Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Hello! My name is Monica and since August (my mother passed away), I'm the primary caregiver to my 86yo father. Life as I know it has changed. I've been able to set aside many of the feelings that have surfaced because I recently sold their home and am now in the final stages of getting everything cleared out. Today I've experienced so many emotions. I've not choice but to feel my feelings because they will come out sideways.
Blessings to all! I look forward in getting to know your stories.

Hello @soberhoumom Nice to have you here chatting about the challenges of being a caregiver! I am Scott and I was my wife's caregiver for 14+ years during her war with brain cancer. I also lost both my parents during those years.

You are so very correct in saying 'life as I know it has changed'. Loss, grief, and caregiving all carry huge amounts of change to our lives. LIfe is now different as we cope with each of these difficult areas of our lives. I entered being a caregiver as one person and became another. So much changed and along with those changes intense feelings of all kinds of different emotions!

One of the changes I noticed most was my inability to manage my emotions. I wore them on my sleeve so much more than I ever had before -- and still do. Our grandsons kid me about not being able to watch any Disney movie without crying these days -- and they are 100% correct!

It must have been tough going through your folks home.

Strength, courage, and peace!

Welcome @soberhoumom We’re an online community that shares experiences, stories and helpful advice about our shared health journeys. We’re not doctors so we can’t give medical advice, just suggestions based on our own experiences. We’re you also your mother’s caregiver? It must have been so difficult for you and your father when she died. What have you done to be able to cope with all theses changes in your life?

My name is Arlene. I am 86+ and the caretaker for my husband Jim who is 87.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am grateful to have found yall.
My parents lived in their home over 40 years. There were boxes of photos that my mom had started going through. There were also bills, paperwork, expired credit cards, and every greeting card my dad had gotten since 1979. I have sworn I would not do this same thing to my children.
I'm sorry to ramble.

Hi - thank you for the invite. I'm new to the Mayo Clinic Connect and very curious to see how it all works - I used virtual communication a great deal during my work and appreciate the opportunity to cross geographic boundaries! I joined the Mayo Clinic Connect with the specific goal of exploring solutions to a physical problem my husband experiences each night -- he has profuse sweating on the upper right side of his body. None of our local specialists have been able to identify a cause or provide solutions... I'm hopeful someone may have ideas for us to try....

It is a great added benefit to be able to participate in this care giver group. My husband was diagnosed with dementia in the spring of 2014 -- I had noticed many changes before the actual diagnosis and was able to transition from my career into full-time care giver status by November of that year. With 30+ years together, it has been a blessing to be able to be here with him on this difficult journey. At the same time, I know that I have never faced as great or as many challenges on a daily basis. Each step has involved a tremendously steep learning curve -- I look forward to hearing from each of you and sharing my experiences.
Best regards

Hello. My name is Debbie. My husband had a heart transplant on September 12, 2019 at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. While I am so grateful for his new heart, I’m struggling with our life changes. There’s a battle within me knowing on one hand it’s an absolute miracle what has happened in his life, on the other hand I have been his caregiver for years and feel like time is passing me by. This is not even close to the retirement I envisioned for us. I love him with all my heart and I don’t want to move on without him. I just feel stuck.

I am getting ready to start my journey for caring for my husband who is on the heart transplant list at Mayo Florida campus. We are both scared for what the future will bring into our lives in the next year. He is 73 and we are or were very active until the COVID outbreak. It would be nice to know someone who is getting close to the one year Transplant anniversary and talk about what to expect. He is millirone and would like to know if your husband was on this waiting for his transplant.

Hi Coleen-
Thank you Coleen for moderating this group, and thank you all for your participation.
A little about our "journey"....
When I was much younger, I watched in amazement as my father cared for my mother, who struggled with diabetes for 15 years, until she finally passed. I always was so sadenned by my mothers struggle with her illness that I guess it never dawned on me that the disease took its toll on my father as well. He never once complained!
Now, I find myself caring for my own wife of 53 years, who now has stage IV lung cancer. It may sound strange but her disease has pulled us closer together! We now hold each other more, while all the time dreading the thought of being separated! I guess, over 53 years of marriage we tend to take our lives together for granted.
I find myself absorbed in reading everything I can about cancer, particularly lung cancer. Our friends have also drawn closer, and have added that special touch of prayers and compassion.
Our journey has also strengthened our faith in God! We believe He has taken us down this path in our journey here on earth for a reason, and we can only accept it and try to make the best of it. One of our friends gave us a hand crafted sign that says "One day at a time". He is a recovering alcoholic, and says this sign given to him from a friend some 36 years ago, helped him get through some very difficult times with his disease. We now have that sign in the window of our sitting room where each morning and evening we look out onto our beautiful scape and remind ourselves that we will take in the day/night "One day at a time".
Yes, care giving is demanding and at times stressful. But it is rewarding to know that our journey has brought us closer together. Take a break from it now and then to recharge. But accept it as a God given gift that you are there to help your loved one.
I want to pause to thank the special people-doctors, nurses, students, and staff at Mayo Clinic. Without you and your dedication, my wife would not be here today. We were headed down a very dark path, relying upon local medical services, and that all changed when we turned to Mayo Clinic in Rochester - some 15 months ago. The clinical approach alone is so much more effective, speak nothing of the exceptional doctors and staff. We had spent 15 months with tests/procedures and even an unnecessary surgery trying to determine what was causing the pneumonias. When we finally turned to Mayo, it took less than two weeks to get the diagnosis and resultant surgery behind us.