Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Jim and I live out in the country (in rural Minnesota) and have 5 acres; about half of it woods and the rest a hilly lawn. And I have seven perennial flower gardens. They've been my real passion, but my meniscus-torn knee doesn't want to take care of those gardens anymore. Our house is big and we can't keep up with what needs to be done on our property. If we could hire yard/garden help, we might consider staying-in-place. But there just aren't those people in our vicinity that we can hire for that help.

So we figure we will move sometime soon. (We're both 71 years old.) We have our name on the list for a few Senior Cooperatives, but there are many people on these lists ahead of us. The co-op offers people interested to buy in the order according to where they are on the list. I can't imagine it will work to sell and buy into a co-op seamlessly. So we think we'll rent in the interim, until we can buy the co-op apartment that we want. Hopefully the cooperative apartment we want will become available within just a couple of years of renting.

Now, we've got a new consideration and we're not sure how it fits into our plans. My husband was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. He had a robotic prostatectomy about three weeks ago and they think there's a good chance the cancer was contained within the prostate. But we do know that a recurrence at some point is a possibility. (We're optimistic for a "cure"!) His first post-surgery PSA will be in about two months. If the result of this test is anything other than "undetectable," we'll know there's still cancer in his body and will need more treatment. So we're nervous for, and looking forward to, getting beyond that benchmark test. We don't know how the cancer, especially if it is still in his body, should best be factored into our decision to make our move - sooner or later. We do know we want to remain within a decent driving distance from Mayo - Rochester, where Jim is getting such excellent care!

If any of you have any thoughts on the pros and cons of moving sooner or later, I'd love to hear them! We still have a lot of decluttering to do before we can put the house on the market. That work pretty much went by the wayside when we were researching the right treatment plan for Jim's cancer. And right now, he's early in his slow recovery from the surgery. And thankfully, his recovery is going well. His health is, of course, the most important thing to focus on! But we know we have some big decisions to make regarding a move and there will be quite a lot of work in that process. Thank you in advance for any thoughts you might share and I wish you all well!
Rose

I'm 82 and live alone on 22 beautiful acres in coastal California. I've had breast cancer and recently a bad hip, but both are under control.
Its hard work for me pulling weeds in the front yard, but it give me exercise. I'm going to stay here as long a I can. It is too wonderful here to move until my health gets really bad. My son stays with me several days a week, working around the house and my daughter brings me groceries. I can't drive due to peripheral neuropathy caused from chemo,. My health insurance takes me on rides to my medical appointments.
I block off half the house when I have the heat on, I was recently stuck in an airport overnight when I missed a connecting flight and I felt proud that I made it sitting in a chair for 8 hours!

Hi Rose my name is Dave and I'd like to throw out a question sorry all of my moms freinds are in senior buildings and none of them have any chance of doing any gardening yes they did it at their house but not at the senior places. So dont let the gardens at your house be a sticking point. The longer you stay in your home the better people age much faster in those types of living conditions

More than congratulations on staying at airport for 8 hours, I could not of done that, i would have found a lounge with a very large couch Dave

Hello, no worries, I was diagnosed with an aggressive stage 3 prostate cancer in Jan 2014, prostate removed, started to come back in summer of 2014, had drug therapy at the end of 2014 and 8 weeks of radiation 5 days a week the following year, went till May 2022 with three-month checkups throughout the time frame. My doubling time determined when I should start a new therapy. I started on Orgovyx in May 2022, Undetectable PSA a month after I started on it. Have been going well since, undetectable each 3 months. No side effects for me. Next checkup is coming up and feeling fine. Currently age 73. New strides are on the way.

It sounds like continuing to live in your home is working wonderfully for you.. Your location must be beautiful. And you're so lucky to have wonderful "children" to help you out like they do. They must really love their mom! And insurance that gets you to and from medical appointments?! More power to you, in staying where you are as long as you're able! All the best!

Thanks for telling about your prostate cancer and the fact that you're doing well, having had quite a lot of treatment, in the ~10 years since your diagnosis. Yes, I know science is making great strides in prostate cancer therapies, which is very encouraging. Sure hope you continue to do well!

Yes, I sure don't want to completely give up gardening. But only two flower gardens, that I can take good care of, would better suit me at this point in my life. If we move into a co-op, I plan to planter-garden on our deck, We're excited about the co-op we hope to live in because it is in a very vibrant community with two of the best colleges in the state, and all the good that comes with this. We have some good friends who live there, it's within a good driving range of both Mayo and Minneapolis/St. Paul, where we also have a lot of good friends. We now live almost at the top of one of the bluffs outside a lovely community on the Mississippi River. We've certainly thought of staying, and may do so. But we're actually really looking forward to this new small town that has so much to offer.

My wife and I, both in our mid 70s have spent the past 50 yrs living up and down the CA coastline. Me, because I was an early pro surfer back in the 1960s, eventually having fun as my life's work and my wife became an LCSW, with a license and credentials only good in the state of CA. She currently works exclusively from home, but literally can work on-line from anywhere in the world. Rental prices / cost of living in CA has gotten to the point where we can't get out of here soon enough. We have lived abroad in the past, but that was when the US Dollar was a powerful currency. We've been looking around the country for co-op living, but don't have the cash to buy in or don't care for the location. Our current "decision" is to pack up our necessary stuff (we're already living minimalist lives) and head out to the Research Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill) in N. Carolina. It has a good VA Hospital for me and it's a young growing area with lots to do. If possible, I can buy a small home using the G.I. Bill or just continue renting. Our current rent on the beach in CA in over $4 K / month, but with Medicare, a couple of retirement pensions, royalties from several surfing-related inventions, and an upgrade to my veteran's disability--Agent Orange exposure in VN and toxic drinking water while in the Marines at Camp LeJeune, we should be doing pretty well even with my Parkinson's Disease. For now, it seems as if we'll head out to N.C., get a short term rental or air-b-and b, and check our the individual communities in and around the Triangle. Not much of a plan, but that's all we have for now; except maybe to move back to S. America. We wanted to move to Portugal, but it's gotten far too expensive to gain residency. We both speak Portuguese and Spanish and Portugal has a similar climate to that of CA--at least in the Algarve region. The mountain area near Porto is affordable, but my body doesn't do well in cooler weather. Our lease is up in November, but I need to know about my Veterans Evaluation status prior to moving--and once again needing to start the process from the beginning. Anybody else in the same boat?

Thanks! I have hope that I will live to be almost 101 in good condition like my mother in law did. She fell down carrying the garbage out when she was 93 and broke her hip. It was healed 6 months later. She was living alone until then. After that she went to live with her daughter and was still gambling at Lake Tahoe at 96!