Managing Lifelong Mental Health as a Senior

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ..... not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don't blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can't totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

Great topic to start, Georgette.
You wrote:
"discussing managing mental health issues as a senior, after a lifelong challenge with this disease. This issue can be further complicated as we age because many people do have memory loss and other symptoms of aging, and it is very difficult to tell the difference between life-long anxiety or depression and other mental health issues.......and age-related symptoms or conditions. Am i feeling depressed because i cannot do the things i used to do, or am i depressed because i do not have chronic depression under control?"

I'm tagging @overwhelmed @johnjames @jimhd @amberpep and @lesbatts on this discussion as I believe they will value insights or reflections to offer.

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ..... not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don't blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can't totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ..... not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don't blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can't totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

Here i am again. As i was going to say in my silly post about grammar....but didnt...today is the 7th month of my sons death. He hanged himself before i got a chance to fly to chicago to save him. I did call the mobile crisis team there...they sent five cops but they didnt take him and hospitalize him. Thats because he did not actually have the rope around his neck. I am not joking. When i worked in a crisis center ...i found out that the law just will not allow cops and mental health pros to take someone from their home unless they are in IMMEDIATE IN THE MOMENT RIGHT THEN AND THERE READY TO KILL THEMSELVES...OR KILL SOMEONE ELSE....RIGHT WHEN THE COPS BANG ON THEIR DOOR!!!!.
So my son called me in colorado and screamed at me for sending them. And the next day he made good on his plan. He had been researching for a year...the most effective and painless way to kill himself...and he sent me dozens and dozens of texts during that entire time....which i have printed out and have saved.....detailing his findings. But ....in this case....words didnt matter. In this case...the cops needed more....and they certainly got it...as they say..."a picture is worth a thousand words." unfortunately they didnt get to see "the picture". Only the firemen did...when they found him three days later when they broke his door down. And only then...they found him because neighbors complained. Sorry...TRIGGER ALERT!!! I will stop right there. I am hoping very sincerely that my story did not trigger anyone.
Anyway my point is that i did get to chicago and did get to his apartment but, unbeknownst to me and his brother, the landlord had not arranged for the "crime scene" to be cleaned. It was originally a possible murder... As there were reasons to consider this...so they did the whole yellow crime scene tape. I have no idea who cleans apartments after such dastardly deeds...and i guess this poor landlord didnt know either. Anyway i will spare you all and not tell you what i saw and experienced when i opened the door. There are enough cop shows on TV...and i am here to tell you that we need to be eternally grateful for the law and medical and other professionals who work under such extreme circumstances...they are special special people who allow us...the ordinary joe and jane...to not have to deal with such horrific things.
Well...i again have been really wordy here...so i think i will sign off for the moment and watch the latest situation comedy on TV...THE LATEST NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. Sending hugs to all...love g.

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ..... not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don't blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can't totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

It's really neat that so many of us are involved in research studies. It's supposed to help people coming along after us. Maybe we're the kind of people that agree to be in research. The hardest thing that I ever experienced is being told my son had genetic disorder. That happened at Mayo Clinic Rochester after weeks of testing. It meant my son would never grow up. Then we got all the paperwork to consent to including our son in research cohort for that particular genetic syndrome. But I do remember how it felt driving home with that information - care and support needed for child's entire life and he was only three years old. Now it's 20+ years later and we did survive. But it was hard, very hard. No family vacations. Looking for son constantly because he wandered away. Social services. Special education. Parental fees. Non stop. But we did survive and younger sibling survived, too. She's college student now. Now I'm middle aged with own chronic conditions. That's why I am doing healthy living program with nutrition, exercise, and resilience. I agreed to be included in research cohort for this intervention. I do know I am high maintenance for them. But so far they are sticking with me and all my so-called "complex psychosocial history." So my experience is keep putting one foot in front of other foot and LIVE. There is a time to die. But there is a time to live, too. Death comes fast enough. I think we should live while we still can.

It's really neat that so many of us are involved in research studies. It's supposed to help people coming along after us. Maybe we're the kind of people that agree to be in research. The hardest thing that I ever experienced is being told my son had genetic disorder. That happened at Mayo Clinic Rochester after weeks of testing. It meant my son would never grow up. Then we got all the paperwork to consent to including our son in research cohort for that particular genetic syndrome. But I do remember how it felt driving home with that information - care and support needed for child's entire life and he was only three years old. Now it's 20+ years later and we did survive. But it was hard, very hard. No family vacations. Looking for son constantly because he wandered away. Social services. Special education. Parental fees. Non stop. But we did survive and younger sibling survived, too. She's college student now. Now I'm middle aged with own chronic conditions. That's why I am doing healthy living program with nutrition, exercise, and resilience. I agreed to be included in research cohort for this intervention. I do know I am high maintenance for them. But so far they are sticking with me and all my so-called "complex psychosocial history." So my experience is keep putting one foot in front of other foot and LIVE. There is a time to die. But there is a time to live, too. Death comes fast enough. I think we should live while we still can.

It's really neat that so many of us are involved in research studies. It's supposed to help people coming along after us. Maybe we're the kind of people that agree to be in research. The hardest thing that I ever experienced is being told my son had genetic disorder. That happened at Mayo Clinic Rochester after weeks of testing. It meant my son would never grow up. Then we got all the paperwork to consent to including our son in research cohort for that particular genetic syndrome. But I do remember how it felt driving home with that information - care and support needed for child's entire life and he was only three years old. Now it's 20+ years later and we did survive. But it was hard, very hard. No family vacations. Looking for son constantly because he wandered away. Social services. Special education. Parental fees. Non stop. But we did survive and younger sibling survived, too. She's college student now. Now I'm middle aged with own chronic conditions. That's why I am doing healthy living program with nutrition, exercise, and resilience. I agreed to be included in research cohort for this intervention. I do know I am high maintenance for them. But so far they are sticking with me and all my so-called "complex psychosocial history." So my experience is keep putting one foot in front of other foot and LIVE. There is a time to die. But there is a time to live, too. Death comes fast enough. I think we should live while we still can.