I just don't know what to do anymore.

Posted by val29 @val29, Jan 1 1:42am

I'm 26, female. grew up with strict, abusive parents and still live with them due to circumstances and compulsion. my mum still hits me, along with verbal abuse. sometimes it feels like this is my life, i have to live through the pain. i cry a lot. I used to go to a psychiatrist but they won't allow me to go now. they control my finances and everything. maybe i should just end it for once and all. i feel incredibly done with life.

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rjjb | @rjjb | Jan 8 9:56am

God loves you more than the universe.
Offer your prayers and sufferings to Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for YOU.
I am also praying for you.

val29 | @val29 | Jan 11 1:45am

In reply to @depressedbutnotdead "I gathered from you use of "mum" that you weren't in the States. Are you in..." + (show)

I'm from India.

yram | @yram | Jan 11 11:47pm

You must get away from these abusive people. Ask a church or the police dept if they can get you in touch with a safe place you can go to. Yo deserve to live free and be respected. Your mental health will definitely improve. Sending prayers your way. Please do it.

depressedbutnotdead | @depressedbutnotdead | Jan 11 11:57pm

In reply to @val29 "I'm from India." + (show)

Oh, that makes it tougher. I've spent a fair bit of time in India and truly love your country for many reasons. But the treatment of women is not one of them. Sadly, I know your situation is not uncommon there.

India doesn't have near as many organizations as we have in the West for helping domestic abuse victims, but there are a few. These two articles can link you to them.
https://borgenproject.org/organizations-in-india/
https://give.do/blog/top-5-ngos-helping-victims-of-domestic-violence/

rashida | @rashida | Jan 13 7:46am

In reply to @hannaaltmann1 "PTSD ANXIETY DEPRESSION Traumatic events through life been a widow for 12 years I am 71..." + (show)

@hannaaltmann1 what is CI?

rashida | @rashida | Jan 13 8:57am

@val29 This is a very short (yes, short!) version of my story.

I can totally relate to your situation because I was in your situation too, having grown up in Pakistan/Bangladesh. I don’t know what your background/community is, but I was from the most backward of East Indian communities - Memons, if you have ever heard of them! My home life was a hell on earth! The only thing that prevented me from committing suicide was my fear of going from my earthly hell to the eternal hell!

I was fortunate to find a family friend who took me under her wing and became a sort of surrogate mother to me. She sweet talked my mother (my father had died when I was fourteen years old) into allowing me to spend time with her. She would take me to her home in the morning and bring me back to my hell hole in the evening. She taught me shorthand (this was in the 1960s) and typing, and even convinced my mother to buy me a typewriter “just so I could have a hobby and something for me to do at home”. When she thought I was ready she helped me find a job as a secretary. She also encouraged me to move abroad somewhere.

It was difficult in those days since I was very young and totally under the control of my mother and this community I belonged to, but I got a telephone directory (my only source of information in those days!) got the addresses of every Embassy and High Commission in the world - no exaggeration - and secretly wrote a letter to each asking for immigration. I was rejected by every one of them - including Britain and Australia - until I found one country - Canada - that actually sent me an application form for immigration and I pursued that, even though I knew little to nothing about Canada, much less knew anyone in the country. It took a couple of years for the immigration process but I finally, made it out - a week before my 23rd birthday.

If I could do it over fifty years ago, @val29 so can you now! Talk to anyone you can trust, contact the pastor of a church, keep looking for a way out - and get.out.of.there!