Caregiving: Anyone else doing this alone?

Thank you. I have a social worker coming out tomorrow to talk with me about the situation. We are meeting at my mom's house (she just lives up my driveway) so I can vent and she can offer options. And that way Joe wont be hearing all of this. My heart breaks for him. I have to remind myself that he is dying and is anxious about it all. I know I would be but I hope I would be kind to people. Thanks for the prayers. I really appreciate them.

Well they have increased his meds since they have been coming. They have increased his morphine and now they have increased his xanax, but if a person does not use them as directed, they can stop giving them any at all. Joe always takes more than the daily amt prescribed bccause he wants to be high. They can't really tell if the meds are helping him or not if he does not take them the right way. I understand where they are coming from. He always tells them that he is not in pain so they figure that he does not need an increase. But after I called them yesterday, they did decide to increase his xanax. I came home for doing some shopping for him, and he is acting like he is high. Either he took too many of his meds already (just got them yesterday) or he had someone bring him something today while I was gone. His behavior changes from day to day. He is hard to deal with. But I am doing my best. I know and he knows that he is dying and I know he is scared. It just breaks my heart to see him this way. I pray that God will take him quickly and painlessly. But His will be done.

That sounds very distressing. Would he be willing to go to an inpatient hospice facility?

No. He made it very clear to both the nurse and I that he wants to die at home. The nearest hospice home is in Pittsburgh area and is about an hour away. And that type of traffic scares me. I am a two lane country road girl. But I will do my best to honor his wishes and keep him at home as long as I can.

I hope you can get support from others who have encountered this type of situation. I can’t imagine how I’d manage. Best wishes on your journey forward. Please take care.

thank you so much. Selfishly, I wish it was all over.

I don’t consider that selfish at all. You are incredibly caring and it’s understandable that you hope he doesn’t suffer through this time. Grieving the loss of a loved one before they are actually gone must be very painful.

I have known 3 people who were diagnosed with a terminal illness, who cut off communication with most people. They just shut down and did not take calls, go out or accept visitors. It must be very difficult for their daily family member caregivers.

Thank you for being so understanding. Yesterday a social worker came out to talk to me. She was very nice and let me vent. Also, I signed up for the caregivers zoom meetings that are available on this site. They are every thursday. Next week I plan on attending since I missed yesterdays. Well, today is quiet so far as he is sleeping. My heart goes out to him. OOPs I spoke too soon. He is waking up. Now the noise he makes will start. God bless you.

Not selfish at all, you are human and want the misery to stop. That is a normal human reaction to stress, so give yourself some grace. 🫂

My mom just went into the hospital. Probably, transferring to rehab for lack of mobility. So, I’m sole caregiver for my dad at home. Trying to work remotely, but it’s definitely not ideal. Not sustainable long term.