Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?

Thank you for sharing your story.

I'm so glad you've joined this online support group. Even tho I go to monthly support groups in our town run by the country and one at the hospital facilitated by a social worker, it's nice to have someone to share insights with on a daily basis when needed.
My husband, 75, is probably in the middle of mid-stage ALZ and is still doing pretty well physically but has been unable to read or write for a few yearsbut recognizes me and our family and friends but can't remember our names and most objects. Speaking complete sentences is getting more difficult but he can stay alone for a couple hours at a time. I have great support from friends and family and am counting my blessings and trying to prepare for what I know lies ahead. Bless you all as you care for your loved ones the best way you know how.

My past situation was different from most as my husband was difficult from the beginning of our marriage so he ran his own life whether or not we liked it.
We were never able to care for him, and he lived in denial of everything until he died of metatastic cancer of the spine, paralyzed, and not speaking to me.
I am willing to share my efforts on situations beyond anyone's control based on my years of study and making a supreme effort to survive the bad events.
I like sharing my ideas that worked to make some days better, and I recommend prayer and faith to feel the protection needed to keep my self respect.
I didn't want a divorce although it was recommended by an Alzheimer's professional, and no facility would have been able to hold him safely. I want others to learn earlier in life how to better prepare for our later years regardless of the mental health conditions that seem to decline as we age. There is no one way or normal policy for dealing with the problems that can arise. You are fortunate if your husband is cooperative in nature. That is a blessing. Dorisena

Scott, for my personal education I am interested in learning more about the possible association of cancer with dementia, if it is being studied. I know that Diabetes is now being studied as a precursor or in association with Alzheimer's and some doctors refer to Alzheimer's as Diabetes III. There must be a connection as my husband had both Diabetes which he refused to treat, and prostate cancer, which he did not continue to treat, and ended up with a tumor wrapped around his spine which killed him. It is difficult to say when the dementia first surfaced because his personality was so obstinate and uncooperative.
I can say I lived through the whole 50-year experience and after 13 years still do not have the strength to write it all down for study. But I care so much.
Dorisena

I wonder if all the meds that many people take for their illnesses, including cancer and depression, are a large part of the reason for the dementia that develops.

Perhaps when people decide to get married they should be reminded during any pre-marital counseliing that they might someday have to deal with the reality of "in sickness and in health". A marriage will have lots of challenges over the years, and especially as we age and get sick mentally, physically and financially. We need God's guidance, peace and comfort in this hard journey. And He uses each of us to support our friends along the way.

HELP !! I have a brother diagnosed with schizophrenia , in denial for 40 years now. He went through college, grad school, and law school; practiced law for 30 years. Lived in a pig-sty, lived off credit cards, didn't pay taxes. etc etc We have picked up the pieces endlessly, paid back taxes and credit cards. Now "retired," he is only getting worse. We support him, and in return he is abusive (verbally). Made himself diabetic through terrible eating habits. Now he is becoming physically impaired as well as mentally. We are now older and just can't take it anymore. Another close relative tells us that taking care of him beyond financially (no matter how bad it gets), is a "test from God." It seems to me that a man who has 3 advanced academic degrees and (however badly) practiced law for 30 years, has some responsibility for himself. Any opinions or suggestions will be welcome.

Hello @dorisena nice to e-meet you here on Mayo Connect.. I am sad to read about the challenges you faced with your husband's dementia. It must have made being his caregiver even more difficult.

I do not know of any documented connection between cancer and dementia, In my wife's case it was brain cancer and the fact the tumor destroyed her brain causing her dementia-like symptoms.

Likewise I have never seen anything linking diabetes with Alzheimer's disease, but I guess anything is possible. It seems to me, as a non-medical professional, that one being in the brain and the other being a failure of the pancreas, they wouldn't intersect.

What have you read and learned about this? I'm interested to know.

Some doctors won't tell you that diabetes can cause other problems. It is associated with hearing loss, blindness, obesity, and, worst of all dementia. It can destroy the brain. It is linked to hoarding, loss of smell, and other peculiar behaviors. You can predict the disease in some people. Today doctors use a scale and measure people's waist for one sign. Responsibility is a good word to use in the conversation. I tried hard to not enable my late husband with his poor choices. learn what that word means in your life. Dorisena

Hi @leeandpat Interesting idea. I can only say from my wife's experience that her dementia-like symptoms came from the cancer destroying her brain and not the many meds she was on -- and she was on a bunch, but there was no mistaking the damage done to her was a result of the cancer's destructive properties.

On the other hand my MIL never took more than an aspirin and developed dementia.

Hopefully medical science will continue to work to find the reason or reasons behind this terrible disease.