Approach to bringing in a caregiver for wife

Posted by waltf @waltf, Feb 25 5:33pm

My wife is 5 ½ yrs from Alzheimer diagnosis. We are 84 & 85. She’s somewhat functional with hygiene, meal clean up, laundry. But it’s worsening quickly. How approach bringing in a caregiver after vetting a caregiver agency to find candidates? Interview candidates with my wife? Do it by myself (probably with a daughter)? Any ideas about the process appreciated.

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@pamela78

I'm fortunate that my two children live nearby and I have two grandsons. Their lives are lots more interesting than mine. Ha. My husband refuses to have a cell phone of any kind. I wanted to give him a flip phone for emergencies but he won't even have that. He's begun using the wrong word for things, like "yellow" for "red." Then he insists he said the right thing. I feel so sorry about all this. He's always been so proud of his academic accomplishments and his intelligence. Now he can't spell "bananas" and can barely read words of more than two syllables.
He's changed a lot in the past year. I wonder what the next will bring. I try to plan for the future--wills, PoA, living wills, etc.--but I don't want to move into assisted living. The very thought makes me want to give up here and now. So I intend to cope at home for as long as I possibly can, though I know that's going to be rough. My son-in-law's 72 yr. old mother died a couple of years ago of Alzheimer's and the end was pretty awful. She stayed at home until the end though. Maybe Hospice at the very end. I hear good things about Hospice.

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Maybe you could get a smart watch for your husband so you can keep track of him.

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@maryvc

We have a caregiver from an agency. She is here with my husband 2 days a week. He is still functional but needs 24/7 guidance with everything and he doesn’t drive. She makes his meals and drives him to the gym and errands and in between does light housekeeping. I love it and he enjoys her.
We both interviewed her with the agency coordinator. My husband wax in on the decision from the start.
However there are still days where he resents me going out all day. But I let that go and enjoy a few hours of freedom.
I hope the agency will help you identify your needs and interview the person.

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We are not there yet, but I cherish my classes that I take 3-4 times a week. I’ve been dreading thinking at some point, I will not be able to continue those, and see my friends. Your post gives me hope. Currently we have folks who clean, and my husband doesn’t even like them coming in, so not sure how this will play out. Thank you for this.

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