I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm 26, female. grew up with strict, abusive parents and still live with them due to circumstances and compulsion. my mum still hits me, along with verbal abuse. sometimes it feels like this is my life, i have to live through the pain. i cry a lot. I used to go to a psychiatrist but they won't allow me to go now. they control my finances and everything. maybe i should just end it for once and all. i feel incredibly done with life.