Connect
Early Alzheimer’s diagnosis and hypersexuality
My sister (65) has an early stage Alzheimer’s diagnosis. We have her in independent living with an aide that gives her morning meds before and after breakfast, gets her going for the day and gives meds, plugs in her electronics in evening. Today my sister tells me she has a crush on someone in her residence. An employee in the kitchen. It started as him giving her the look, then he told her she was beautiful and the third time he knelt done on the floor by her table add said he would bring her food out to her shortly. She enjoys his flirting and i know #he wants to have sex with him. She told me not to worry, she wasn’t going to screw the help. She is bored, lonely and childlike. I feel this is highly inappropriate and unethical and am going to speak with the manager Monday. My husband said if he did that behavior at his work he would be fired or worse. Has anyone dealt with this? My sister will tell me what I want to hear, my cautions to her are ignored or forgotten. I feel this is a dangerous situation.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
Connect
My sweet hubby went through a period where all he thought about was sex and would ask for it in inappropriate places and definitely at the wrong time. I began to look at the meds that had been added, and seroquel was the culprit. The doctor added it to help with hallucinations and aggressive issues. It took about 4 weeks of daily doses to kick in....but when it kicked in, it was bizarre. We stopped this medication and within a few days his aggressive sexual behavior was gone.
I do agree with talking with the employee first. They are taught to make connections with residents and try to help them feel comfortable in residential situations. Facilities have a hard time keeping employees - especially good ones. However, I would recommend watching the situation closely as these types of encounters can lead to other situations - especially when your sister reaches the point where she cannot communicate. It is great that you are aware and want to stay on top of this area of great concern for your sister. Many in facilities do not have someone to watch for problems or that will speak up for them. Your sister is very blessed to have you as her advocate.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsI can relate. My wife & I took care of my mother for over 7 years & I made sure she (wife) had her opportunity to live her life as I simply approached my mothers care as a responsibility in that she always put us (her children.others) first. I realize though that is not always the case and that not all those afflicted with Alzheimer's react the same way. She is now gone and I've had to relearn to interact with many I did in the past. Then there are some I choose not to as I never heard from them while my mom was afflicted. Sadly that included many who received my mom's caring and love before she had Alzheimer's. But you adjust and go on.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsMy sister in law ,at the funeral of her husband, (she was 92) was telling everyone to come over to her apartment after the funeral to meet her new boyfriend. They were in a retirement home together and had all three been friends. She seemed normal in every other way and she didn't think her behaviour was odd. I don't know if the 'friend' knew he was now her boyfriend..
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsUpdate: I spoke with manager. Took a light approach. Explained my sister was bored, lonely and very susceptible to misinterpreting his advances. Please pull back as I want no hurt feelings as result of mixed messages. Behavior has stopped.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions