Best trackers for lost loved ones with dementia
I am planning ahead and need some guidance. I am caregiver for both my mom and husband. We all live together since my father died late last year. I am concerned about how to find them if one of them wanders off. What trackers have you found that work for locating lost loved ones? I like the idea of medical ID bracelets as well and have been following that forum question as well.
Thanks so much!
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@briankj, I can imagine your concern about your wife wandering off when you are out. I moved your question about trackers to this existing one.
- Best trackers for lost loved ones with dementia
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/best-trackers-for-lost-loved-ones-with-dementia/
I did this so you can read previous posts from members like @johnna16 @pattyinal @larryg333 @ladytexan @mrjohnwebb and connect with them.
Did you find a system that works for you and your wife? How are you doing today, Brian?
I found one that seems like it would work. I will read that thread and compare some options. Thanks for asking about me. I'm really not doing well lately. I have a lump in my throat every day and I cry a lot, but at the same time, I have learned to cherish what I have today.
@briankj, caregiving is the hardest job of all and it comes with no training, no manual, and no backup. There are many here who understand like @tsc @fwentz @teacher502 @bayviewgal and so many more. Cherishing what you have today is a good for both of you, I'm sure. Harder some days than others, and hence the release with tears. Thank for teaching the lessons you are learning.
One idea that I used was to take my wife's picture to the police department and give them information about her so that if she was lost they could put out an APB (all-points bulletin) to help locate her. Fortunately we never had to use that procedure.
Good idea. Thank you.
Hi @briankj, it's heartbreaking as we note our loved one's deterioration, sometimes bizarre behaviors, and inability to self care. I'm fortunate in that my husband still listens to me, most of the time. He remembers some rules better than others, like not to leave the house when I'm not home, but I know the day will come when he forgets that.
There is no manual, but there are resources online like Teepa Snow. You can Google her and the topic you need support with. Our HMO has a Geriatric Department. We had a two hour Zoom meeting with a Geriatrician two weeks ago and it was helpful. Half of the meeting was the doctor getting to know my spouse, the other was her going over caregiving and planning issues with me: costs of in-home care vs. memory facility, the importance for me to bring in help when I need it from agencies (for liability issues), having credit freezes in place. She wants to be involved in discussions with our dentist when my husband needs an extended dental procedure. She also advised she can help with trackers should we need them.
To @fwentz comment, I told neighbors in our area that my husband has Alzheimer's in the event he does wander, and because he did something that upset a neighbor, who told another neighbor. He watched his wife with binoculars when she was walking her dogs. She thought he was a sex pervert. I didn't realize that at the time he was blind in one eye from a cataract. Anyway, he's forgotten about the binoculars now, and that's a good thing.
The geritrician told me it's important for the caregiver to stay calm because when we get upset, the one we're taking care of feels attacked and has to fight back. I try to make that my rule, stay as calm as possible, keep unkind comments to myself, and try to engage him as much as possible.
I wish you the best.
@tsc. What a great meeting you had with your geriatrician! They are the best ones to help as we grow older and more and more forgetful. I’m so glad that you found her. How did you find her.? Was your insurance company helpful ?
Hi @becsbuddy, When my husband had his Medicare Wellness Check earlier this year, the Nurse practitioner asked if we were interested in the referral. Our HMO (Kaiser Permanente) has geritricians on staff, which I didn't know. It was a very pleasant surprise, and one I would not have thought of pursuing on my own.
I did that very thing yesterday. My partner sneaked out of the grocery store yesterday & was gone for 4 hours. Local police copied a photo of him that I had on my phone. Hours later my partner wandered into a restaurant 3 miles down the road. The waitress thought he seemed “off” so she called the police. They matched the woman’s description to the photo I provided & picked him up. You never know what will save you.