At what point are you considered alone forever?

I don't have a problem with that type of relationship but am surprised by how many don't want to get married. Of course, they are the ones that bring nothing but themselves to the relationship. They have no home, can barely afford the car they have, live mostly by credit card and worry about paying bills. I can't do that but I can do the long-term (even monogamous...lol) thing with the understanding that my stuff is spoken for when I no longer have need for it...lol

From your photo, it looks like you've got a good friend right there!
I get a lot of comfort and feelings of purpose from my cats. It's not everything, but it sure helps!

Hello. Your life is some what like may life with the acception of having a friend that I could talk to a few times a week, I don't have a pet. Nor friends I could go out with from time to time, When I was young my phone never stop ringing
I had so much to live for.
I missed those times. Your life is sweet enjoy

Now, at 90, I certainly feel alone. My husband died 3 years ago. We were together for 62 years. Even if I did remotely consider another partner, who could I find at this age? Thankfully for me, I am independent. I live alone and am able to take care of myself. I can drive. And that reminds me of the old joke that a man doesn't particularly like the woman, but she can drive. No thanks. I have outlived almost all of my friends. No one who is left is near me. Have only one friend and every now and then we go out to lunch. But she is not in good health, despite being 10 years younger than I am. I see a lot of advertising for these wonderful places that offer you independent or assisted living and promise a lot as well. So I visited two of them. The accommodations are very small and I would not be able to take anything of mine with me. They are also expensive. I am realistic and know that at my age there are not a lot of years left, but I think I will stay in my own home even though I am alone.

I have been going through similar situations at several times in my life. Am 84 now, and definitely made peace with being alone. I like it.
When I was younger, like your age, lol, it seemed society put pressure on me to find someone. Got a bit too fast into a relationship after a divorce, then marriage, but it worked out. After this husband passed, I was talked into going online to find what I called “camaraderie”, was missing outdoor activities my female friends weren’t into.
I wasn’t looking for anything permanent, but it turned out that way, and I am grateful for eight
very happy years.
My suggestion would be to keep an open mind, and do whatever feels right. No situation is perfect, being alone, or being with a partner.
Try just to enjoy your everyday activities, and trust your judgement.
In hindsight, I know my God looked out for me, and I trust that He will be there in the future, for me and for you too.
Take care. Let’s enjoy life!

My response was mainly directed to that 60 year old Texas guy, but guess lots of us have experienced similar situations. Have just read the other comments on the subject.

Thanks all, for the replies. Life keeps moving....lol. One thing on my mind lately: My brother and sister-in-law have been staying with me for a few months. She is going through chemo and he had heart surgery. So they were both unable to drive, walk the dog, and he even needed help showering for a month because he couldn't raise his hands above his shoulders. Got me to thinking... if I was either one of them, I would be in a world of hurt. They aren't THAT much older than me and I think they would have had a hard time without me here to help, without each other, I don't know how they would have made it through. I have no one to help in that situation so I guess I just don't take a shower or do laundry or anything for a couple of months?

That is one of the things that got me thinking I might need someone in addition to the companionship and all. But I can't afford some broke butt moving in just because I am afraid of getting sick...lol. Hopefully, some of the replies will help someone else... as for me, I will just keep plugging along on my own I guess.

@1942marilyne very true!

@brandysparks as someone on this thread has mentioned, being alone is not the same as being lonely. You could be in a roomful of people and still be lonely. Likewise, you could be married and still be lonely.

On the other hand, you could be alone yet not feel lonely. You are never lonely if you like your own company. That is not to say you shouldn’t go out and socialize, but if you are comfortable being alone with your own company at the end of the day don’t knock it.

From what you have described of your relationship, I get the sense your companion is already in that “married” mode where he doesn’t have to make an effort anymore. He has what he wants and is in his happy place already, tuning you out and seemingly unaware of your lack of companionship with him. You may want to think seriously whether you want this to become your status quo. If not, have a serious talk with him. If during this talk he still is tuned out (you will know!) you may need to make the difficult decision to end this relationship. Life is too short to waste on someone not invested in you emotionally.

Unfortunately even in this day and age society still seems to put pressure on people at least to be in a relationship, if not marriage, which should not be the case. Not everyone is meant to be married, and if you find yourself never married you shouldn’t have to question why. You can lead a very meaningful life without it - because you are enough!

@maggieingraz you have the right spirit and attitude! You have spent enough years putting other people’s needs ahead of your own and it definitely is time to live life your way, doing things that give you joy and fulfilment!