Approach to bringing in a caregiver for wife

People respond differently to accepting help. My cousin was in her 60s and was happy to accept someone helping her, however my dad, who is almost 88 is quite resistant and suspicious. He just cannot understand why a stranger is in the house doing various things. He refuses to accept any help from the aid for his personal care. We explain the help is for us caregivers, but it makes no difference. Whichever approach you take, stand firm and insist the help comes in. Full time caregiving for a person with dementia is hard work and not sustainable long term without outside help. Good luck with everything.

We have a caregiver from an agency. She is here with my husband 2 days a week. He is still functional but needs 24/7 guidance with everything and he doesn’t drive. She makes his meals and drives him to the gym and errands and in between does light housekeeping. I love it and he enjoys her.
We both interviewed her with the agency coordinator. My husband wax in on the decision from the start.
However there are still days where he resents me going out all day. But I let that go and enjoy a few hours of freedom.
I hope the agency will help you identify your needs and interview the person.

Good morning, @waltf I know each of our situations is different but my wife was very resistant to my getting help so I "introduced" our first helper as a cleaning helper for me. This worked for us and after a while.

I interviewed every caregiver we used! I found this super important and did this even with folks we got through agencies. The results were still hit.

Good luck!

From two views:
My dad was pretty far gone when I interviewed a lady a friend had recommended for help. She was sweet, loved football and just so easy going that it was an easy choice and she and dad would spend hours just hanging together and her quietly caring for his needs when he rested. This wonderful woman continued to care for my mom after dad’s death and mom could’t drive. They went out to lunch, on trips together and were both friends and caregiver/carereceiver. Now that mom is gone, our Audry still calls to check on us…it was a God send relationship and I love this lady!

My daughter hired a caregiver for me from an agency without interviews when I had a heart attack. It was a nightmare and lasted two days because she was cold as ice, uppity about what she would do and was not expected to do, and made me feel a burden in my own home. So letting your wife in on the interviews is most recommended. Remember this is your wife’s territory and she should feel compfortable with her new companion regardless of the reason.

Ok I have an interview with caregiver company coming up and wondering how to introduce her to husband who is super dependent on me.

Hi @cnutt
Advice I got from our geriatrician was to tell my husband (with Moderate Alzheimer's) that I was bringing in a caregiver to help me. I haven't done it yet as he still functions well.
Maybe the helper could ease in by helping you do some household chores and start doing things for your husband slowly. As s/he gains his trust, s/he can do more for him.
Also our geriatrician told me to have credit freezes in place before bringing anyone into our home and only get help from agencies or persons that are bonded and insured.
Good luck!

Maybe caregiver could come one day every other week, and then every week, then 2 days a week.....just to make for an easier transition to having a stranger helping around the house....

That's a good idea, @1995 victoria. I think it would work for someone who has memory in tact or mild-moderate memory loss. My husband struggles. He can't remember anything so relies on me to fill in the gaps, which he sometimes rejects.