What were the first dementia signs you noticed?

Posted by bclane @bclane, Dec 22, 2024

My husband has vascular dementia as a result of at least 7 TIAs and 1 larger stroke as shown on an MRI. The only one we were aware of was a TIA in 2016. I'm guessing that some or all of the others may have happened in his sleep because there were no obvious signs like there were with the 2016 one.

Anyway, I've been thinking back to things that seemed "off" well before I started suspecting a problem. One thing was that he started mixing up pronouns. He'd refer to a female pet as "he" and vice-versa. He still does and he mostly does it with animals. He'll also tell a male pet that's he's a "good girl" and vice-versa.

When it first happened, it became a joke, but now I wonder if that was one of the first signs that something wasn't functioning the way it should. I'm curious if others can think of things that seemed "off" before the problem became obvious.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Prior to knowing my wife had dementia, I had noticed that her sense of smell was very limited. Apparently this coincides with dementia. Her other quirk of not knowing where she is space has been present a long time. When I open the car door for her, she is standing too close and doesn't realize it. This has been present a long time. Connected with dementia, I don't know. Her short term memory began declining. had neurospsych exam done. Didn't indicate dementia, went to neurologist who found she had strokes in the past which can lead to dementia which was later diagnosed. I noted that she was making repetitive sounds with her mouth. She doesn't realize she is doing it.

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My husband's dementia was also caused by strokes (one major and seven TIAs). He will sing the same line or two of a song (often a children's song) over and over during the course of the day. I don't mean he does it continually, but he'll do it often. He also will make repetitive noises sometimes. I've only realized lately that he doesn't usually do it when sitting on the porch alone. But if I or someone else is present, but not necessarily talking, then he'll do it. He also reads the time on the clock out loud over and over.

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Profile picture for ret2tus @ret2tus

Not the first signs, but the latest...he has Post-It notes with names, addresses and phone numbers on his desk and computer because he's "lost" his Contacts list on his computer and phone. And he gets even more agitated if I offer to help him.

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I've been caring for my husband for eight years, first with MCI and for the last few years with Alzheimer's. One thing I have come to appreciate about his journey is his ability to adapt when he can no longer do things. Reading your post, sounds like your husband can no longer navigate to find the contacts on his computer which must be very frustrating to him. And yet, your husband has been able to adapt to this loss by using post-it notes to recreate his contacts in an accessible place. He wants to maintain his independence. No need to help, just appreciate his efforts and agitation will disappear.

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Profile picture for jbur @jbur

I've been caring for my husband for eight years, first with MCI and for the last few years with Alzheimer's. One thing I have come to appreciate about his journey is his ability to adapt when he can no longer do things. Reading your post, sounds like your husband can no longer navigate to find the contacts on his computer which must be very frustrating to him. And yet, your husband has been able to adapt to this loss by using post-it notes to recreate his contacts in an accessible place. He wants to maintain his independence. No need to help, just appreciate his efforts and agitation will disappear.

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Good advice. I need to resist "helping" until he really asks for it.

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My husband has Alzheimer's, diagnosed in 2019. In 2017, when I retired, I started to notice things were off. He forgot what words to use for certain things and made up new words. He became less social. He stopped playing chess. I didn't notice that he was particularly forgetful. It mainly was his recall of words was off.
I notice now when he talks in his sleep, he's in business meetings 40 years ago, and has no problem with words.

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There was a good article on June 25 in New York Times about being diagnosed with dementia .....A Loved One Was Diagnosed With Dementia. Now What?
Families and experts share their best advice for navigating and coping.
I don't know if still available, but you can view 10 articles a month without being a subscriber.....

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For myself - word retrieval. And the interval required for the word to get to working memory continues to lengthen. I have been very transparent when it happens, but today I more frequently have to abandon whatever the word may be and move on with an alternate. So instead of “Burger King” I move on to “that hamburger place next door
To…”. But i don’t try to hide it. For whatever reason, that seems important to me - more honest with myself.
To me

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