Bipolar II and never feel manic — is that bipolar depression?

amberpep there are many types of depression and stages, as you said bipolar 1, 2 and bipolar depression the diagnosis is based on the severity of the symtoms and the symtoms themselves.

Hi All, well I'm new to this site & Bipolar altogether. I've worked around a mixture of consumers with mental illness & although I believe I've always had little symptoms of bipolar I just ignored them. Well long story short, in the last few months my systems have become very profound. I've become more depressed then usual, very very irritated with work, life, just everything. I stay up for hours @ night, sometimes not even sleeping because I'm planning or goal setting witch is not normal for me. My eye twitches all the time, & over the past couple of years I've distanced myself from family & friends & no longer have the pleasure of doing things I loved to do like gym 2-3xs a week & doing fun things with my children/family. I've recently made me a Doc appointment with a highly recommended psychiatrist, but with me being a new patient my appointment isn't until March 13th. my biggest fear is not knowing how I will respond to medication if I am indeed Bipolar & my second fear is weight gain because im already struggling with my weight already. Any advice anyone?

sincere the best advice I can give is when you see your psychiatrist be very open and honest about your concerns with medications. I am sure there are different types of medication for the same symtoms and if you have problems with one the doctor can either adjust the present medication or replace it. Another thing I would like to recommend to you is that you are the patient and be firm with the doctor that what you are in need of. Another words do not let him control you but at the same time be open and listen. Therapy is a two way street if communication fails and you question your therapist integrity than therapy will be a waist. Your other concern is that you have to waite till March. Contact your local hospital or clinic and see if you can either get some treatment or medication in the mean time. Also of course keep in contact with connect and let us know how you are doing or what ever you would like to talk about

@sincere, I was diagnosed as bipolar with major depression and anxiety about fifteen years ago. In hindsight, and with a little education, it is clear that I have suffered with at least mild depression all of my life. Now, at 49, I'm on disability for this, as well as fibromyalgia. My goal is to be content.. I have never been happy, and don't even strive for that anymore. My mania isn't the delusional, life's a party, thinking I can fly off the top of a building sort. Mine is the extreme agitation, irritability, and I'd like to strangle (not really) kind. To make matters worse, I am taking care of my mother, who is only 70 but acts like she's 90, my 31 year old son, who is also on disability for mental illness, my 14 year old niece, who considers & calls me her mother, and my 12 year old nephew. I've had the two youngest for the last 9 years, ever since my sister abandoned them because she didn't want to be a mom anymore. My mother is the one who adopted them because the backwards county we lived in didn't know how to let two related females adopt. If we were lesbians they could do it. Anyway, my mom was afraid I'd get mad at her and take the kids if I were the one to adopt them. Except for ADHD, they are really good kids. Thank God for Adderal! So, I find myself getting extremely frustrated with my mother and my son because neither of them will help out with housework, cooking, or trying to make our family function. I can't take my frustrations out on them, and the kids definitely don't deserve it, so I end up turning it back around on myself. I get mad that I have always had the responsibility of taking care of my family (pretty much since I was 9 years old), and I am incapable of walking away because I know that they can't function without me, especially the kids. I hate myself for being too weak to get out before I had my son and got stuck in this permanent situation. My point is, I have never had a life of my own. And when I get this frustrated, with no outlet, I cut myself. Just last week I had to get 11 stitches in my arm. So, comparing this to worrying about my weight... My mental health has to come first. I know I need more medication than what I'm taking, but at least the Cymbalta helps. I'd like to take another 60mg pill in the afternoon, but I know they won't prescribe any more than what I'm taking. I don't want to switch to something else because I can't afford to wait a couple of weeks for something new to kick in. I'm fairly certain that I would end up committing suicide. My older brother went through that, where they were constantly putting him on something new, trying to find something that would work for him. They even tried electro-shock therapy on him. He finally had enough, and he had gained about 300 pounds, and he killed himself. That was 16 years ago. I know I have given way more information than anyone probably wanted, but I have a hard time making a statement without giving the back story.
@safetyshield gave good advice about being strong and firm with the doctor. They aren't gods. If one doesn't seem to be helping, or you don't seem to have a good rapport with them, look for someone else. I'm at the point with the doctors available to me here that I'm going to start looking for someone in Pittsburgh or Cleveland. I don't respond well to a doctor who doesn't value my opinion and thinks they have all the answers, which is what I am encountering now. I guess my last PCP, which was in Indianapolis, spoiled me.
Good luck with your doctors appointment. Good for you for dealing with this now. The longer you ignore the problem the worse it tends to get.

michl46 ..... OMG, you are carrying such a heavy load, it's amazing you are still standing. I admire you for being able to do this up to this point .... I don't think I could have done it. That being said, you simply must get yourself some help .... contact Social Services, Adult Protective Services (for you), the police ...... anyone near you who you can get to listen. Make a lot of noise .... this is such an unfair and unhealthy situation for you that it's hard to imagine. And, if you don't mind me mentioning this ..... see a really good Psychiatrist and really totally lay out for him how you are feeling, what you are doing re. cutting and taking care of all these people, some of which should be taking care of themselves. In some instances you are being used and are allowing that. Find a really good Psychiatrist, talk to him, lay it all out in front of him, and let him see the "real you." I think a week in a good private hospital would do wonders for you .... just to get your meds. right and balanced, give you a total rest from all these people, and get some really good therapy.
You can't continue to allow these people to use you like this .... sure, they "may" need you (may being the operative word), but you need and deserve a life.
What would they do if you suddenly up and left town? You'd better believe they'd find a way to make it work! TAKE CARE OF YOU HON .... YOU ARE WORTH IT!
So, start contacting anyone who will help .... find a good Psychiatrist, call Social Services .... anyone you can to get the help you so desperately need. Please come back and tell us how you are. We care .....
Hugz,
Abby

Thank you @mchel46! I'm glad that you felt safe enough to share your background story. It will go a long way to help others. I also hope that you know the Connect community is here for you too.

mchel46 I am so sorry you are having these problems within your own family. I feel the same with mine. They just do not get me and take it personally. I do better talking to neighbors and some relatives than my family. But I am direct with them. I do not want them to take me down so I confront them and let them know how I feel. This is for my mental health and if they can not accept my problems than that is there problem no mine. I do not wish to harm myself but I do feel life smacking my family around till they come to their senses. Not going to happen. But it makes me feel better. I am not a parent but I have worked with many children and families and just have seen parents and how they deal with children that are disrespectful or just a difficult. I focus on my health and not let anyone take me down. When there are opportunities to talk with my family I do and sometimes I think I made progress and the same old stuff happens again. So focus on your mental health and keep strong. Let me hear from you some more its good to get things out is it not Good Luck

Wow thanks for sharing, I will keep this in mind & put my health first

Thank you so much, yes i will keep in touch & try to find a sooner date for treatment. Thanks for the advice & encourgement

@Mchle46 and @sincere, I may have a hard time knowing to which of you I'm writing. Excuse me if I get you confused.

I went to my pcp 13 or 14 years ago, generally feeling lousy, and told him that the symptoms I was experiencing could be depression, but it could be explained by an organic problem. He started me on Celexa, and for more than a year, I had a bunch of tests. One was a sleep study, and found that I have sleep apnea, so ever since then, I've used a CPAP machine. I also found that my gall bladder wasn't working, and had it removed. I felt better after both of these things, but within a year, I was very depressed and suicidal. I tried to overdose several times, unsuccessfully, obviously, and admitted myself to an inpatient mental health facility that only worked with suicide survivors. I learned a lot during the 3 weeks I was there, and started seeing a therapist. I tried several antidepressants, and finally found that Bupropion was the one that helped. Finding the right medication can be the pits. It takes 6 weeks to know if it will do anything, and each has side effects - I gained weight with one of them, and just as the warnings said, at 3 weeks I was Really suicidal - this was before I had been overdosing - but eventually, one worked.

At this time, I had been a minister for 34 years, and I was going through a rough patch with some people, which made me more depressed. Then came the attempts, the hospital stay, and seeing a psychiatrist, who made multiple diagnoses, major depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, and depressive bipolar disorder. No wonder I'd had all I could take!

I eventually retired, and over the past ten+ years, I've added a couple of different meds to enhance the antidepressant. I also have chronic pain from idiopathic peripheral neuropathy, and have tried every medication available for it, and I'm taking Cymbalta and Morphine sulfate contin for the pain now. Soon, I plan to try a spinal cord stimulator implant. I hope that will reduce the pain.

In the hospital, we were told to rate our day at the evening meeting. We used a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best day of our lives. For me, 4 was a bad day with suicidal thoughts. At first, I was a 2, and I knew that I had to be at least a 4 before I went home. Since then, I've improved ever so slowly, and by now I'm 6, a level I thought I'd never achieve.

I guess what I'm saying in all this, is to begin with a good pcp who'll refer you to specialists, and continue to work with you until you get the help you need. For me, that's meant referrals to a sleep center, a neurologist, an orthopedist, a heart specialist, psychiatrist. . .Then be sure you find specialists who listen to you, take you seriously, answers your questions, and explains everything in a way you can understand. Then, be patient. Stuff like this takes a while, and can take a long time, to diagnose and treat. As a retired minister, I would add, pray. There's acknowledged physical benefit from prayer. Of course, a therapist will help you find the changes you can make, and will help you see the goodness inside you, and many other things. God bless you both as you plot your course, and receive the treatment you need.

Jim