Preparing to Age in Place

A wonderful thing happened on Mother's Day! My wife asked to go to the plant nursery.
We looked at plants, talked with the horticulturist about certain plants she wants to grow in our yard, and came home with some plants and plans.

Background: My wife has been ill with overlapping illnesses for several years, lapsing into a deep depression and gradually losing the ability to garden, which was something she enjoyed a lot.
After 3 surgeries over the last 3 years, cancer is gone and there has been a miraculous relief of the pain from her trigeminal neuralgia. The depression is lifting. She's begun taking short walks and her visual/balance therapist said she could begin driving her car.

In our community the houses have very small perimeter lots. With forethought the gardening can be not too heavy for two old geezers.

What is wonderful is that my wife is planning some new native plants which will take 3 years to establish. This is a person who was struggling to make it through the day and had given up much long term hopes.

To age well in place, we really need some sense of a future we are planning for our home, something we care about and want to give from our life energies. Planting a new garden is an expression of hope for our home. It's a plan for future life.

Watch people select and buy plants. When they've found their plants, the approach the checkout with calm, almost secret smiles.
That is a good way to age.

I read your post with a smile on my face. I am a long-time UofM Volunteer Master Gardener who has seen this time and again - my Mom had her final garden - a window garden - in her last years in assisted living.
Tomorrow is the first day of our plant sale at the local County fairgrounds - my second most favorite day of the year (my first is the day we uncover our little pond in the backyard.) Each year we assist MANY older and physically challenged people in selecting their plants, and listen to stories of lovely, sometimes huge, gardens they have raised. Today I told someone this is my 64th year of being responsible for a garden - going all the way back to when my sister and I tended our family vegetable patch under the watchful eye of my great uncle, who taught us how to weed and prune, when and how to pick, and spoiled us with forbidden sweets from the corner store.
Planting gardens, especially natives, is indeed an act of faith in the future! Happy planting to the two of you.
Sue

Yesterday I shipped a clavichord (my first keyboard instrument) to its new home.
45 years ago this instrument was the center of my musical hopes and dreams, a dream come true after many years. I played it daily for 8 years, then moved on to piano and harpsichord.
Then it sat unplayed for over 35 years, usually tucked under a bed. Whenever I took it out I was moved by its beauty and meaning to me, but I didn't play it. It didn't speak to me as an active instrument, just as a memory.
I still feel a little short of breath, remembering it, and remembering the hopes that it represented, some of which have come true on its successor instruments...some may still come true.
It's new owner makes YouTube videos, so perhaps I'll see it again, making music.
But this has not been an easy one to let go.

Hi Scott. I agree with all of your variables and I live by them. Funny, I never really gave aging much thought until after I turned 80. That's when I began telling myself, if I'm lucky, I may have 20 years left to go. Or even 25 years.

I went through treatment for cancer 10 years ago and the treatment has done my body a lot of harm. Right now I'm battling peripheral neuropathy and walking can some days be a challenge. Your list hits home and I am careful not to fall or slip. I also just started physical therapy and I hope (believe) that will help me live a more pain free life. Right now I am just concentrating on being able to go for a walk. Hope is my motivator. Best to you, CB

Kudos to both you and your wife. You two are a huge inspiration and a loving, loyal example of how important it is to never lose HOPE. And gardening, in my eyes, is a selfless way to share love and beauty in your home and community. Faith, lives! CB

PT can work wonders.
I think the most important factor is attitude -- and yours is excellent!

Wow, thank you, Scott. That's a wonderful compliment.

Last night my wife informed me that today we will do weeding in the front garden.
I'm up early to get a little bit of work done in the shop before our weeding together time.
Hey, taking care of things together is an important skill for aging well in place!
(I'm serious. We can get better at this! And I can learn more about plants.)

@edsutton -- Hey, Ed. Enjoyed your post.

Also a musician / vocalist. Need to re-do my recording set-up at home so I can get back at it... been three years since I recorded anything. Putting this project on my to do list. So much fun!

I play electric bass, guitar, keyboards (have a Roland module and Korg keyboard), percussion toys and sing.

Keep on rockin'!

/LarryG

I don't garden. My husband loved to do it and I let him. Now he is gone and I am alone. I will be 90 on my next birthday. Having trouble getting used to that number. I am extremely fortunate to be healthy at my age. Currently I am having physical therapy for a rotor cuff problem. But that is it. My intention is to stay in my home because I can. When and if I need assistance, I will use caregivers. When you check out the cost for assisted living it is shocking. And the rooms/apartments are so small you will not be able to take any of your own things with you. So that's my plan to age in place.