Looking for advice regarding wife's progression (10 years)

the relationship between a mother and daughter is totally different than a husband and wife of 55 years. A 50 year old daughter/son can tell their mother to do something and she will do it. a 75+ year wife will not do anything her husband says unless he is good a persuasion.

Resistance to care is incredibly frustrating. It’s actually the most challenging part of caregiving for me. Bith if my parents are resistant. I learned to just do the best I can. I might offer bribes of a favorite treat or special movie. Some suggest that you say the doctor appointment is for yourself and ask them to accompany them. Once there, the nurses may have more luck with convincing her to give a sample. Ot doctor may treat with a maintenance dose.

Whenever my husband (Alzheimer's - at least 8 years in) doesn't want to do something, like take a pill, etc. I tell him he could die if he doesn't. It works. He doesn't want to die. If he doesn't want to shower, I tell him he could get a bad infection. It works.
Re UTI, if she has one, she will eventually feel pretty bad pain and may become cooperative.
Would the doctor prescribe an antibiotic to be on the safe side?

Hi @tunared, Do you think it would have helped to remove yourself and go to another room? As long as you were there, there was a target for her anger.

I did just that and it worked for awhile. 4 hours later she came and started in again but not as vicious as before. the next day, she did not remember anything. Thanks for your suggestion.

Any sudden change in status or behavior should raise the question of what might be the cause. A fever or infection (even without other symptoms) could do this. An OTC (over the counter) medication, such as an antihistamine could do this (common ingredient in OTC sleep aids). There is a condition called "sundowning" that is common in moderate to advanced dementia, where early evening and nighttime restlessness and agitation may occur. Old people (in general) and dementia patients (specifically) tolerate any medication less well than younger people, and even when a medication is needed, it is likely to be at a much lower dose, so medication adjustment might be indicated. Any drugs used to treat agitation and restlessness have the potential to actually make the condition worse (use at low dose, if at all). So any sudden change in condition should tell you, something is going on.

Thanks for your comments. the only drugs she has been on have been long term with no changes is dosage. I'm guessing it's another step in her progression.
Her mother has Alzheimers and lived with us for 18 years, so even though I know what to expect, I'm still scared & sad to see where my partner of over 55 years is heading.

Just remember, @tunared, her brain is broken and there's no rhyme or reason to her behavior. It's evidence, and the result of of her disease.

@tunared I've gone thru alot of emotions with my hubby and feeling like i'm gonna lose it has been one of them. This platform has helped with sharing my struggles and listening to what others have to say and knowing I'm not alone, even tho I have felt alone. Do you attend any in-support groups? I find it helps with putting a face to a name to share...but this is great as well.
I told myself for the longest time, that "i got this" not realizing that I would eventually need support and I am SO glad that i finally got the support because it has made such a big difference. The strategies and tips on how to handle certain situations has been invaluable because it could be things that I wouldn't have thought. Know that you ARE NOT alone!!!

I understand. Every patient is different (with a lot of overlap). It was the suddenness of her change that made me think there could be another cause (I'm a retired physician). But it certainly could be just natural progression. Unless it resolves quickly, it is usually worth checking with her physician. It isn't my intent to offer medical advice as I've been retired a long time and I'm now a caregiver with a medical background.