Caregiver for spouse with MCI (Mild cognitive impairment)

You don't mention his current state. That makes a huge difference. I was diagnosed with mci with diffuse lewy bodies 3 years ago when I did tests because I thought something wasn't right. My neurologist said he doesn't usually sees some this early.
My wife freaked out, assuming I would be a burden within just a couple of years, should stop driving and attributed anything and everything to my decline even when there's another explanation, like lack of sleep, lifelong ADHD, or long-term depression to name a few. I spent the next 15 months having my driving tested (it's fine), learning about dementia, trying to justify my existence. Finally, after the 3rd doctor visit together and hearing again that mci is different from dementia, and my timetable is unknown, she backed off. I still have to point out not everything implies dementia. I still easily handle the 10 areas of independent daily living.
My memory isn't quite as good, especially misplacing my car keys; my sleep a little more off, but improving; my ADHD symptoms are more obvious; my eating is less regular; I get less done in a typical day. I still manage medical care, which includes making sure my 7 primary professionals are on the same page and we are all going in the same direction.
I suggest: live in the moment and set times to think about the bigger picture; create some good times, get a good professional resource and use them (doctor, geriatritian, counselor, social worker, speech and language therapist- they're trained to identify coping mechanisms - I've used all of these for different pieces); treat him with respect (includes letting him do for himself what he can); use his phone as a memory aid with calendar for appointments, including destination to use with map app, contacts, photos, etc.; don't assume a new issue can't changed, while not everything can; help him stay physically and socially active.
Most importantly, learned from having a daughter with Down Syndrome, take care of yourself first. I doubt you are still 30, and you can't help much if you're very frazzled. Treat yourself with respect and take care of yourself as well.
I'm open to private messages.

My anxiety has been pretty bad and I’ve been more tearful lately. I think the hardest thing is my husband’s smothering and controlling now. He such a sweetheart otherwise but I’m feeling overwhelmed with his “helping” me. He won’t let me do anything myself.

You don't mention his current state. That makes a huge difference. I was diagnosed with mci with diffuse lewy bodies 3 years ago when I did tests because I thought something wasn't right. My neurologist said he doesn't usually sees some this early.
My wife freaked out, assuming I would be a burden within just a couple of years, should stop driving and attributed anything and everything to my decline even when there's another explanation, like lack of sleep, lifelong ADHD, or long-term depression to name a few. I spent the next 15 months having my driving tested (it's fine), learning about dementia, trying to justify my existence. Finally, after the 3rd doctor visit together and hearing again that mci is different from dementia, and my timetable is unknown, she backed off. I still have to point out not everything implies dementia. I still easily handle the 10 areas of independent daily living.
My memory isn't quite as good, especially misplacing my car keys; my sleep a little more off, but improving; my ADHD symptoms are more obvious; my eating is less regular; I get less done in a typical day. I still manage medical care, which includes making sure my 7 primary professionals are on the same page and we are all going in the same direction.
I suggest: live in the moment and set times to think about the bigger picture; create some good times, get a good professional resource and use them (doctor, geriatritian, counselor, social worker, speech and language therapist- they're trained to identify coping mechanisms - I've used all of these for different pieces); treat him with respect (includes letting him do for himself what he can); use his phone as a memory aid with calendar for appointments, including destination to use with map app, contacts, photos, etc.; don't assume a new issue can't changed, while not everything can; help him stay physically and socially active.
Most importantly, learned from having a daughter with Down Syndrome, take care of yourself first. I doubt you are still 30, and you can't help much if you're very frazzled. Treat yourself with respect and take care of yourself as well.
I'm open to private messages.

Hello. I first started with a diary writing my feelings and my interactions with my spouse. I also read my Bible or a good book. I made sure my house was safe. Rugs, bars in the shower and clear walkways. I also made sure all legal stuff was done before he was unable to be part of it. He is mad because he cannot drive. Thank God that happened. He is not the same person in many ways. He is always in a good mood if he is hungry. All responsibilities will fall in your lap. Prepare to be having tons of different emotions. It is ok to be lost and afraid. Do your best. Be prepared to feel alone when he is in your presence. I have been dealing with this issue since 2013. Once in awhile they actually acknowledge your presence and actually thank you or tell you they "Love you". It is the long goodbye for sure. Sorry if I was so candid. I do love my spouse of 52+ yrs. 🫂

I needed to read your message today. Yesterday the responsibilities were overwhelming me!
Thank you 🙏🏻

Hello. I first started with a diary writing my feelings and my interactions with my spouse. I also read my Bible or a good book. I made sure my house was safe. Rugs, bars in the shower and clear walkways. I also made sure all legal stuff was done before he was unable to be part of it. He is mad because he cannot drive. Thank God that happened. He is not the same person in many ways. He is always in a good mood if he is hungry. All responsibilities will fall in your lap. Prepare to be having tons of different emotions. It is ok to be lost and afraid. Do your best. Be prepared to feel alone when he is in your presence. I have been dealing with this issue since 2013. Once in awhile they actually acknowledge your presence and actually thank you or tell you they "Love you". It is the long goodbye for sure. Sorry if I was so candid. I do love my spouse of 52+ yrs. 🫂

I could’ve written this post!
I feel like I live on a deserted island in my own home. All of the effort and energy I expend goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I feel like I live on a hamster wheel.
Ditto regarding the driving issue. He believes that he will get his license back and voices this daily. He’s so angry about how “they” took his driving privileges away. Yes, thank God for that!
I try to get “me” time whenever possible, am exploring meditation to try and save my sanity, and daily wonder how long I will be able to continue to provide care without losing my mind completely.
I really appreciate all of you on Mayo Connect. Like you, never in a million years did I ever think this was going to be our life post retirement.

I could’ve written this post!
I feel like I live on a deserted island in my own home. All of the effort and energy I expend goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I feel like I live on a hamster wheel.
Ditto regarding the driving issue. He believes that he will get his license back and voices this daily. He’s so angry about how “they” took his driving privileges away. Yes, thank God for that!
I try to get “me” time whenever possible, am exploring meditation to try and save my sanity, and daily wonder how long I will be able to continue to provide care without losing my mind completely.
I really appreciate all of you on Mayo Connect. Like you, never in a million years did I ever think this was going to be our life post retirement.