1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:01am
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "Problems that are overblown: --quicksand --people offering me drugs --getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle Problems..." + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

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I save on the cost of baked goods by buying the day-old stuff.

Some folks say that I suffer from existential bread.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:17am
In reply to @loribmt "Whoa, there! Time to rein in some of those puns!! LOL." + (show)
@loribmt

Whoa, there! Time to rein in some of those puns!! LOL.

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Scott loves horse jokes, and if we don't keep them coming, equines about it.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:26am
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@covidstinks2023 Was the bird ok? Jake" + (show)
@jakedduck1

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

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Jake:

From the way it's written, I think Covidstinks' kitty has a toy that tweets.

If not, I have the same question. Did the tweet-tweet live to retweet?

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:31am
In reply to @samcal9977zz "I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard Oil, but they keep changing their name to avoid prosecution.

Did you hear?

The economy is so bad that the Mafia just fired three judges in Jersey City.

++++

By the way, speaking of NJ...Santa just got arrested, again, drunk and disorderly in Bayonne, NJ

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I'm really hoping that "NCIS: Drunk and Disorderly in Bayonne" gets picked up for another season.

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1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:36am
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "Problems that are overblown: --quicksand --people offering me drugs --getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle Problems..." + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

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Problems that are overblown:

Cowlicks, TNT, spitty old harmonicas.

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covidstinks2023 | @covidstinks2023 | Apr 25 8:42am
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@covidstinks2023 Was the bird ok? Jake" + (show)
@jakedduck1

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

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Yes! It was his toy bird that "tweets". Sorry, I didn't make that clear Jake. Blessings...

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 8:54am

Folks who buy their concert pianos at IKEA are
self-aggrandizing.

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nathandavid | @nathandavid | Apr 25 11:15am
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@nathandavid I think some people are determined to get insulted. I just like finding the humor..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@nathandavid
I think some people are determined to get insulted.
I just like finding the humor in a joke. Even Epilepsy (which I have) jokes.

What do you do when an Epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty clothes.

I posted the following joke on a neighborhood website and got all sorts of flack,

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knive on a date.

Here's another joke I like,

A lady went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist, for some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to kill my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Take care,
Jake

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Not sure if I replied already but that Pharmacy joke is PERFECT!!! Thanks.

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nathandavid | @nathandavid | Apr 25 11:19am
In reply to @covidstinks2023 "How about a laugh...hopefully. You have got to laugh at yourself. Please, no offense to be..." + (show)
@covidstinks2023

How about a laugh...hopefully. You have got to laugh at yourself. Please, no offense to be taken at this if you wear hearing aids.

I got hearing aids a few months ago. They are wonderful...but, a booger to get use too!!

My hearing aids will squeal when someone hugs me, so I had an adjustment done.

I was in the laundry room and I was hearing a "tweeting" sound. I thought, "Oh, my word, now my hearing aids are tweeting!".

Wait for it.....My cat was bringing me his little bird that tweets and dropped it at my feet.

I laughed until I cried at my silly self and was glad it was the cat and not my hearing aids.

The older I get, the more I have to laugh at myself! I hope all you precious folks will do the same.

Blessings & Prayers to All.....

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I hate hearing aids but I'm using them more and more. I am trying to find a good brand that just goes in the ear canal. I dont like the ones I have that fit behind the ear. My hair and glasses are a problem with them. But they work very well. Widex brand.

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nathandavid | @nathandavid | Apr 25 11:20am
In reply to @samcal9977zz "True Tales from New Jersey My friend Bob is completely smashed, driving home. Pulls up toward..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

True Tales from New Jersey

My friend Bob is completely smashed, driving home.

Pulls up toward a red light and makes a whoopsie...hits the car in front of him.

And...it's a cop car.

So, .....they arrest him.

They put him in the backseat and go back to do some paperwork.

When they return, Bob is in the backseat, drunk as a fish, handcuffed...and completely laughing his head off.

The cop looks at Bob and goes, "just what the heck are you laughing at?"

Bob: (Laughing) "I can't believe I hit a cop car!!!"

++++

more tales from NJ. Man gets angry. Man loses it. Man drives his car into the lobby of the police station, with "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses blasting from his speakers.

All caught on tape:

Man crashes vehicle into police station while blasting Guns N' Roses, police say:

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This country is just getting more full of human trash.

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