1. < Just Want to Talk
Profile picture for slarson14

He wants a divorce; we are both turning 70

Posted by slarson14 @slarson14, Jul 10, 2025

Am so afraid I am going to end up homeless.

We married at 59 and now he wants out.

"We no longer have anything in common" was announced when I said he would "have to pay for a much wanted (by him) trip to Europe because I am done taking money out of my IRA".

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Profile picture for slarson14
slarson14 | @slarson14 | Jul 13, 2025
In reply to @jennifer0726 "@slarson14 I am sorry you are going through all of this! It is hard aging as..." + (show)
Profile picture for jennifer0726 @jennifer0726

@slarson14 I am sorry you are going through all of this! It is hard aging as a single person financially. I understand. I have thought about much of the same, but from a slightly different perspective. I am almost 64, long time divorced and working full time, but don’t know if I will ever be able to afford to retire. I have been afraid to get into a long term relationship or married because of the very situation you find yourself in now. Even if one was able to have a roommate or roommates (golden girls style) what if they left for some reason and one couldn’t afford the household expenses. Inflation has been so hard on everyone in the last 4+ years. Health is also a factor. It sounds like you, too, are a survivor and have inner strength drawing on your faith. Just replying to you has made me realize that there is always a way. In my job I speak with many people in financial difficulties, and cannot imagine how some survive on so little. It can be done. I will pray you find work and peace in your situation. Do you have family near? Maybe like you said, getting involved in a church could lead to more connections for several aspects of your life, including employment. It is my experience that when we are at our weakest He is strong for us when we call out to Him. Hugs and prayers!

Jump to this post

My sisters are both 12 hours away by car. My older sister does come visit as she can afford to - in the winter. My younger sister is till working and has a husband with Parkinson - but he is still working part time, bless him.

I will never marry again, unless the man is a millionaire (ha ha) and doesn't need my income to live. I am just going to stick with my plan, to build my sanctuary home on 4 acres and pray God will find a path to make it happen...it's me and Him hereon...

REPLY
Profile picture for dalexis00
dalexis00 | @dalexis00 | Jul 14, 2025
In reply to @slarson14 "Pretty much divided it 50/50. We own the home we both live in now. I took..." + (show)
Profile picture for slarson14 @slarson14

Pretty much divided it 50/50. We own the home we both live in now. I took the land because I plan to stay here; he will be selling the house. I have designed a VERY small home to be built on the land.

Cannot sell the land because I would lose so much money in the sale; we purchased the home in the real estate market bubble of 2021. Part of the reason I bought the land was I was going to do Christian counseling and recovery for abused women. I had designed a larger house so I'd have more space for group counseling, etc; but that went out the window as I simply cannot afford the larger design now that he has decided he is leaving. 3-4 years have been put into this goal...but then he tells me he has "other goals" now and doesn't like my goal any longer.

Wish I could put a modular home on the land, but it has a private covenant that requires a masonry home. Thank heavens it doesn't have a minimum size requirement because the new design is only 875 sf. Have been searching and searching for a contractor to build for less than $300. a square foot...

The thought just occurred to me, perhaps I should go church to church in town, asking pastors if they have any trustworthy contractor types who want to build it for $200-250 a sf because that is my high end budget.

Good thing is, spouse can't sell this house before I get that house built. Unless he gets a lawyer and gets impatient waiting for me to get this house built.

Neither of us wants a lawyer. Lawyers charge $400.00 and hour. I simply do not have money to get a lawyer, neither does he want to get a lawyer.

Jump to this post

Any more law questions check out avvo.com

Its great free advice from lawyers.

REPLY
1 reply
Profile picture for slarson14
slarson14 | @slarson14 | Jul 14, 2025
In reply to @dalexis00 "Any more law questions check out avvo.com Its great free advice from lawyers." + (show)
Profile picture for dalexis00 @dalexis00

Any more law questions check out avvo.com

Its great free advice from lawyers.

Jump to this post

Thanks will check it out.

REPLY
Profile picture for redtop10
redtop10 | @redtop10 | Jul 20, 2025

Good for you. Take care of yourself and your money. Nobody else will do it for you. I am proud of you.

REPLY
Profile picture for slarson14
slarson14 | @slarson14 | Jul 20, 2025

Thank you for your wonderful support!

It is amazing; since I began "leaving him in the dust", living for myself about 60 days ago, even while he and I are in the same house and bed, my life feels like a new one.

I am sleeping so much better and feel the weight of the world is falling off my shoulders. I just pretty much be polite if he asks me any questions. Do what I would do for any platonic roommate. Make him coffee if I am having one, make him a snack if I am having one, do some of his laundry if I am doing some of his: then when they are dry I bring them to him as he sits on the couch watching his baseball team play...

I am not going to stop being a good person and do anything mean and hateful; but what I am going to do is appreciate my own kindness to myself.

REPLY
Profile picture for slarson14
slarson14 | @slarson14 | Jul 20, 2025
In reply to @shmerdloff "Carlyle" + (show)
Profile picture for shmerdloff @shmerdloff

Carlyle

Jump to this post

This is perfect. It is true.

The more you have gone through in life, the more able you are to get to your purpose in life.

"If you are going through hell, keep on going..."

REPLY
Profile picture for fritzhornung
fritzhornung | @fritzhornung | Jul 20, 2025

Drop that guy, he is after your money.

REPLY
Profile picture for celia16
celia16 | @celia16 | Jul 20, 2025
In reply to @slarson14 "Pretty much divided it 50/50. We own the home we both live in now. I took..." + (show)
Profile picture for slarson14 @slarson14

Pretty much divided it 50/50. We own the home we both live in now. I took the land because I plan to stay here; he will be selling the house. I have designed a VERY small home to be built on the land.

Cannot sell the land because I would lose so much money in the sale; we purchased the home in the real estate market bubble of 2021. Part of the reason I bought the land was I was going to do Christian counseling and recovery for abused women. I had designed a larger house so I'd have more space for group counseling, etc; but that went out the window as I simply cannot afford the larger design now that he has decided he is leaving. 3-4 years have been put into this goal...but then he tells me he has "other goals" now and doesn't like my goal any longer.

Wish I could put a modular home on the land, but it has a private covenant that requires a masonry home. Thank heavens it doesn't have a minimum size requirement because the new design is only 875 sf. Have been searching and searching for a contractor to build for less than $300. a square foot...

The thought just occurred to me, perhaps I should go church to church in town, asking pastors if they have any trustworthy contractor types who want to build it for $200-250 a sf because that is my high end budget.

Good thing is, spouse can't sell this house before I get that house built. Unless he gets a lawyer and gets impatient waiting for me to get this house built.

Neither of us wants a lawyer. Lawyers charge $400.00 and hour. I simply do not have money to get a lawyer, neither does he want to get a lawyer.

Jump to this post

Please see an attorney at least for a consult. You could lose valuable rights you may have by doing something very simple. Hindsight is 20/20. With real property there could be technical requirements that make a huge difference.

REPLY
Profile picture for ebtexas55
ebtexas55 | @ebtexas55 | Jul 20, 2025
In reply to @slarson14 "I am feeling mentally tired and alone. God is my only refuge. Very tired of this..." + (show)
Profile picture for slarson14 @slarson14

I am feeling mentally tired and alone. God is my only refuge.

Very tired of this life that has been such an ongoing struggle.

Jump to this post

Yes, God IS your refuge And strength.
Here are some thoughts:
Become a Sitter or companion for someone in need: a hospice patient, an elderly parent whos living with their childs family… they need a break.
I hired someone to sit with my mom in a nursing home. A sitter doesnt have to be licensed. My sitter sat with my mom, took her outside to get fresh air and spend time out of the building. She also took her to an activity.
You could sit with a child whos going thru chemo and whos folks need to get shopping done, errand run.

You could consider caring for a child or two for afterschool care.
There are a lot of needs out there, PRAY about this and let God lead you.
Put yourself into His service and He will direct you.

You can do this..
if Gods directing you, Hes got it all ready.
Blessings to you, Slarson.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.