What Distracts You From the Pain?

Thanks. I do a little yoga and I do meditate. Getting out does help. Sitting in my back yard looking at the Mountain now. Thanks again

Knitting is my big stress reliever. While I'm knitting--if I'm not working on a complicated pattern--I listen to audiobooks on my Kindle. I've never knitted with 100% linen yarn before, and I've had some in my yarn "stash" for years. So now I'm knitting a summer top out of it. I kind of make up my patterns as I go along. Sometimes I borrow details from patterns I see in knitting magazines, and sometimes I just grab a stitch dictionary, page through it, and find something I like. The backs and the fronts of tops that I make are usually different but complementary, so that I can wear them front to back or back to front. Right now I'm using a really easy stitch that I found in a knitting magazine and listening to Bram Stoker's Dracula, which I'd never read before. I normally knit in the evening and look forward to it all day while I'm working. Currently I don't have any freelance projects to work on (I'm a freelance editor, proofreader, and translator ((German/English)), and I work for various publishers in the US), so I have time during the day to knit, also. Yaaaaay!

To the group ::: to try and get my mind off the pain, I go to the pool at my gym and meet some wonderful friends, but I am worried that when September comes they cover the pool. We are able to use it when it is covered but not many people go and I am someone who needs people around to talk to. It gets myself out and I am not home getting depressed because my chronic pain and surgeries have taken all my hobbies, especially dancing and aerobics away from me.
I know the best thing is to get out of the house but boy is it hard to get motivated when you can't do anything physical. By the way, today is my 72 year birthday and I have been married for 52 years next week and he has been so supportive and I have felt so guilty for what I have put him through. So if I can get some positive feedback from the connect group for feeling so guilty I would appreciate it. And yes if the situation was reversed I would be just as supportive but that doesn't make me feel better. Thank you Marield65

Marie, CONGRATULATIONS on your birthday AND on your anniversary! If you can, please try to lose the guilt. It is a soul-eater and a soul-destroyer. It does nothing good for you--or for your husband. Have you tried therapy for the guilt? I hope you have or that you do. I think we ALL have something(s) that we feel guilty about, and it's SUCH a wasted emotion. It just eats you alive. As you say, your husband has been so supportive. And as you say, you'd do the same for him if the situation were reversed.

Are there any other hobbies you can get involved with, other than dancing and aerobics? Do you paint or draw or sculpt or knit or crochet or do other needlework? Have you tried kumihimo (sp?), an astounding kind of beautiful braiding? Look into the art classes available at your local art museum (if you have one) or at your local senior center. (I've taught knitting at our local senior center, and my students ranged in age from 11 up to about 90. So, no, not only "old folks" go to the senior center. I tried out tai chi at my senior center. I was one of the youngest people in the class, and everybody else was astounding at it--except me.) There's also chair yoga, which is very gentle yoga, and you might be able to do that. It does wonders for limbering you up. Is there a musical instrument you've always had a hankering to play? I'll bet there are group lessons available. Anyway, PLEASE explore some creative outlets. You may think you have no talent, but, yes, YOU DO. We all do!

Please do get help about the guilt, if you don't already. It's taking up too much real estate in your brain, and it needs to be evicted.

Hugs to you,
Hazel

@marieheld65
Marie
Let me first wish you a happy birthday and happy anniversary! It is so difficult to lose the active life we once had. I used to feel guilty about the limited things I could do. Like you I heard the ‘shoe on the other foot’ theory. As time passed I felt more depressed. Then my sweet husband said to me that he was grateful for the days I could do something fun outside the home. I realized I wasn’t feeling as much guilt as I was loss of what I had, who I was. I mourned the loss and began self- affirmations at the end of each day and soon began to feel better.
Phrases such as:
• Yay! You took a shower today!
• I’m proud of you for getting dressed/making dinner
• I walked the dog to the corner!
It was around that time I was introduced to the Spoon Theory. Simply put, we start each day with a number of “Spoons”. We use the spoons for everything we do. For those of us who are limited, not by our mind but by our bodies, use ‘spoons’ at a faster rate and run out. Here is a link to The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
One of the things I love about our community on Connect is the cyber friendships we develop. I’ll bet you don’t give yourself credit for what you contribute to these boards. Each of us is learning by sharing. While it may not be face to face contact that you are used to by going to the pool, dancing, or aerobics I think it is better than walling yourself off from the outside. Is there a local library or daycare where you could go and read to children? Or maybe a Veterans home to go to visit those who have no one?

Jen

Hi, Jen,

Like your posts a lot. My partner has MS and introduced me to the Spoon Theory. She reminds me of it when I nag her to do something. Mostly, I remember. Thanks again. Michael

Hi Sandytoes thank you for the good wishes. And you are right, I don't give myself enough credit and I never thought about my contribution to these boards. I am on my iPad a lot to write on these boards when I could do them so much easier and faster on my laptop. But to sit at my laptop for any length of time pushes on my sciatica and the pain is terrible. See, I don't even give my self credit for that.
You have enlightened me so much that you lifted my spirits because we are going out to dinner for my birthday tonight and I am always afraid that something is going to happen and I am going to disappoint my family.
Do you know that I celebrate my birthday in honor of you and the fact that I went through more than my allotted spoons this year. I am sure I used up more than 4380 spoons this past year. Because I can do so much more than I give myself credit for. Thankful I am and thanks to my cyber friend. When I can figure it out I will put my picture in the circle instead of the pink. Again thanks! Marie

Thank you hazelblumberg,this is Marie. Over the years (I am 72) I have been very active and did every kind of thing you have listed except for the braiding which I will look into and the gym I belong to has everything you mentioned but I have to get motivated. Most things are in the morning and my bones have to get well oiled. But I will kick myself in the butt to get going. I used to do these things but I think I got kicked with some kind of surgery and lost my momentum every time I did something. But I am a much stronger person and I will do it. Check on me later and hopefully I'll have good news. Thanks Marie

I know what you mean, Marie. It's hard for me to get going, too. I used to be a morning person, and then I got fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. The fibro has, thank goodness, mostly faded, except that I do get pain in my legs in the winter. But the CFS has remained the same. I used to be so energetic!

Anyway, my husband and I were going out to lunch, and we passed a shop I'd never seen before. They offered mosaic, pottery, and glass fusing classes. WOW! So, I went in and signed up for the glass fusing class. I've taken one class in making glass beads, and it was probably the most exciting, fascinating classes I've ever taken. Not that I made beads again, but I learned a lot! So, today was the last day to sign up for the glass fusing class, and I did. It meets during the week, once, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Now, those are hours I can deal with! AND it's not too far from my house, either. Being chronically fatigued, on top of everything else (just took my first pain pill, tylenol + codeine, in about two weeks!), doesn't leave one wanting to do much.

I hope you can find some afternoon or early evening classes!

Hazel

Hi everyone - I had an experience last week that provided temporary relief. A cupping massage. It was amazing but I was not stiff the following morning! Sore in certain areas where the focus was with the cups but did not feel the overall stiff, flu-like feeling the following day.