What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

I can relate. My adult kids do text but we argue a lot on text and then they tend to block me. It’s outrageous. I think to myself the things they say to me at times “this can’t possibly be my grown up kids!” I taught them better than this! My adult kids live at home & we have a son in law (our daughter is married). Our son in law is deaf. We have worked with our daughter & son in law for 12 years to help them succeed more in life. Our daughter did talk about joining the military to begin with but her career path changed when she went to college instead. She currently works for a retail store making pretty good money due to her college education. The only thing is she doesn’t have coworkers with any similar college education. So she only associates with others below her education wise. It really makes a difference because those who are more educated know how to treat one another in a more correct/respectful way. Not that we haven’t taught her to be that way, but when you work with others who are less educated one tends to sometimes become like them. She curses at me on text which I hate. She calls me controlling yet she will block me to get her way. Thereby cutting me off from even being able to defend myself many times. So who is controlling who?

Our son was married for awhile. It was a very strange marriage. I knew it wasn’t going to last. He had no car of his or their own to even be able to get to work. He would take a bus to work but the bus schedules were never on time. He ended up not being able to maintain working then. His in-laws allowed him use of their car but it was only to get them to their appointments. He was the only licensed driver in the family. He got divorced in recent years and moved back home with us which was fine with us because he needed the family support to be able to go forth in life further. Thank God we were still available for him. I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened to him if we weren’t. He got back working again. He was working 2 jobs up till recently. He has been doing very well. He has had a few girlfriends during this time. We gave him one our vehicles so he can get back & forth to work. He has been building his credit. He and our daughter and son in law take vacations a few times a year. Most times it’s been with a girlfriend and our daughter & son in law which we feel is safer for our son.m till he gets to know the girlfriend better, Our daughter & son in law just bought a newer vehicle. Our son helped them to be able to buy it as they don’t have their drivers licenses yet. We had been driving our daughter & son in law back and forth to work all these years but now they have their own car so my son helps them more with that or we still do but not as often as we had been doing. Till one of them gets their drivers license. So like you we are being generous and helpful. We don’t deserve to be cursed at that’s for sure. Or blocked. Our son knows how to speak to us properly. There are 9 years between him and his sister/our daughter. He was raised by us during a time in our lives when my father was alive and when my husband’s mother was alive. Our family was more respectful towards one another then for some reason. He many times won’t stick up for me though to do with his sister and I when we are arguing. I realize they all still have growing up to do. Our son in law helps us out a lot. He mows our grass regularly and has been helping with other landscaping work that my husband used to be very involved with doing but with my husband getting older my husband does more of the directing these days instead of the manual work. My husband is in his 70’s. I know that there will come a time when the kids might all move out and get a place of their own or we might move out and let the kids live here and I would hope that they would continue to care about us. I know things could be worse but it is hard to deal with not feeling more appreciated at times by my own children. I guess that will always be a parents argument.

Feeling your pain. I ha ent spoken to my adult children in over 6 months. They don't respond to any off my attempts to reach them. They didn't ever respond to a msgg of the I r father being cancer free. I Han an emotional breakdown in Sept 23 and an still recovering ., I understand your pain, bitterness, confusion. I too devoted my life to them and supported them through their ups and downs. These adult children are toxic . I cried, I yelled at God for forsaking me. Please get a good counselor and let them help you ❤️