Post-Intensive Care Syndrome (PICS) - Let's talk

When I saw my cardiologist after I went back for my 2 week check up I mentioned the problematic fellow to him and his response was that nurses are not to make the decisions about care, doctors are the decision makers.
Also, the second night I was in ICU the assigned nurse spent most of her time with a more interesting patient and each time the alarm sounded off and I rang to get her to come as the particular machine even registered that I had no heart beat (alarming to say the least, I began to wonder if I had died and no one told me) She would eventually come, but after the 4th time I called for her the ID10T put my call button up on a shelf above my head and no way could I reach it AND she turned off the monitor instead of calling someone from the department that could have brought another of those monitors to replace the defective one.

When I checked out (the 8th day of my entire stay) the head floor nurse came to check if my stay had been good, I let her know about the assigned nurse from the second night. Needless to say she got this absolutely pissed look on her face and attempted to reassure me that would NEVER happen to another patient. I'm not sure but, due to the reputation this hospital has, I'd bet that the assigned nurse on the 2nd night was on the unemployment lines the next week.

martha7979,

I am truly sorry to hear your husband is having these issues even now. I think you are making the right choice, but ask if there are any herbs you can add to his food that might help his digestive system. Those do take a long time to show results, but, after my visit to a Naturopath and his telling me about some things to add to my life for my heart problems I certainly improved, but it did take quite a while. I still do wish my cardiologist had suggested I add at least CoQ10. I take 4 supplement specifically for my heart and this may be the direction needed to help your husband.

I would like to add onto @rosemarya 's comment from above and give a link that talks a little more in-depth about ICU diaries. I have found in my practice that ICU diaries are not only incredibly helpful for patients recovering, but also have a very therapeutic benefit for those writing. More info here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/pics/newsfeed/around-one-third-icu-survivors-get-ptsd-but-diaries-offer-hope-for-recovery/

@amandacgrow I am attaching the following link that discusses the emotional aftermath of critical illness in a bit more detail. First and very importantly - you are not alone. I have heard many people who have experienced critical illness echo exactly what you are sharing. When you look so well on the outside, people will automatically assume that you are completely recovered. And then the pressure builds on you to play that part, right? Which can very easily feed right back in to more mental anguish.

Often times physical recovery happens much more quickly because we can SEE that you are sick, hurt, weak, etc. so we aggressively address that. But we can't SEE that same exact suffering that you experience emotionally and mentally so the treatment and interventions often lag behind. I am going to be working on tagging others on this forum that can help share their insights, as well as provide you with other links/discussions/sites that might be of some help.

@amandacgrow Hello, Amanda. I am Muriel. Annie Johnson reconnected me with the opportunity to encourage one another by posting here. In March 2016, I had a routine surgery that had an the unexpected outcome of severe septic shock. I almost died, had emergency surgery, was in a coma in ICU, and was on a respirator. My kidneys did not function, so I was on dialysis. Other organs were negatively effected. I state this only to communicate that my physical suffering resulted in emotional upset that was difficult for me. When I read your account, I decided to respond with insights that are from my experience that I call "The Event".

I am particularly impressed by your awareness of overwhelming grief. You 'hit the nail on the head' when you identified this as a part of emotional recovery after almost losing your life. I grieved at great length and wondered why it was grief that I felt. What had I lost? I was alive! Over time, I realized that I had lost life as it had previously been. I had to suddenly retire from employment; my mind made it difficult to focus, difficult to do math, difficult to access words, etc; and my heart developed a problem. But most of all, I experienced the deep grief of recognizing that I do not have the control on life and death. Fear that I would die sooner than I would have prior to "The Event", was my anguish.

Not only was my body broken, but also my inner being suffered. I found that my need for inner healing required more time than the body. This became more the case because in April 2017, I again had routine surgery and again slipped into septic shock, had emergency surgery, was in ICU, and was on a respirator. I call this "The Incident". After it, I felt not only grief but also fiery anger. I needed help. There are three or four approaches (steps) I eventually was able to take assist my inner recovery. Let me know if you would like me to share them. I do not want to overwhelm you in this initial contact with you.

Amanda, inner healing is possible. Stability in mind and Joy in heart have returned for me.
Annie, others and I will listen to you, Amanda. You are not alone to handle recovery.
Take care,
Muriel

Murial, my sincere thanks for your reply. My ICU stay was also related to a routine medical procedure....having a baby. Just after I was moved to the recovery room, my blood pressure plummeted and I was rushed to the shock trauma ICU where I had a massive blood transfusion of over 75 units of blood. I was in a coma on a ventilator for a week and then I woke up to a whole new reality. At first this new reality was not so bad...I think because I had this incredible outpouring of support...my family actively shared my story on social media and people all over the world prayed for me. My family and I were showered with support, gifts, and even money to cover our medical expenses. I guess I saw the silver lining before I saw the clouds.

I am coming up on the one year mark and I expected it would be a wonderful celebration of life...but I am surprised that I am actually a mental and emotional mess. I really identified with what you said...."I had lost life as it had previously been" and I guess I must grieve that as I would have to grieve the loss of someone close to me.

I would be so grateful for any insight you have about healing your inner life...I really want to heal!

@andreab Thank you so very much for your kindness and support. I so appreciate the acknowledgement of pressure building to play the part of the strong survivor who bounced back and has a new appreciation for life...it does indeed complicate recovery, even if it is all just imagined pressure I am putting on myself. Thank you for the article and just letting me know that I am not alone.

@amandacgrow Amanda, I will respond again tomorrow morning. Please know that I am thinking of you and am hopeful that over time you will again know joy. By the way, when you respond to me, start with: @muriel66 (note the spelling). Then write your thoughts. That way I will be notified that you posted on this website.
A Lebanese prophet (Kahlil Gibran) once wrote, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. ...When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Amanda, in time joy will return.
I will post again soon.
Muriel

@rosemarya
Are you aware of any support groups in Australia for PICS?

@martha7979 where in Australia are you?