How do I stop hating myself?

Posted by ihateme22 @ihateme22, Apr 18 11:14am

i want to get this out of me. I hate my self like I really really do whatever i do I don’t feel it’s enough I hate how i have emotions around people but they all fade away whenever iam alone i hate how i can’t think of a feature that makes me happy. I hate that i will live with me till i day. I hate how physically ,mentally, educational wise, work wise im bad at it. Hating myself is starting to make hate everyone around me. I hate how i try to get everyone away from me but deep down i want them to stay close me. I hate how iam just a guy they know but no body will ask about me but that’s my fault. Iam just waiting for the day i die hopefully it’s close cause I can’t take it anymore

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Replacing the word "hate" with the word "question" may be an approach worth considering. One that may help soften your spirit. I am so sorry you are feeling, what appears to be, so hopeless. It is good that you are expressing your feelings. That is healthy. We are a compassionate group where you can come and ventilate your thoughts. Sending you love and kindness. Be gentle with yourself. You are worth it.

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@ihateme22, I hope that you read @equanimous' reply to you. I second everything she says.

You have come to a welcoming place where you can openly share. At the same time, I recognize that waiting for replies on a forum like this one may sometimes not be enough. If at any point you want to speak with someone, please call or text 988 for immediate help
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org

Have you talked with a therapist about your feelings?

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It is a positive thing to reach out on sites like this. I feel it’s helpful to be gentle with myself, realizing that no one is perfect.Maybe talking with a person trained to listen and give guidance can help support you while you’re feeling low. I think everyone is important and deserves to feel good. I hope you will decide to get help in doing that.

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I am sorry that you have these feelings. Most of us have those kind of feelings occasinally, but it appears that you are having them constantly. How long have you felt this way?
I am not a doctor, so I cannot offer medical advice. But, as a follower of Jesus, I do know that God loves you. In His Word, he tells us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". Jesus said to "come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest". Accepting Christ as your Saviour will not make all your troubles disappear, but it will help knowing that He is with you every step you take. Psalm 23 tells us, "Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the valley of deth, I will fear no evil, for You are with me".
Your are a precious child og God. Let him help you.

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Dear I hate me,
I am a Christian and I apologize if I offend you or anyone else with what I am going to say. I am also not a professional counselor.
I believe that God created you. He has a purpose for you. He loves you. Every time you hear your thoughts saying, "I hate myself", change that thought to a positive, something like "God loves me, and if God loves me, I can learn to love myself". Don't compare yourself to others. Try hard to find your good points-everyone has some good points.
When we hate ourselves, we can't expect ourselves to be able to love others - what happens is we subconsciously start pushing others away with our actions, because we feel we are not worthy of their love. You are worthy of being loved by God and worthy of being loved by yourself, and others.

When we feel loved, then we can love others. It's kind of like when someone ahead of you at McDonalds pays for your order-you can't believe it and want to do the same for the person behind you. When our love tank is so full, it just overflows to others.

Someone told me once, "Hurting people hurt others". We have to forgive those who have hurt us in the past, so that we can love others instead of continuing on with the pattern of hurting others.

What might be helpful too, is to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend-you would have compassion and show grace; so do the same to yourself-you are worth it.
Set goals- you will feel better about yourself when you reach a goal, but don't set the goals so high you can't reach them. Try to do something each day that you enjoy, like taking a walk, or reading a chapter in a book.
Pay attention to what your mind is telling you and "take every thought captive", -if it is a negative thought about yourself, change the bad thought and keep repeating the good thought to yourself--Change "I hate me" to "God loves me and made me and has a purpose for me" Forgive yourself for bad things in the past you haven't been able to forgive yourself for- you did the best you could with what you had - God forgives you.
Pay attention to what others say about you that is good and believe it.
Google "how to like yourself" - there is a lot of good information online.
I believe a godly Christian counselor would be good for you, but I know not everyone has the money or time for that.
Ask God to help you love yourself and others. Do good things for others-maybe that's what you are good at. What do you like to do-that could be an indication of what you are good at.
There will always be others who are better or worse at something than you are; those who are smarter, those who are not as smart as you, etc.
Try to accept yourself the way God made you; try to trust God that He made you a certain way for a good reason.
Take care of yourself.

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I think you would benefit greatly from talking with a psychologist. I have been seeing a psychologist online since January. Insurance covers the cost. Try a reputable online service. I follow Dr Phil so I have the Dr on Demand app. Very easy to find a reputable therapist and talk at home. Good luck.

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@katiegrace

Dear I hate me,
I am a Christian and I apologize if I offend you or anyone else with what I am going to say. I am also not a professional counselor.
I believe that God created you. He has a purpose for you. He loves you. Every time you hear your thoughts saying, "I hate myself", change that thought to a positive, something like "God loves me, and if God loves me, I can learn to love myself". Don't compare yourself to others. Try hard to find your good points-everyone has some good points.
When we hate ourselves, we can't expect ourselves to be able to love others - what happens is we subconsciously start pushing others away with our actions, because we feel we are not worthy of their love. You are worthy of being loved by God and worthy of being loved by yourself, and others.

When we feel loved, then we can love others. It's kind of like when someone ahead of you at McDonalds pays for your order-you can't believe it and want to do the same for the person behind you. When our love tank is so full, it just overflows to others.

Someone told me once, "Hurting people hurt others". We have to forgive those who have hurt us in the past, so that we can love others instead of continuing on with the pattern of hurting others.

What might be helpful too, is to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend-you would have compassion and show grace; so do the same to yourself-you are worth it.
Set goals- you will feel better about yourself when you reach a goal, but don't set the goals so high you can't reach them. Try to do something each day that you enjoy, like taking a walk, or reading a chapter in a book.
Pay attention to what your mind is telling you and "take every thought captive", -if it is a negative thought about yourself, change the bad thought and keep repeating the good thought to yourself--Change "I hate me" to "God loves me and made me and has a purpose for me" Forgive yourself for bad things in the past you haven't been able to forgive yourself for- you did the best you could with what you had - God forgives you.
Pay attention to what others say about you that is good and believe it.
Google "how to like yourself" - there is a lot of good information online.
I believe a godly Christian counselor would be good for you, but I know not everyone has the money or time for that.
Ask God to help you love yourself and others. Do good things for others-maybe that's what you are good at. What do you like to do-that could be an indication of what you are good at.
There will always be others who are better or worse at something than you are; those who are smarter, those who are not as smart as you, etc.
Try to accept yourself the way God made you; try to trust God that He made you a certain way for a good reason.
Take care of yourself.

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My dear Katie Grace,
You are exactly right.
Your statement, "When our love tank is so full, it just overflows to others." is absolutely on target. When we have that infinite, perfect love of God in us, we are so perfectly happy. We can't help but crave to share this love with everyone we come in contact with. It's such a joy to be alive.

With God's love present in us, there is no longer anything to worry about. Money is no longer of significant importance because God provides all that we need.
I haven't always been like this. It was about a year ago that I returned to my church, the Catholic Church. I received Communion and God has been present in my heart ever since. It is the most wonderful feeling that a human being can experience. Try God. All else is nonsense.

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I am who I used to hate. Needy, emotional, always fatigued & talk about health problems because that is all I have going on. I had a full amazing life. Now I need a Walker - forget things like going to the bathroom - literally need to check my calendar numerous times a day so I know what & when I need to do things. Everyone could count on me. I’m on many medications, talk to numerous therapists and still forget most things. I’m not an active participant in my life. Just keep getting up & go through the motions until I want to again. It’s very hard not to hate who I am now. Thankfully I don’t want to kill myself or others - that would be the only thing that could make this worse. Keep on keeping on for me if not for yourself - Love you

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This is selfish but I feel the same way too and it makes me feel more normal that someone else feels the same way. I take medication to sleep & my practitioner is malicious which is now increasing my insomnia and the self hate. It’s extremely hard to get new person. I know that an intelligent accepting practitioner would make me feel more comfortable but the idea that I need acceptance from the outside increases my feelings of weakness. I hope that opening up in this forum will help me, that someone can understand and offer some kindness. This practitioner knocked the wind out of me. It’s terrible to feel this way.

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@elanatree

This is selfish but I feel the same way too and it makes me feel more normal that someone else feels the same way. I take medication to sleep & my practitioner is malicious which is now increasing my insomnia and the self hate. It’s extremely hard to get new person. I know that an intelligent accepting practitioner would make me feel more comfortable but the idea that I need acceptance from the outside increases my feelings of weakness. I hope that opening up in this forum will help me, that someone can understand and offer some kindness. This practitioner knocked the wind out of me. It’s terrible to feel this way.

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Hi @elanatree, I'm glad you jumped into the discussion and encourage to read the previous posts and take some of the helpful remarks, support and strategies that might be helpful to you.

You're right that needing acceptance from others can leave one feeling empty. It's a never-ending quest. Acceptance starts from within. But how do you do that? Small steps count. Focus on something that you like about today. No need for a long list, just one thing. Cherish it.

I'm not a therapist, so take my words only if they help. I hear you. You are a welcome and contributing member of this support forum. You matter.

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