was talking about and I can guarantee he didn't either even though he tried to tell me that he thought I said clinic instead of steel mill which isn't even close.
Friday he was telling me Trump had put high tariffs on EGYPT and India because they were buying Russian oil! We all know that it is China and India not EGYPT. When I said he must mean China, he got snarky and claims that he said China not EGYPT. Folks, I have my wits about me, and my hearing and I know what he said because he said it twice. And before that it was that Iran was attacking Ukraine, mixing up Iran with Russia.
HOW do I explain that kind of stuff to the doctor? At first, months back I thought this was a slip of the tongue etc., but it is far too common to be that know IMHO.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
Connect
I agree and am learning about the not correcting him part, but it sure is hard to understand just what he is talking about at times.
Also include the times he THINKS he said something to me and didn't. I don't do mind reading but may have to learn lol.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
7 ReactionsYour husband has dementia. My wife has dementia. Caregivers learn to organize and live their lives the best they can realizing it will probably not improve. It takes time to accept and then you plan and find goals that will fulfill your soul. This will sound funny, but I would like to take a week off, visit our old exchange student from England, rent a 70's MGB, and drive up to Scotland, then fly back. It is my solace, my day dream. We just got a new puppy and it engages my wife. I hope that might help you.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
9 ReactionsIm going through this with my mother. Ive learned to not correct, just listen and try to view it that they can't help it. Its just what happens and the way you respond makes the biggest difference. There's no trying to resolve an issue or fight. Letting things go and being positive toward them. Its hard but I've found it easier to manage the relationship this way. Give yourself room, space to rest and care for yourself. Im still not sure about the treatment process or any of that since she refuses help. Hope you are doing ok.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
9 Reactionselliotw - your solace doesn't sound strange at all. It get you through what you have to deal with.
When I post here, I try to add use humor as it helps me but there are days, I just want to hole up somewhere and cry and never stop.
You probably know exactly what I mean.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
7 ReactionsWhat a cute pup!
I had a 1966 MGB (very tiny 2 seater sportster) when I was about 20, over 40 years ago. After I first got it I pulled into a parking space and parked. When I tried to back out to leave I couldn't get it in reverse no matter what I did. Four young guys were walking by and each one of them picked up a
corner of the MGB and lifted me and the car right out of the parking space! I later learned I had to press down on the gearshift to get it in reverse. I will never forget that day. I loved that car and had many great adventures with it. Thanks for reminding me of the fun I had. I am undergoing chemo right now and it cheered me up!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
8 ReactionsMy husband watches westerns all day. Easy plots and the good guys always win (old westerns, wagon train, lawman, Wells Fargo) and enjoy the peace and not having to explain who our relatives are. Just need to get the headphones to work so I can have quiet too. But he is still personable and likes to get out .
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
6 ReactionsUnfortunately this is part of the illness. Disputes or corrections cause terrible behavior sometimes. We can be the enemy or the person they don't know at times. Save your breath. It is not worth you feeling badly. It is the frustrating part that I have trouble with. I just stop talking. If he gets ugly, I usually leave the room. He has forgotten actually what he said or that he actually was talking about. Write in a diary or find something to keep him busy. You will always be wrong. Make sure you do something that gives you joy. Hardest job you will ever have and did not ask for.
Keep your loving attitude and let him know you love him. He may not remember..but you will be able to live with yourself. I have been in conflicts and nice conversations. Hugs and prayers
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
11 ReactionsGreat advice!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsAdorable puppy! Thankful for our two. They are a tremendous joy to my husband.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsI get that. As I said my H has become hooked on Heartland, all day almost, every day. It is a nice, cute show but it is a simple show. So when H starts laughing belly laughs, I have to wonder.
You know, he would never have watched a show like this a few years back.
As for headphones, great idea but I can tell you that won't fly with H, all he would do is turn the TV louder. At least now, it is at a moderate level.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions