How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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kamama94 | @kamama94 | Apr 28 4:44pm

I was sitting by my campfire when Bigfoot walked up, took a beet out of my cooler and started drinking it. Then he said, "You can tell this if you want but nobody will believe you."

kamama94 | @kamama94 | Apr 28 4:53pm

I hate it when I talk to myself then realize I wasn't listening and have to start over.

dani349 | @dani349 | Apr 28 5:54pm

In reply to @kamama94 "I hate it when I talk to myself then realize I wasn't listening and have to..." + (show)

@kamama94 omg ! I know right ! I get side tracked and forget what I'm talking !😂😂 Love !!

samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 29 10:04am

An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away- Comedy short

itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 30 6:59am

In reply to @kamama94 "I was sitting by my campfire when Bigfoot walked up, took a beet out of my..." + (show)

People may not believe you ...

And, people may not believe me ....

And, Yeti exists!

itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 30 7:07am

In reply to @samcal9977zz "An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away- Comedy short https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4mYO41aPFZ8" + (show)

Boy, they really scattered!

I can understand why ...

I don't like pomes, either.

itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 30 9:06am

In reply to @kamama94 "I hate it when I talk to myself then realize I wasn't listening and have to..." + (show)

Iv'e got just the opposite problem.

I listened to ELO's "Cant Get It Out of My Head", exactly once, and it's been on an endless loop in my brain, ever since.

HELP !!!

samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 30 11:07am

Doctor Jokes

++++++

Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."

The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim."

The surgeon responds, "I know…. I'm Jim."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doctor: “You only have six months to live.”

Patient: “That’s horrible, what should I do?”

Doctor: “You should get married.”

Patient: “Get married!?! What are you talking about, with only six months to live?!?”

Doctor: “But, you see, if you get married…that six months…it will FEEL like a lifetime…”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."

"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

+++++++++

Doctor: “I have some bad news and some worse news.”

Patient: “Uh…OK, give me the bad news first”

Doctor: “You are desperately ill, you only have 24 hours to live.”

Patient: “That’s HORRIBLE!!! But, uh, what could be worse!?!”

Doctor: “uh…I forgot to call you yesterday…”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doctor: “ I have some good news and some bad news.”

Patient: “Uh…OK, give me the bad news first”

Doctor: “You are terminally ill. You only have a few months to live.”

Patient: “That’s TERRIBLE!! What’s the good news?’

Doctor: “You see that young blond receptionist?”

Patient: “Yeah?”

Doctor: “I’ve been having an affair with her for the last six weeks!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

"After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. She said, "Who was that?"

++++

Guy goes to the doctor.

Guy: “So, doc, is there anything wrong?”

Doctor: “You have Tom Jones disease.”

Guy: “What's that?”

Doctor: “It's a kind of skin condition.”

Guy: “Tom Jones?”

Doctor: “Yeah, it's named after the singer, he had it.”

Guy: “Is it common?”

Doctor: “Well, it's not unusual…”

++++

Brian Regan "THAT'S WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT!"

++++

Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now?"

“Give him a headache!” says the doctor.

++++

Patient says, "Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."

Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug."

++++

Doctor: “You have high blood pressure and amnesia.”

Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have high blood pressure!”

++++

Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news."

Patient: "What's the good news?"

Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you."

++++

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.

“Is my time up?” she asked him.

“No,” God answered, “you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.

After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.

When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, “I thought you said I had another 40 years?! Why didn’t you save me?”

“I didn’t recognize you,” God replied.

++++

A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head."

"The bad news is it's brain cancer."

++++

Scott R L | @scottrl | Apr 30 3:34pm

Bigfoot bagged, on cover of Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine!

kamama94 | @kamama94 | Apr 30 4:55pm

In reply to @samcal9977zz "Doctor Jokes ++++++ Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel..." + (show)

@samcal9977zz

Doctor Jokes

++++++

Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."

The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim."

The surgeon responds, "I know…. I'm Jim."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doctor: “You only have six months to live.”

Patient: “That’s horrible, what should I do?”

Doctor: “You should get married.”

Patient: “Get married!?! What are you talking about, with only six months to live?!?”

Doctor: “But, you see, if you get married…that six months…it will FEEL like a lifetime…”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."

"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

+++++++++

Doctor: “I have some bad news and some worse news.”

Patient: “Uh…OK, give me the bad news first”

Doctor: “You are desperately ill, you only have 24 hours to live.”

Patient: “That’s HORRIBLE!!! But, uh, what could be worse!?!”

Doctor: “uh…I forgot to call you yesterday…”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doctor: “ I have some good news and some bad news.”

Patient: “Uh…OK, give me the bad news first”

Doctor: “You are terminally ill. You only have a few months to live.”

Patient: “That’s TERRIBLE!! What’s the good news?’

Doctor: “You see that young blond receptionist?”

Patient: “Yeah?”

Doctor: “I’ve been having an affair with her for the last six weeks!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

"After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. She said, "Who was that?"

++++

Guy goes to the doctor.

Guy: “So, doc, is there anything wrong?”

Doctor: “You have Tom Jones disease.”

Guy: “What's that?”

Doctor: “It's a kind of skin condition.”

Guy: “Tom Jones?”

Doctor: “Yeah, it's named after the singer, he had it.”

Guy: “Is it common?”

Doctor: “Well, it's not unusual…”

++++

Brian Regan "THAT'S WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT!"

++++

Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now?"

“Give him a headache!” says the doctor.

++++

Patient says, "Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."

Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug."

++++

Doctor: “You have high blood pressure and amnesia.”

Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have high blood pressure!”

++++

Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news."

Patient: "What's the good news?"

Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you."

++++

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.

“Is my time up?” she asked him.

“No,” God answered, “you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.”

After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.

When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, “I thought you said I had another 40 years?! Why didn’t you save me?”

“I didn’t recognize you,” God replied.

++++

A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head."

"The bad news is it's brain cancer."

++++

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Hilarious!