What were the first dementia signs you noticed?

We are so there. I have to watch what I say and how I say it. My husband is very sensitive to anything I say if it sounds like a correction or question of his behavior. He is getting more irritable. He loves when I smile, laugh, look calm but if I look frustrated ( which I am a lot) I have to be very careful.

Hi, all caring caregivers! My brother sent this article and I really thought you might like it.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/23/well/mind/caregivers-dementia-mood-changes-management.html?
Becky

The "creative" side of dementia is something my husband also experiences. He tells stories about things that I know didn't happen because they allegedly occurred since we've been together. I think it's a case of him trying to fill in blanks in his memory. And there have been at least three times I'm sure of that he didn't know who I was—didn't know my name, was surprised when I told him we'd been married 34 years, etc. I suspect there may have been other times based on the odd looks he gives me. In between, though, he knows who I am and calls me by name.

The odd thing is that when he doesn't know who I am, the "strange" woman (me) in his house doesn't seem to scare him. At least, so far he hasn't called 9-1-1 to report me. 🙂

My husband is still a nice guy, but no short term memory and got lost driving. I have to do everything, but it’s ok. I just hope he can continue to shower himself.

Have you considered trying another neurologist that will take more interest & also do a neuropsychological
Evaluation? I can’t believe the doctor is unable to identify a problem based on the symptoms you described.

Hi @suegia, I can imagine your growing annoyance and impatience with the changes in your partner. Hopefully, the upcoming appointment will provide some answers why this is happening. As you prepare, you might find this discussion helpful:
- What is the benefit of a Neuropsychological testing?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-is-the-benefit-of-a-neuropsychological-testing/
Is your partner concerned about the upcoming appointment?

Hi @loosly, My husband became resistant to showering and he had always been meticulous. He would shower once every five days after I pleaded with him to shower.
He broke his hip and while he was in rehab, I had the tub taken out and a shower bed installed with grab bars and a shower chair. When he came home, I realized it was easier to shower with him than to give him instructions from outside. When we're in the shower, he often asks, "What do I do now?"
I asked him why he didn't want to shower for so long and he said, "I just didn't know what to do."

@bclane I noticed things were "off" with my hubby when he would bring me something other than what i asked for out of the frig or he couldn't remember what I asked for and i would get nothing from the frig. Or he would forget his sunglasses when we would go out and he used to ALWAYS remember them. And he starting forgetting to do things at work that he had worked at for 7 years. And numerous other little things that are too detailed to go into. But really made me decide to take him in to get checked was because of the show This Is Us. My hubby was showing some of the same signs as the main character and they took her in to get checked and sure enough, she developed dementia. If it wouldn't have been for that show, I probably would have let it go unchecked for a while. I was hoping and praying it wasn't alz caused by dementia but in the back of my mind I had a feeling it was, so I was somewhat ready to hear it, but it wasn't easy to hear and there was alot of tears from me...not so much from him tho. They say that the people closest to the one inflicted won't see the signs as much as ones who see them every so often, so if you suspect ANYTHING that is off, please get it checked. We all know there is no cure but I feel the sooner you get diagnosed the better you will be able to manage it because it's not just them being defiant or selective hearing or just ignoring you, etc, etc, etc. I was also doing some research about MCI so i could be a little educated and not so blindsided when he started testings.
May you find peace and strength during this difficult journey

Looking back, my first hint was my husband started having trouble doing the steps at the self-serve gas pump. He can get impatient and I would get annoyed, thinking he was rushing and being ridiculous. I wouldn’t say anything, but I would get out and do the steps and he would complain the pump kiosk wasn’t working right. Then, more and more difficulty, much later I realized I had become the proverbial frog in the boiling water.

I had noticed some small things that concerned me, like not remembering where a picture was taken after I made the comment I liked the picture of he & I. (It was our son’s wedding).

What actually led to further testing was a follow up appt. with a neurologist after having a TIA then an endarterectomy for a 90-95% blockage of his left Carotid artery. On follow up with the neurologist he could not state who the President was he was asked. I was appalled!!! He talks politics all the time. To me it was unfathomable that he couldn’t answer that. He could say who wasn’t the President naming previous presidents that were not in office but not the present one. That got him an appointment with a neuropsychologist that diagnosed the Mild Cognitive Impairment. The hardest part of those findings was yes, there is an issue. We don’t quite know why, it may stay stable or it could get worse. So now we live with uncertainty and pray.