What is the best thing to say?

Consciousness and therefore personality is developed and are expressed in the Brain.

As the Brain fails to manifest the same reality, the descent is disorienting and terrifying.

The natural reaction is for one to lash out at the injustice often at those closest to us.

I do not suffer from dementia, but I suffer from years of psychiatric medication‘s erasing
my sense of self.

I behaved in ways that were hurtful to those who cared for me the most.

I can tell you from a man that lived in the darkness for well over a decade that the anger was not a reflection towards those I love, but it is my rage at having lost myself and my ability to love those who love me back.

I felt like and was in reality a burden I knew it and those I have known who suffer from Neuro degenerative disorders also know it.

Rational thought makes this easier to deal with, but the first thing to go when the mind goes is rational thought

As the caregiver and loved one of someone who was dying over a protracted period of time; I who was heavily sedated, can empathize with watching the person you love disappear in front of your eyes.

Make sure the cup you pour from does not become empty.

Take time for yourself and understand that the person that has loved you all these years is still there raging against the disease that is taking them away from you.

I wish you peace and good health for the rest of your days.

My husband realizes that he is forgetful, never have I said he might or could have dementia, what would be the point he feels bad enough hisself and says he is getting stupid, I tell him we all forget things sometimes.
He has his schedule that he follows breakfast, dishes, garbage on and on as long as we follow that we seem to be okay. Things get put in the wrong places which is an irritant but just that, after he has gone should he go first I will smile and remember him lovingly for the man I loved and who loved and adored and spoiled me so much. I will plod on and hope we never get to the point where he doesn’t recognize me?

My husband says he “can’t remember anything “. He says he doesn’t know what he would do if I was not here. Then later he swears that he can take care of himself.

My husband insists he is competent around repairs, finances and being aware of what needs tending but the truth is that his behavior shows otherwise, won't accept support and tries to keeps his dementia a secret from others and wants me to, also. It feels like a double whammy for me.

Mine says that too. And also that I’m controlling because I do all that he can’t do anymore. I try to tell him that one of us have to do the things necessary because he is ill and that I’m ok with helping but it doesn’t matter as in his eyes I’m the bad person. I can get family members to help me but then he’s jealous of them doing what he can’t so I try to do all myself. It’s hard to please him.

I agree with this and I believe Teepa Snow feels this way as well or close to it. Sending you healing blessings for you and your loved one. This disease is so very hard for all involved!

The anger and frustration is about the disease, not you. I don't think we as caregivers can stop doing what needs to get done. I think getting help from family friends is a great idea.

@jude5 Thank you for your response. This disease and the sufferer's suffering creates so much emotional and logistical havoc. Surender by not trying to control and receiving support have helped me the most and is a new mind set I'm working on. How I can be helpful seems to change a lot and is the most exhausting part so I am taking it day by day.

That’s all we can do. But need to take time for us too. I put off my own health issues as his are so much more serious. But today I’m seeing an ortho so I can be better to take care of my husband.

You just described my husband! Thank you for validating my feelings!!