1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | 1 day ago
In reply to @scottrl "When I was a teenager, the Chicago Cubs had a third baseman named Ron Santo. He..." + (show)
@scottrl

When I was a teenager, the Chicago Cubs had a third baseman named Ron Santo.

He was one of my Dad's favorite players. Though Dad was from Chicago's South Side, he was a Cubs fan, a mystery I could never solve.

Anyway, the Cubs wanted to trade Ron to another team. When my Dad told me about it, he said that Ron's contract had a provision that he couldn't be traded without his permission.

I said, "What did they call that -- the Santo Clause?"

Dad, looking surprised, said, "You saw that in the paper!"

I replied, "No, but what else would they call it?"

[This photo upload worked. Hmmm.]

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Great joke!

My all-time favorite team's the '69 Cubbies. Santo at the hot corner, Kessinger to Beckert to Banks. Randy Hundley behind the plate. Fergie Jenkins the ace on the mound. Leo "The Lip" Durocher in the dugout. The Heartbreak Kids!

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1 reply
Scott R L | @scottrl | 1 day ago
In reply to @itchyd "Great joke! My all-time favorite team's the '69 Cubbies. Santo at the hot corner, Kessinger to..." + (show)
@itchyd

Great joke!

My all-time favorite team's the '69 Cubbies. Santo at the hot corner, Kessinger to Beckert to Banks. Randy Hundley behind the plate. Fergie Jenkins the ace on the mound. Leo "The Lip" Durocher in the dugout. The Heartbreak Kids!

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And Ernie Banks!

"Let's play two!"

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1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | 1 day ago

Dad Joke:

I swallowed a bunch of synonyms the other day.

Gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

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itchyd | @itchyd | 17 hours ago
In reply to @scottrl "And Ernie Banks! "Let's play two!"" + (show)
@scottrl

And Ernie Banks!

"Let's play two!"

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Yes!

Mr. Cub. One of the most talented men to ever play the game and one of the classiest. My first MLB game was a Cubs/Braves game at Wrigley in '69. Ernie signed my program and spent a minute or two making chit-chat with a smart-ass 12 year old kid, which was the thrill of my life, at that time. Can't help you with the mystery of your Dad being a SS Cubs fan, Scott. My best friend in high school was a South Side suburban transplant and he HATED the Cubs. The Sox were pretty bad for most of the time that I was growing up. But, they had some great players: Richie Allen was a standout, even though his best days were behind him (as a Phillie) by the time he graced Comiskey Park.

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shirleyrawlins | @shirleyrawlins | 17 hours ago

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day,
and the box said 2-4 years.

Don't remember if I sent this before.

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4 replies
james2526 | @james2526 | 17 hours ago

Sharing laughter truly brings us closer! Do you have a favorite joke or funny moment to kick things off? Let’s spread some smiles today!

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itchyd | @itchyd | 12 hours ago
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day, and the..." + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day,
and the box said 2-4 years.

Don't remember if I sent this before.

Jump to this post

That joke's actually aged quite well.

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itchyd | @itchyd | 12 hours ago
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day, and the..." + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day,
and the box said 2-4 years.

Don't remember if I sent this before.

Jump to this post

BTW, Shirley: Don't sweat repeating a joke now and then, especially on my account. At my present level of mental acuity, I won't remember a joke for more than a week or two!🫠

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1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | 11 hours ago
In reply to @loribmt "The limo I rented for the holiday party didn’t include the driver! I spent 500 bucks..." + (show)
@loribmt

The limo I rented for the holiday party didn’t include the driver!

I spent 500 bucks and have nothing to chauffeur it!

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I do declare, Miss Daisy sho' do know how to throw a fit!
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Scott R L | @scottrl | 11 hours ago
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day, and the..." + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in one day,
and the box said 2-4 years.

Don't remember if I sent this before.

Jump to this post

Great jokes are timeless and worth repeating.

My Dad remembered every joke he ever heard, and some of them, despite their age, were quite hilarious. Here's one:

An old bachelor said, "I could have married any girl I pleased!"
To which an observer commented, "Obviously, he never pleased any girl."

And speaking of old bachelor jokes, this one goes back centuries:
An old bachelor had been seeing a widow for many years.
Finally, she asked him why he wouldn't marry her.
He said, "If I did, I wouldn't have anywhere to go in the evening."

You can't beat the classics.

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