Survivors of toxic relationship with a Narcissist: Let's Connect

@gardenchef - Wow! Thank you so much for the thought & effort it took to make these available to us.

Unless I missed it, where did you find these helpful suggestions?

I also have to wonder how to protect oneself from the often dismissive, scoffing, belittling tones, and the nasty-chuckling that a narcissist can produce in response to someone trying to set boundaries and enter into a calm, "adult" discussion with them - especially when they (the narcissist) have absolutely NO INTEREST in giving any weight or validity to another's experience or ideas...which pretty much defines narcissists in general.

The belittling, and/or the knowledge (from past experience) that the belittling will likely accompany any attempt to suggest a different approach to something - is daunting. And the narcissists of whom I speak were expert at this.

I have much more (unfortunately) in the way of experience to share regarding growing up with narcissist parents, but I think one way to help each other is to share ways that have shown some success in interacting with these types of humans.

Also, though I haven't listened in for any duration for a while to his YouTube videos, I would like to heartily suggest checking out Jay Reid's series on Narcissism. http://www.jreidtherapy.com - I found his information a few years ago, and then began receiving links to his videos. Unless something has changed, this information is freely shared, and has been extremely helpful to me in the most basic way - putting into words what is commonly experienced by those of us having to grow up &/or live with narcissitic family members.

Seeing shared experiences in words, concise words that are so descriptive of the fundamental ways narcissists attack and the damage they create, coming from a psychotherapist (he's based out of the S.F. area), has gotten me through some tough times. Unfortunately, the pain of the lifelong experience of being around narcissists remains, and I find myself struggling with all of this in much deeper ways than I would have ever imagined at this late (mid-60s) stage of my life.

Still seeking a therapist experienced in helping Adult Children of Narcissists get beyond this prison before there is no longer any more time left. And, though this can lead to more anger than I care to unleash here, I do need to share how fundamentally it absolutely GALLS me that there is no accountability for this narcissistic behavior and the lives it has ruined. This places the burden on those of us who have lived it to try to ignore or reconcile this behavior, neither of which I'm sure are recommended for survivors (so far) of emotional abuse.

Welcome stories, additional links and shared strategies. Best to all who unfortunately find themselves in these situations, esp. if it is a family member, and they are in denial (of anything psychological), and thus unavailable for any hope of resolution.

After 25 years of mental and done physical abuse from my stepdaughter my nervous system broke down and all of a sudden I started passing out and my BP was fluctuating like crazy. I’ve been treated by my GP, ENT, Cardiologist, Pulmonologist, Psychiatrist and Rheumatologist and now I’m getting ketamine infusion and have lost around 30 pounds in less then two months and can barely consume 300 calories a day. I too cannot shake this. I think I’m beyond help. My husband still has her coming to our home every holiday and two months in the summer . I can’t take it anymore. I also inflict self harm and my husband thinks I should just get over this.

Hello @clregan2528

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having with your stepdaughter. Since you say that this has been going on for 25 years, I'm assuming that the stepdaughter is an adult. Has her behavior gotten worse over the years or stayed the same? What is her age?

I see that you are being treated by a number of medical professionals. Are you also seeing a therapist? A therapist might be able to give you some ideas for dealing with this abuse. I would strongly encourage you, on a regular basis, to consider getting involved in talk-therapy with a good therapist.

Can you think about this?

Hello @clregan2528

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having with your stepdaughter. Since you say that this has been going on for 25 years, I'm assuming that the stepdaughter is an adult. Has her behavior gotten worse over the years or stayed the same? What is her age?

I see that you are being treated by a number of medical professionals. Are you also seeing a therapist? A therapist might be able to give you some ideas for dealing with this abuse. I would strongly encourage you, on a regular basis, to consider getting involved in talk-therapy with a good therapist.

Can you think about this?