He wants a divorce; we are both turning 70

So sorry you’re going through this situation.
Stay focused and look at your options. Maybe counseling would help?
You mentioned that you’ve been taking money from your IRA. If he’s using you for money maybe he should be worried about being homeless?
Anyway, I wish I could wave a wand for you but I can’t. Feel free to message me if you need.
MOJO

Hi Slarson,
I'm so sorry to hear this. That's very sad. Have you tried to reconcile things with him or won't he listen? The counseling that was mentioned by Jody may be a good idea. Also have you told your husband how much you love him? Sometimes we need to say that more often than we do.

I understand how you feel you might end up homeless. My husband died exactly a year ago and with rising prices I, too have worried about that now I'm alone. I save every cent I can. You might want to hang onto your IRA.

One thing that helped me when my husband died and before, was prayer. I just told God all my concerns and asked for his help and I got it. Just talk to God like he's your best friend and he is!
God created us and he wants us to be happy. He will help you get through this time. I will say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

PML
Yes, there’s power in prayer for sure! 🙏
And wishing you the best as well.
I’m a cancer survivor and I worry about my wife being left alone if I should die.
I’m almost 63 and my wife is almost 59, I’m hoping we have several years left. We are Christians so not worried about our eternity but can’t help but worry about leaving her behind. 🤷‍♂️
Jody

I feel bad for you ,But you don't want to be supporting him ,You will be fine if he goes,Take care of yourself,when your up to it there are alot of seniors who just want a companion to do things with,It's up to you of what you want,Good luck,and don't let him take the house,it's yours too

@slarson14 I think many of us women are fearful of ending of homeless when we do not have a partner or a second income. I’ve talked with my friends about this and they hold this fear too.

I went through a divorce when I was 49 years old. I’d been married for 16 years and we did not have children and no major debts. So, the negotiation came down to our assets and especially our respective retirement investments. I was working at the time and I had a good income but still worried that I would end up on the street. I realized later that whenever I felt particularly anxious I’d look up my retirement accounts and to try and reassure myself that I would be OK.

I continued to save throughout my working career. At this point my financial advisor tells me that I have plenty of money to last me but I still worry sometimes.

Do you have a financial advisor? This is the person who can help you review your assets and your retirement accounts to help you figure out your financial future.

Do you work with a mental health therapist? I found that the process of working with a mental health therapist has helped me manage my emotions over the years.

Is your husband interested in marriage counseling? If no, then it’s time to take care of you. If your finances are co-mingled I hope you will protect yourself financially.

How are you feeling this morning?

I am feeling mentally tired and alone. God is my only refuge.

Very tired of this life that has been such an ongoing struggle.

I am sorry for you and the pain you’ve been going through, I feel that he is very selfish and totally out for himself, he has stated that a divorce is the answer not talking about it or trying therapy to save your relationship. I totally agree with Helen and the suggestions she has made, it’s now time for you to take charge of your life with or without him but at all costs, please protect your assets. Always remember that relationships go both ways and you deserve better, good luck with your journey to happiness.

I’m so sorry. But please take care of yourself, don’t give up on life, and use a good divorce attorney. As an option, if your finances require it, are you in a field where you could find another job? I found one of the best jobs I ever had at age 66, and after being part-time employed for 10 years. Despite what you hear, the unexpected sometimes happens. And be prepared for some good luck after all the bad.

Thank you. Have been seeking employment for years. However, I had only one job in 12 years.
I never planned on retiring at all. Work was one of my happy places in life.

I have even tried volunteer work. Volunteer work is always so menial and no physicality to it, usually. I want to be up and going, not parked at some desk or stuffing envelops.

I do not have a bad history of work, either. Because I was on disability for 10 years, when I got better, no one wants to hire me at my age.

I watch and visit places I apply to - I see they hire kids and adults much younger than I, all the time...see them training them; but not me.

Age discrimination exists. Have applied to everything imaginable, don't mind minimum wage, even. I love working as it keeps me busy and feeling productive, more secure.

No one seems to think someone at 70 can move and lift and DO things.

Even at the State employment office I went to. THEY suggested I "try a community center for seniors". I said: "What type of job?" They said: "Oh, it isn't a job, you can go there and play board games, socialize with other's your age...you know....".

I was speechless.

Hi Jody,
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that you have cancer. My husband died of lung cancer 1 year ago this month. We worried about me being left behind also but what we did was just put it all in God's hands and enjoyed our life together. Only God knows who will die and when. My husband survived 14 years with lung cancer and I'm so glad we had that time together. As for me, I'm doing fine even though I have very few friends and no family since I'm 79 and most everyone has died. I just pray and God is there for me. This website has been wonderful for me also. It's good that you and your wife are Christians. You will both get through this with God's help. I wish you the best.
PML