Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@bunnybear

@bjk3 :You are amazing!

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Good Morning, @bunnybear ~
Gosh, your comment makes me feel loved and appreciated -- thank you so much. The credit, though, really belongs to my PT and OT team. My PT stays up nights thinking about new therapies to try, adding to her incredible repertoire of remedies, healing techniques and searches for repairing/improving/helping with healing the human body. She, like my chiropractor and me, credit God for all the healing. We consider our efforts to be that which He uses or does not use toward the outcome we're looking to attain.
So my team including God deserves thanks for their spirit of moving forward and determining how best to capture the goal(s) we've identified. I'm just trying to cooperate!
All the very best to you ~
Barb

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@edsutton

Well, darn, last Saturday I moved a washing machine and and then did heavy weed whacking in the woods, managing to aggravate a bulging disc in my lumbar spine.
Awful pain in the back and sciatica down the leg, paralyzing pain.
Clearly I needed a reminder of what pain is like. (And it is frightening to think what it might be like if the pain was chronic.)
I spent Sunday moving as little as possible, with no improvement. Heating pads provided relief, as long as I didn't move.
This morning I remembered a little book: "Treat Your Own Back" by Robin McKenzie. On my bookshelf, and used successfully for injuries past. Duh.
I did the basic "back bend" exercise and things began to improve. Two hours and several exercises later, I'm able to do most daily movements and the pain is relenting.
McKenzie was a physical therapist who wrote several little books about self-treatment exercises for knee, neck, shoulder, hip and back pain. These are not radical treatments. They are now part of most physical therapists healing repertoire.
I mention them because for many of us occasional self-injuries are part of our lives, and these books have really helped me. Years ago I would have been in pain for a week or more.
Muscle and joint pain is a common part of aging.
Whatever our methods, we need to have some healing exercises that we know can help.
And remember them when needed!

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Hi Ed -
Do you know, I have overdone so many times and paid the price, I now recognize that the 7 deadliest words to be used to justify how much I can get done in this stage of life are: "because I've always done it this way".

Here's to feeling much better sooner than later!
Barb

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@ray666

Good morning!

I hope you don’t mind me joining this conversation late. The topic caught my eye as my partner and I are in the early stages of refitting my house so that we can age in place. Naturally, she and I want to do the refitting with sound advice from others who’ve done this before us.

I note that this topic was created only this past April and has already attracted close to 200 replies. As I’m crashing the party a tad late, I’ll begin by reading what others have said before jumping in with my thoughts and questions.

Cheers to you all!
Ray (@ray666)

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Good Morning, Ray!
So glad you're joining the conversation - you always have good things to add, ideas to try, and a positive outlook. And to use a word not often seen these days, your messages are delivered with a such a sense of mirth and good humor.
Cheers!
Barb

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@bjk3

Good Morning, Ray!
So glad you're joining the conversation - you always have good things to add, ideas to try, and a positive outlook. And to use a word not often seen these days, your messages are delivered with a such a sense of mirth and good humor.
Cheers!
Barb

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Thanks, Barb!

Without mirth and humor, I'd be lost––like a guy trying to get through life following a Dollar Store GPS.

Cheers to you, too, Barb!
Ray (@ray666)

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O.K., here's my chance to learn.
I've had this back injury before, so if I bother to remember, I know what to expect and how to cope with it. It could be a practice session for coping with something more serious.
Here are some parameters, positive and negative:
-The McKenzie exercises can reduce the pain significantly.
-Standing and not bending is virtually pain free.
-Sitting in a stiff chair with a forward tilting seat is pain free, and does not reaggravate the bulging disc. (Albeit it isn't very comfortable for long.)
-Sitting in a soft chair is very comfortable...until I try to get up...youch! Very bad.
-Sitting in the car is off limits. (I had to ask my wife to go to the grocery, usually my job.)
-Picking things up off the floor is not an option, but we have reaching tools from my wife's surgical recovery, and Hazel is pretty good at picking up things on command. If you don't mind a little bit of dog saliva it's fun for both of us.

So, shop work and cooking (standing) is possible. But that bottom freezer really needs to go. With one arm on the counter I can manage the dishwasher.
15 minute sessions at the computer or harpsichord are possible.
Watching TV is not so comfortable without my soft slouch chair.
Clearing brush in the woods is not for now.

I'm embarrassed to admit how fragile my mood can be. Pain and negative memories seem to go hand-in-hand. I'm really good at feeling lonely and sorry for myself! This has less to do with actual pain (which I can mostly control) than with the feeling that I'm hedged in by the possibility of pain.
I walk around a lot, not sure what to do.
Maybe this:
A simple Here/Now walking/breathing meditation. Walk slowly. Think "Here" as you breathe in and "Now" as you breathe out....(Thich Nhat Hanh "The Long Road Turns to Joy" p. 38)

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@edsutton

O.K., here's my chance to learn.
I've had this back injury before, so if I bother to remember, I know what to expect and how to cope with it. It could be a practice session for coping with something more serious.
Here are some parameters, positive and negative:
-The McKenzie exercises can reduce the pain significantly.
-Standing and not bending is virtually pain free.
-Sitting in a stiff chair with a forward tilting seat is pain free, and does not reaggravate the bulging disc. (Albeit it isn't very comfortable for long.)
-Sitting in a soft chair is very comfortable...until I try to get up...youch! Very bad.
-Sitting in the car is off limits. (I had to ask my wife to go to the grocery, usually my job.)
-Picking things up off the floor is not an option, but we have reaching tools from my wife's surgical recovery, and Hazel is pretty good at picking up things on command. If you don't mind a little bit of dog saliva it's fun for both of us.

So, shop work and cooking (standing) is possible. But that bottom freezer really needs to go. With one arm on the counter I can manage the dishwasher.
15 minute sessions at the computer or harpsichord are possible.
Watching TV is not so comfortable without my soft slouch chair.
Clearing brush in the woods is not for now.

I'm embarrassed to admit how fragile my mood can be. Pain and negative memories seem to go hand-in-hand. I'm really good at feeling lonely and sorry for myself! This has less to do with actual pain (which I can mostly control) than with the feeling that I'm hedged in by the possibility of pain.
I walk around a lot, not sure what to do.
Maybe this:
A simple Here/Now walking/breathing meditation. Walk slowly. Think "Here" as you breathe in and "Now" as you breathe out....(Thich Nhat Hanh "The Long Road Turns to Joy" p. 38)

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Ed, even when you aren’t feeling well, you leave us with tips. Thank you, and I wish you a speedy recovery! Cindy

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@edsutton

Well, darn, last Saturday I moved a washing machine and and then did heavy weed whacking in the woods, managing to aggravate a bulging disc in my lumbar spine.
Awful pain in the back and sciatica down the leg, paralyzing pain.
Clearly I needed a reminder of what pain is like. (And it is frightening to think what it might be like if the pain was chronic.)
I spent Sunday moving as little as possible, with no improvement. Heating pads provided relief, as long as I didn't move.
This morning I remembered a little book: "Treat Your Own Back" by Robin McKenzie. On my bookshelf, and used successfully for injuries past. Duh.
I did the basic "back bend" exercise and things began to improve. Two hours and several exercises later, I'm able to do most daily movements and the pain is relenting.
McKenzie was a physical therapist who wrote several little books about self-treatment exercises for knee, neck, shoulder, hip and back pain. These are not radical treatments. They are now part of most physical therapists healing repertoire.
I mention them because for many of us occasional self-injuries are part of our lives, and these books have really helped me. Years ago I would have been in pain for a week or more.
Muscle and joint pain is a common part of aging.
Whatever our methods, we need to have some healing exercises that we know can help.
And remember them when needed!

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@edsutton -- Think we all would be wise to rccall the words of the old philosopher... Dirty Harry: "a man's gotta know his limitations."

Also applicable to women, I think.

(I confess I've overdone things many times and regretted it later... so I'm really no one to be preaching on this here.)

/LarryG

REPLY
@edsutton

O.K., here's my chance to learn.
I've had this back injury before, so if I bother to remember, I know what to expect and how to cope with it. It could be a practice session for coping with something more serious.
Here are some parameters, positive and negative:
-The McKenzie exercises can reduce the pain significantly.
-Standing and not bending is virtually pain free.
-Sitting in a stiff chair with a forward tilting seat is pain free, and does not reaggravate the bulging disc. (Albeit it isn't very comfortable for long.)
-Sitting in a soft chair is very comfortable...until I try to get up...youch! Very bad.
-Sitting in the car is off limits. (I had to ask my wife to go to the grocery, usually my job.)
-Picking things up off the floor is not an option, but we have reaching tools from my wife's surgical recovery, and Hazel is pretty good at picking up things on command. If you don't mind a little bit of dog saliva it's fun for both of us.

So, shop work and cooking (standing) is possible. But that bottom freezer really needs to go. With one arm on the counter I can manage the dishwasher.
15 minute sessions at the computer or harpsichord are possible.
Watching TV is not so comfortable without my soft slouch chair.
Clearing brush in the woods is not for now.

I'm embarrassed to admit how fragile my mood can be. Pain and negative memories seem to go hand-in-hand. I'm really good at feeling lonely and sorry for myself! This has less to do with actual pain (which I can mostly control) than with the feeling that I'm hedged in by the possibility of pain.
I walk around a lot, not sure what to do.
Maybe this:
A simple Here/Now walking/breathing meditation. Walk slowly. Think "Here" as you breathe in and "Now" as you breathe out....(Thich Nhat Hanh "The Long Road Turns to Joy" p. 38)

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I'm a cherry-picker. In almost every post, I'll find something that has me smile and say, "Aha, so you, too!" This morning you said something, Ed (@edsutton), that hit me like a sledge. When you wrote …

"I'm embarrassed to admit how fragile my mood can be. Pain and negative memories seem to go hand-in-hand. I'm really good at feeling lonely and sorry for myself! This has less to do with actual pain (which I can mostly control) than with the feeling that I'm hedged in by the possibility of pain."

… I had no choice but to sit quietly for a few moments and consider your words. Because of my daytime nature, people often tell me, "Ray, you're such a happy guy," leaving me thinking, "If only you knew …"

Years of experience—learning my personal pain's tricks of the trade—have taught me ways of sublimating my pain, not denying its presence but reducing it to a momentary nonentity.

Thank you, Ed, for your words this morning. I hope we cross trails again soon.

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

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Hello, Everybody-
I'm healing and am virtually pain free if I stay within my limits.
Having to focus on light weight tasks enabled me to get an extended, detailed project finished in one day.
When I started this discussion I thought we'd mostly talk about various preparatory actions, projects, designs, home modifications, and such, i.e. "Make it, fix it or do it and it'll be done and you'll be ready to age in place."
That's very good, but it's probably less than half of the reality we must face, not just as we age, but for all of our lives.
We need to be prepared for the unexpected, we need to expect it, and we need to have ways to manage our attitudes and feelings as we encounter it. We need to not feel like weak, elderly victims!
If you read over the posts throughout the Aging Well discussions you'll see how often the attitude is a major part of the problem and its solution.
So often the unexpected is fun, helpful, kind, beautiful, generous, and so on. But when I hear "The Unexpected" something inside me assumes it will be mean and bigger than me.
I'll try to do a better job of noticing how many lovely things are unexpected this week. That might make a big difference.

REPLY
@edsutton

Hello, Everybody-
I'm healing and am virtually pain free if I stay within my limits.
Having to focus on light weight tasks enabled me to get an extended, detailed project finished in one day.
When I started this discussion I thought we'd mostly talk about various preparatory actions, projects, designs, home modifications, and such, i.e. "Make it, fix it or do it and it'll be done and you'll be ready to age in place."
That's very good, but it's probably less than half of the reality we must face, not just as we age, but for all of our lives.
We need to be prepared for the unexpected, we need to expect it, and we need to have ways to manage our attitudes and feelings as we encounter it. We need to not feel like weak, elderly victims!
If you read over the posts throughout the Aging Well discussions you'll see how often the attitude is a major part of the problem and its solution.
So often the unexpected is fun, helpful, kind, beautiful, generous, and so on. But when I hear "The Unexpected" something inside me assumes it will be mean and bigger than me.
I'll try to do a better job of noticing how many lovely things are unexpected this week. That might make a big difference.

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The "lovely unexpected" snuck up on me yesterday. A young man (~35-ish) who lives across the street, came over and hung a planter up for me. Now I have colorful flowers hanging on my front porch. After sharing about his soon-to-transpire bicycle ride from Seattle to Portland in one day (200+ miles), I asked him to air up the tires on my recumbent tricycle, so I can once again use it for exercise. (The beauty of a tricycle is that when you stop, you can't tip over.) I haven't ridden it for months; now I have no more excuse. I much enjoyed his very pleasant visit.

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