Starved for affection/attention

I lock our doors and turn on the alarm system at night, during the day when we are both inside and if I am outside working in the yard and can hear the alarm system. When we are outside the house, I have my husband carry a wallet with an apple tag so I can locate him if he gets away from me.

Many local police departments offer tracking systems to keep our loved ones safe. Someone recently told me that hospice can help with some issues if your LO has a terminal diagnosis.

Best of luck to you. It is a problem that we all face with you!

I don't mean this the wrong way. But I find that the worse life gets, the better my sense of humor needs to get. One day I could find myself homeless, without arms or legs, and that's when humor is what I choose! LOL!

I'm just wondering if there is something else going on...like embarrassment from your husband in that he feels he cannot "perform" any more...so avoids the whole situation because he is panic stricken.
Do you have children or friends that you can give a big hug to when they come over? I can be kind of manipulative I know but I would just avoid even trying with him but just act breezy and non-demanding. Chat and laugh, but no physical demands. Just be warm and affectionate with others-how about a pet? Take that pressure off--not easy because not being appreciated and loved is a very painful thing to deal with. Think about those of us who do care for you--even us at Mayo! Let us know how you are doing...

You get used to it. It has been so long for me since my hysband and I had any intimacy that the thought of it happening now sort of turns my stomach. I have been his caregiver going on year 15. Celibate the entire time with seperate bedrooms. I am more like his mother and have been in this role so long I barely remember our former life. Intimacy would almost feel rather incestuous. No thanks.

I am breezy and non-demanding now, but not at first. I do get more affection from our dog, and hugs from others. I have come to accept (kicking and screaming) that this is my new normal, and keep fond memories of our previous affectionate life close to my heart.

@judimahoney I miss the intimacy in our marriage but it's another one of those adjustments I've had to make and look at other things that give me joy and make me feel good. My hubby doesn't initiate any affection anymore so I do....like holding hands while laying in bed together and cuddling HIM (instead of him cuddling me) and he responds with a "mmm". I learned a long time ago not to ask for affection, but to just give it to him... like a quick kiss (even if only on the cheek) , a hug when passing by him or a squeeze of his hand when I can. He tends to respond in a positive way (even if its for only a second) each and every time and i'm not disappointed. I know that what works for some of us doesn't work for all of us and i pray that you find that human touch you desire with you loved one.

Someone who was a caregiver once wrote, “ I am not single, but I am alone.” These simple word speak to me. My husband has dementia due to AD .