Any helpful hints on managing your loved one's oral hygiene?

I always appreciate the suggestions and support.
I keep encouraging his brushing, and I did take him in for a 3-month dental cleaning, which he will continue every 3 months instead of 6 months.

The way I got rid of my frustrations and anger about him not brushing his teeth was to help him. I realized he was confused on HOW to brush his teeth. So now I load his electric toothbrush and guide and direct him HOW to do it... step by step. Now he's not reluctant anymore. AND it's only taking 5 minutes of my day...which is such a small part of my day and he has good smelling breath 🙂

I now ''assist'' my wife with her dental care. So far, she allows me to brush her teeth for a short time after she does a little as well. She won't let me floss her teeth. we use 2 different mouth washes for breath. That seems to help. Biotene mouth wash seems to work well for this. We go to dentist every 3 months. Hopefully this will help prevent decay and gum disease. I can not imagine her with false teeth and going thru that. I think she would refuse and die from disease first. I do not know what else to do.

Two things came to mind. When I bought a 'child flavored' toothpaste in I think 'Tuty-fruity' or something similar, mom liked it and would then brush her teeth. Also, for a while she was afraid of the running water in the sink so we used a glass of water to wet the toothbrush and a large bowl for her to spit in. After a while, she went back to the bathroom sink to brush. Good luck!

I recently saw a suggestion to use a THREE SIDED TOOTHBRUSH. Designed for children with autism with sensitivity to brushing, they are also made for adults .
Many types available online. Also YouTube video on use.

My husband can still brush his own teeth and he uses the tool to get rid of tartar. He balks at flossing once in a while. I did read about an effective rinse that stops the development of tartar. Is it okay to name the product here?
Our problem is the dentist. We waited for her in the treatment room for 20 minutes. My husband was livid. As his Alzheimer progresses, he's more and more focused on time.
Every minute he asked me where she was, how long did we have to wait and could we leave. I managed to talk him down. It was tiring and I was annoyed with her too, ready to leave when she breezed in.
He tolerated her cleaning his teeth with the pick for five minutes.
I told her the long wait didn't help, and she said my husband's the same whether shge keeps us waiting or not.
She told me how she wanted him to acclimate to the room and get comfortable which is why she kept us waiting so long. What??? Who gets comfortable in a dentist's chair, waiting for treatment?
She basically told me she's traumatized by my husband, that he's said inappropriate things to her.
I'm always there - he's abrupt sometimes and rude, but has never sworn at her.
He's over 80, and doesn't do well with women dentists. Maybe his deep-seated chauvinism is coming out since he's lost his filter.
I can ask to switch to our dentist's husband, who she's in practice with, but I fear the waiting time will be the same with him. (She once kept me waiting for an hour).
I can try and switch to a new practice.
Yesterday I got some leads on a good practice at our Alzheimer's Association Caregiver's Support Group.
The coordinator identified the need for training medical/dental professionals.
What experiences have you had with dentists and their sensitivity to patients with dementia, or lack of it?
Thanks!

Good morning, @trishaanderson! You have received lots of good advice for the different levels of dementia. My husband has been unable to brush his teeth correctly for a while now. The hygienist told him that she was going to have me brush his teeth from now on. I floss his teeth by having him lie on his back with his head at the end of the bed. I brush his teeth in the bathroom in the morning and evening. I've been doing this now for about 6 months. Some of the medications for dementia cause dry mouth. If this is the case with your spouse, stay away from crackers and breads and oral rinses. They will only dry the mouth out more. There are gels and sprays that can be used on the teeth before eating to help combat the dry mouth. Best of luck to you on your journey.

Thank you, Jan,
Your suggestions are helpful, especially your flossing technique.

Every night when he wants to kiss me when he goes to bed, I ask if he's brushed his teeth. He says no and I say if you want a kiss, go brush. Another idea would be to have the toothbrush ready and take him by the hand into the bathroom and hand it to him. We use electric toothbrushes and they do a double buzz when the 2 mins. is up. Timers are good, too, that's what my mom used when we were little!

My DH was always very concerned about his oral health. Never neglected brushing, flossing, waterpicking. Now, he can go 2-3 days between brushing though he still uses flossers daily. I will remind him to brush and he'll say he will but later or he'll think he already did. I can't dispute this or he becomes angry with me for arguing with him. Yesterday he brushed without toothpaste using his electric toothbrush like a manual toothbrush. This was a first. I tried adding toothpaste for him but he wouldn't hold still long enough for that. He has a great dentist but keeps telling me he's sick and we have to cancel appointments.

I can usually figure out how to get things done but this one has me stumped.