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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Welcome to the Caregivers group on Mayo Clinic Connect.
Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it is also very demanding and can be isolating. Let's use this space to connect with other caregivers, share experiences, talk frankly about the tough stuff without judgement and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.
I'm Colleen, and I'm the moderator of this group, and Community Director of Connect. I look forwarding to welcoming you and introducing you to other members. Feel free to browse the topics or start a new one.
Grab a cup of tea, or beverage of you choice, and let's chat. Why not start by introducing yourself?
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Thank you....for just being here. As for the knees......I have both replace....10 years apart, because of lack of time, and no to care for me. My hands are now painful and my wrist.......I was told I need a shot on both my wrist......might help for a few months... but have cancel my doctors appt. three times already. Time will tell, if I can on longer. God Bless you, for your big heartfelt reply!
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2 ReactionsThank you. I need to be able to share my concerns with people in the same siruation. While we are not married I have been his partner for 30 years and am his ptimary caregiver. Is it better to agree wifth him when he says he has done something in the past or just agree eith him? He can get angry whem I try to explain that something is not possible.
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2 ReactionsMy situation is much the same as yours. My husband also had a shunt inserted for hydrocephalus and it did not improve his memory issues either. He is now diagnosed with alzheimers. I see the deterioration and have no idea how to deal with some of the issues we are facing. I am so grateful to have found this group.
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1 ReactionHi @traveler17. What can I say? Caregiving is such an incredibly demanding role and one none of us are ready or prepared for. Especially us family member caregivers. Try and remember there are many of us here. We have experienced much in our caregiving roles. We have had good days and bad. We have handled some chores with aplomb, some with little grace and some looking like one of The Three Stooges. But we have had many experiences and can offer ideas, support, and suggestions. No question is too small, insignificant, or irrelevant to ask here! In the 14+ years as my wife's primary caregiver (brain cancer) I had to deal with a huge variety of issues. Physical, emotional, family, conflict, etc. So know were are here, we do not judge!
Peace, strength, and courage!
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1 ReactionDo neither if neither is true. With my sister we just smile and nod when she says something untrue. If outsiders are in the conversation I say something like "I don't remember it that way. I remember ..." and that usually gets her either quiet or she picks up from what I said. Example; she was telling the story of selling her house on the very first day it was on the market (which she did not do). I said, I don't remember that but I do remember the man who came up to the door in the middle of the current snow storm to inquire about buying the house. Oh yes, she said and proceeded to say what I said in her own words and then dropped it. Several years ago on this post someone gave the 6 magic words to diffuse the anger of a dementia patient. They are "I was only trying to help". They have worked every time for me in these past 4 years with my sister.
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2 ReactionsHi traveler17:
Oh how hard some days can be with the memory thing especially when the patient does not realize what is and what isn't? I have learned over the years not to correct what I know to be true, rather just go on with a conversation that might not be right for you but
is very right for the patient. My energy must be spent doing the care that is necessary and some days I just don't have the strength
to do anything other than agree with all that is said. In the end, it really doesn't matter and sometimes trying to explain just doesn't
work for me or him. Memory is very tricky also, sometimes I think he doesn't know what I am talking about and then the memory
pops in and I am very surprised that he is thinking about something that I thought had left him long ago, Anyway, it is a challenge
to stay on top of the caring thing with all one has to do. Bless you for your loving spirit. OZYS
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2 ReactionsI do appreciate your support. We are going on a cruise where we will be seated at dinner with people we do not know. Any suggestions on how to handle it when he interrupts and comes up with statements that are simply not true? I dont want him to be embarassed or burt if possible. Any suggestions would be so gratreful.
Traveler17, how well I can relate to your situation We will make it through this because we love those for whom we are caring so very much. Sometimes I want the world to stop so I can get off ur then I realize how much he needs me or perhaps how much I hope he needs me. Hard to tell sometimes.
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2 ReactionsHi traveler17,
Last year I took a course through the Alzheimer's Association for caregivers. They handed out a card to each of us, like a business card, on it was a statement explaining your "love ones" condition, which let other person know that their behavior would be a little "off". You could write your own on card stock or even printer paper with your computer. The one they passed out says, "My loved one has Alzheimer's disease (memory loss) and is sometimes confused. Thank you for your patience and understanding."
Good luck!!
@tntredhead This is a difficult situation. Blessings and prayers go out for you!