Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Posted by Colleen Young, Connect Director @colleenyoung, Aug 27, 2016

Welcome to the Caregivers group on Mayo Clinic Connect.
Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it is also very demanding and can be isolating. Let's use this space to connect with other caregivers, share experiences, talk frankly about the tough stuff without judgement and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.

I'm Colleen, and I'm the moderator of this group, and Community Director of Connect. I look forwarding to welcoming you and introducing you to other members. Feel free to browse the topics or start a new one.

Grab a cup of tea, or beverage of you choice, and let's chat. Why not start by introducing yourself?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Nov 23, 2019

In reply to @talie "I’m looking for a memory care facility using lots of different resources—digital and company services. I..." + (show)

@talie Good morning. What an awful decision you’re having to make. Have you checked your states ratings list? They are required to teach all facilities to make sure they meet Medicare standards. Also check Healthgrades—they also follow doctors and facilities. I also suggest talking to the folks at the Area Agency on Aging in your town. Years ago I worked as a nurse in a nursing home. It wasn't perfect but the patients all got great care. I certainly hope you find something and feel ok with what you find.

Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Nov 23, 2019

In reply to @talie "I’m looking for a memory care facility using lots of different resources—digital and company services. I..." + (show)

Hi @talie When I looked into this in our local area I first went to our local hospice organizations and had conversations with the staff there. In our case I found they had no axe to grind, no financial interest in one place over another, and they really had a solid 'inside scoop' if you will since they were friends, colleagues, or past colleagues of many of the staff at the places.

Wishing you strength, courage, and peace!

talie | @talie | Nov 23, 2019

In reply to @becsbuddy "@talie Good morning. What an awful decision you’re having to make. Have you checked your states..." + (show)

Very, very helpful. I will follow through on your advice. Do you by any chance know anything about Senior Services of America. They have a facility in Gig Harbor, Wa, I’ve toured and researched and am getting such conflicting reports that I feel like my head is spinning. I will look them up on Healthgrades but any help anyone can give would be much appreciated. I have looked them up on my state’s DSHS website.
Talie

kathymcl | @kathymcl | Dec 6, 2019

In reply to @colleenyoung "Hi everyone, As the number of discussions related to caregiving increase, it was time to open..." + (show)

CV0

Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Dec 9, 2019

In reply to @kathymcl "CV0" + (show)

Hi @kathymcl, It looks like your message got cut off. How are you doing?

kathymcl | @kathymcl | Dec 9, 2019

In reply to @colleenyoung "Hi @kathymcl, It looks like your message got cut off. How are you doing?" + (show)

I’m actually feeling a tad overwhelmed. Mom’s dementia was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She seemed to take a turn for the worse in October and since the beginning of November has really crashed it seems. Home Care was giving her 30 minutes 2x/week for a morning shower. I took her to Emerg one day last week and they did what’s called a GEM (Geriatric Emergency Management) Assessment and the doc and nurse said both she and I need more support. I called the home care people to assess her again and they have now agreed to 30 min each a.m. and each p.m. 7 days a week for showering, dressing, hearing aids, putting her compression stockings on. They also told me that she is now considered what they call here in Canada as a ‘crisis placement’ which means she is eligible for a top of the list position in a long term care facility. I haven’t told her that my husband and I have been running around looking at different places to figure out a short list to take her to see as yet. She and I are heading to Mexico mid-January where she will stay for 3 weeks with another family member bringing her back home. My husband and I return to Canada on April 4. We found her current Senior’s Residence the same way. We picked 9, short-listed down to 3 and that’s where she has been for the last couple of years. The only thing is we are feeling a bit misled with the current place as we asked at the time whether she could stay through ‘end of life’ management. They had told us yes, but it turns it they don’t have a locked floor; you just pay them privately for personal care on top of her already pricey monthly fee, so it’s an a la cart menu; e.g. if they have to remind her it’s mealtime, that costs $8.75 plus tax which includes bringing her down and returning her to her suite after each meal, etc etc; medication giving costs $240/month but more if she doesn’t come to the nurse’s station to receive, rather than them come to her. We are going to suck up whatever extra costs are involved till we come back in April.. I don’t want to see her put into a new place and me not be there to support her as I currently spend 3 or 4 days a week with her and she is depending on me more and more. It is just hard watching this once independent vital 90 year-old, once vital and independent woman not be able to find words, not remember names, looking so frail, having incontinence issues, lose so much cognition.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Dec 9, 2019

In reply to @talie "I’m looking for a memory care facility using lots of different resources—digital and company services. I..." + (show)

@talie I’m just following up to see how you’ve been doing. What do you think of the places that you’ve been looking at? Have you found anywhere that you are at least 90% confident about? I’m thinking of both you and your husband. Becky

Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Dec 9, 2019

In reply to @kathymcl "I’m actually feeling a tad overwhelmed. Mom’s dementia was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She seemed to..." + (show)

@kathymcl

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@kathymcl and @talie, I encourage you both to follow and post in the new group dedicated to caregivers caring for someone living with dementia. Here's the link:
- Caregivers: Dementia https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers-dementia/

Kathy, some of the situations with long-term care and the various definitions of care homes that you are describing my aunt in Canada (Ontario) also experienced. It is such a maze to figure out. Have you contacted the Alzheimer's Society of Canada? https://alzheimer.ca/en/Home
They were so helpful with my aunt.