What were the first dementia signs you noticed?

@carolhl12024 I applaud you. The question you posed is the root of much fear, and stress.
A diagnosis regarding any type of dementia, and there are many, is elusive. Many times a diagnosis isn’t made until a person exhibits the symptoms that are needed to confirm a diagnosis. Of course, that can take years. The other is postmortem.
I agree with the attitude, there’s no cure, so why does it matter…just leave me alone.

I myself have been waiting for more than 3 years for a diagnosis for myself. It’s energy draining for sure.

Thank you so much for your mention of the "creative side" of dementia. My husband has been diagnosed with Alz-like dementia. We've just started on this journey, but there are so many things I see that seem unreal, but it's very hard to explain to anyone. He does like to tell stories, he always has. And he does embellish them. But like you, I'm hearing stories of things that have happened during the time we've been married, but the events haven't really happened. Or at the least, major parts of the stories haven't happened. I've so thought "Why is he making things up", but maybe it's the dementia. Thanks!

My husband has Alzheimer's, and he also makes up stories. He has always been a very literal person, and he has never in the past been a person to exaggerate or lie. He will tell stories that I know are not true because we have been married for 57 years. I know it's all due to this horrible, perplexing Alzheimer's disease.

The moment when it was incontestable to me (husband) that my wife needed a professional diagnosis was when she was [suddenly] unable to prepare a meal as she used to do.

I saw that with my husband too. Difficult to assemble everything and have it come out at the same time as well as a loss of interest.

Thanks for your comment. I forget sometimes that it's harder for my husband to do things. I find myself wondering why tasks or projects aren't completed, and basically when I think about it... he probably can't figure out how to do it.

This isn't a post about the first signs noticed, but I thought I'd put it here in case it helps someone else. We all know how difficult it is to get someone with dementia to understand things. Besides the dementia, my husband has hearing loss, and for a long time, wouldn't wear his hearing aids. I would get so irritated with having to always repeat myself—and in a loud voice—and that was when I was in the same room. If I was in another room—well, let's just say it's good that we live in the woods because neighbors in town would have gotten sick and tired of my shouting. My throat gets easily irritated and would often be sore, and the whole situation made me very bitchy since I couldn't help but think my husband refusing to wear the aids was inconsiderate.

Anyway, we started noticing static coming from the aids when he did wear them. I could even hear it across the room. I made an appointment at the place we got them from. Turns out we were supposed to go back every 18 months to two years to be rechecked. They probably told us that, but I don't recall it. The doctor cleaned quite a bit of wax from his ears, tested his hearing again, and it had gotten worse. The hearing aids needed to be adjusted for the new loss, but it turned out they weren't working at all. The woman said it would have been like having plugs in his ears. She replaced some part in the aids and reset them at 70% of what he needs. She said he needed such a drastic change that it couldn't all be done at once, but that a minute increase each day is automatic until it gets to wear it should be.

Now I put them in his ears every morning, and I seldom have to talk any louder than I would in normal conversation. Yes, he often still doesn't understand what I mean, but he at least hears the actual words I say. It's been such an improvement for me—and I'm sure for him, too. I can imagine that it would be bad enough to not be able to remember and understand a lot of things, but then to live as if cotton was in your ears had to be miserable. If he had all his faculties, he would have recognized that there was a problem with the aids, but he couldn't.

Anyway, thought I'd post this in case anyone else is caring for a person who has hearing aids and can't seem to hear what is said in spite of them.

As we explain a task it may become obvious that there are a lot of steps, including planning. Things he always did don't get completed. I also find he tires more easily.

This sounds so much like my situation with my husband. He's so stubborn! He has hearing aids but they're either not working or his hearing has gotten worse. He needs to get checked out and I can't get him to do it. I, too, have to shout at him, right to his face, yet he still insists he can hear me just fine. He wants the TV turned up to ear-splitting levels and I can't stand that. Maybe I'll just make an appointment for him and see if that works. That's what I had to do the last time. He may not mind not being able to hear, but I mind very much. I hate sounding angry when I say anything at all.

My wife complained of memory loss for a long time (maybe a year or two) before I ever noticed anything (quite miminal). And I was paying attention. Highly educated people are often difficult to diagnose in the early stages without neuropsychological testing. My wife has a master's degree and taught school 40 years. She eventually fit the diagnosis of MCI, and 7-8 years later the short term memory loss and loss of executive function stand out, but she remains quite functional in knowing family and friends and ADLs, and even driving very short distances to familiar places. Dementia is a spectrum and the course is highly variable. You are correct (as of now) there is no cure and no treatments of consequence. I think our hope is in some medical breakthrough that might halt progression or reverse some of the brain changes. Ongoing research is crucial and I pray the current administration does not set us back too far in that regard 😢.