How do I stop hating myself?

Posted by ihateme22 @ihateme22, Apr 18 11:14am

i want to get this out of me. I hate my self like I really really do whatever i do I don’t feel it’s enough I hate how i have emotions around people but they all fade away whenever iam alone i hate how i can’t think of a feature that makes me happy. I hate that i will live with me till i day. I hate how physically ,mentally, educational wise, work wise im bad at it. Hating myself is starting to make hate everyone around me. I hate how i try to get everyone away from me but deep down i want them to stay close me. I hate how iam just a guy they know but no body will ask about me but that’s my fault. Iam just waiting for the day i die hopefully it’s close cause I can’t take it anymore

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@colleenyoung

Hi @elanatree, I'm glad you jumped into the discussion and encourage to read the previous posts and take some of the helpful remarks, support and strategies that might be helpful to you.

You're right that needing acceptance from others can leave one feeling empty. It's a never-ending quest. Acceptance starts from within. But how do you do that? Small steps count. Focus on something that you like about today. No need for a long list, just one thing. Cherish it.

I'm not a therapist, so take my words only if they help. I hear you. You are a welcome and contributing member of this support forum. You matter.

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Hello & thank you. I hoped someone would reply.
That you’re not a therapist feels more genuine to me.

I do feel I can take one thing & be grateful for it. And keep it in mind the whole day. And yes, acceptance starts from within but I can remember my “best” sister tearing me down for going something like this. Your acceptance & suggestion are inspiring & educational; that is, I need to focus on my real good & not the jarring, grating rejections. (An old family therapist wrote that my family was sadistic towards me; nothing improved thru the years.) I am very happy for your taking the time to be helpful. G-d bless

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@coffeedrinker

My dear Katie Grace,
You are exactly right.
Your statement, "When our love tank is so full, it just overflows to others." is absolutely on target. When we have that infinite, perfect love of God in us, we are so perfectly happy. We can't help but crave to share this love with everyone we come in contact with. It's such a joy to be alive.

With God's love present in us, there is no longer anything to worry about. Money is no longer of significant importance because God provides all that we need.
I haven't always been like this. It was about a year ago that I returned to my church, the Catholic Church. I received Communion and God has been present in my heart ever since. It is the most wonderful feeling that a human being can experience. Try God. All else is nonsense.

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Try Buddha!

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ihateme22, are you still there?
Say hello.

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I used to wake up with massive despair and sadness. I could not see a way out. I have had years of therapy. I found that daily reminders from ActionforHappiness.com gave me a way forward. Here is the one that pulls me out of all the negativity from a traumatic, abusive childhood.

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@colleenyoung

Hi @elanatree, I'm glad you jumped into the discussion and encourage to read the previous posts and take some of the helpful remarks, support and strategies that might be helpful to you.

You're right that needing acceptance from others can leave one feeling empty. It's a never-ending quest. Acceptance starts from within. But how do you do that? Small steps count. Focus on something that you like about today. No need for a long list, just one thing. Cherish it.

I'm not a therapist, so take my words only if they help. I hear you. You are a welcome and contributing member of this support forum. You matter.

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Hi

I have gotten a very helpful personal response and some "hugs." These responses mean a lot to me. I am very sensitive, I believe, from PTSD twice, and immediately, after reading these responses, I had a better night's sleep. I feel that if it's at all possible, if I can keep in touch and keep writing, I will feel better.

Can you let me know what's acceptable?

BTW, I do have a therapist but I am asking for something outside of therapy.

Thank you

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@elanatree

Hi

I have gotten a very helpful personal response and some "hugs." These responses mean a lot to me. I am very sensitive, I believe, from PTSD twice, and immediately, after reading these responses, I had a better night's sleep. I feel that if it's at all possible, if I can keep in touch and keep writing, I will feel better.

Can you let me know what's acceptable?

BTW, I do have a therapist but I am asking for something outside of therapy.

Thank you

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Hi @elanatree Love is a complex emotion. It is something we both want to give and receive. We all seek love and acceptance for who we are. With love we also need faith in ourselves and in others. Please believe in yourself. Have faith that the relationships you seek are out there. I am better now, but I know how you feel. Keep writing, we would to hear from you. Hugs.

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@ihateme22, checking in with you. How are you doing today?

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Sorry to read you struggle with yourself as much as you do. That is more than me.

Do you exercise? I try to lift some weights (very modest) and use a tred mill slowly and I always feel better when I finish. It's because I have to focus on what I am doing and forget what I was thinking about.

I wish you better days. They are possible.

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Self-hate is a struggle. I know, I dealt with it for many years, and it still has distant echoes in my self-talk.

There aren't any easy answers, but there are some interesting questions.

What would you change about yourself if you could? (Saying "everything" is a cop out. Be specific.)
When was the last time you did something nice for yourself? And the time before that?
Who is the person you most admire? Why?
Who is the person you most envy? Why?
Do you think anyone on earth would trade places with you? Why or why not?

There are a lot more questions, but I'm curious about your replies to these.
If you don't want to post here, send me a private message. I will maintain your confidentiality.

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@scottrl

Self-hate is a struggle. I know, I dealt with it for many years, and it still has distant echoes in my self-talk.

There aren't any easy answers, but there are some interesting questions.

What would you change about yourself if you could? (Saying "everything" is a cop out. Be specific.)
When was the last time you did something nice for yourself? And the time before that?
Who is the person you most admire? Why?
Who is the person you most envy? Why?
Do you think anyone on earth would trade places with you? Why or why not?

There are a lot more questions, but I'm curious about your replies to these.
If you don't want to post here, send me a private message. I will maintain your confidentiality.

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great response Scott. Thank you.

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