Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

I would suggest you get linked with a neurologist ASAP, if possible one that specializes in geriatrics. Your husband’s PCP should be able to do this for you. The neurologist will likely order a brain scan & send him to a neuropsychologist for testing. That is the only way you will get answers & a treatment plan.

Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad to hear he is seeing a neurologist you both like. If you aren’t seeing a therapist for yourself, I would encourage you to consider it. I found having someone that was not a friend or family to talk to about my feelings, helpful.

I was beside myself, not in a good place mentally, & having problems coping. I knew I needed a therapist to talk to. My Primary Care Drs. office sent me a list but I could not find anyone on that list who I wanted to see that would accept my coverage. I went to the Psychology Today site & found a counselor there. You might try there. I had to call a number of places to find someone who was accepting new patients & accepted my insurance. Fortunately I like the counselor I am seeing. Know too, you always have the option of seeing someone else if you happen to get linked with a counselor you don’t feel is helpful. You might start by asking your primary care if they have anyone they recommend. If not, try Psychology Today.com wishing you the best.

I totally agree not sharing my concerns with family. Unfortunately family doesn't understand the daily issues. They only see my husband on holidays..

Yeah, it’s a fine line knowing what to say. There are so many variables & dynamics involved in family relationships. There are some friends & family members I have not yet said anything to. The ones closest to us, I try to keep up to date without burdening them with my concerns. If you have kids, my own personal opinion is that they need to know. Again, I think that is where therapists can help & why I encourage everyone on this journey to get linked with one.

I believe in exercise and diet also for the both of us. I belong to our Rec Center
Love the aquatic kick boxing class..swimming
Hot tub and sauna. It's been my therapy

Thank you,

Thank you for that exact sentence: “Never say (don’t you remember”

It is SO hard.

We are not at the stage where many in this group are…my husband still drives to familiar places, and helps with dinner clean up, shovels the sidewalk etc. But he talks to me all day long! Now that I am trying to learn how to do our finances (he’s always done them) sometimes I’m in the middle of something my brain struggles with when he asks the question yet a 4th time in a ten minute span. I need to remember to think a few seconds before I reply. And thank you to mtdt757 (above) for reminding me of the Serenity prayer. It has always been a favorite of mine. I need it now more than ever. He used to pick on me for stuff so the “don’t you remember?” Part sometimes just slips out of my mouth like the gentle sarcasm joking we used to do with each other. The changes are so subtle that sometimes I forget he is changing from the person I’ve been married to for 51 years.

I need to add I know I should be grateful he talks to me so much…one day that will not happen, and I do realize it. He has no hobbies. We will join the Senior Center but I doubt he will go without me. I have always needed a little “alone” time…but need to kick myself in the big-girl pants and realize that isn’t going to happen much anymore. Done venting, and thank you. I know “guilt” is not good, but….

My best friend's husband died three years ago. She used to get so mad at him because he wouldn't talk. Now she understands why but at the time she was very frustrated as she's a big talker herself. My husband interrupts me all the time and tells me things I've heard a million times and I get very frustrated. I wish he'd just be quiet. We don't get to pick and choose, I guess. But don't feel guilty. Everyone going through something like this will have plenty to feel guilty about. It's the situation, it's not us. We're just normal people trying to cope with a very unnatural problem. My husband has no friends, no kids, a brother across the country, and he wears the same clothes everyday and hasn't cut his beard in months. He looks like Rip Van Winkle. But he's gregarious and talks to everyone and anyone he runs into, especially at his favorite coffee shop. He wore out his welcome at his beloved Science Center. I just hope the coffee shop people will tolerate him for a long time. Without that I don't know what either of us would do. Feel what you feel and don't apologize. No one is judging you here.