1. < Mental Health

Feeling lost and stuck in my living situation - end of my rope

Posted by jobycat @jobycat, May 25, 2023

At 57 i am living with a psycotic person I survive on ssdi, and cant afford to find a place of my own. Everyday I wonder if living in my car would be better

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surreal name | @sofaramnotdead | Mar 3 1:13am
In reply to @jipc "I'm very concerned about you. I understand your situation and would like to help. Do you..." + (show)
@jipc

I'm very concerned about you. I understand your situation and would like to help. Do you feel safe telling which state you live in? I could do some research for you to find out who you could call. It sounds like you need protection and you have no energy to do much. I know how that feels, I've felt much like you do so I am not judging you. It's overwhelming. I have had fears of being homeless too, but try to put that fear out of your mind for just a moment. Focus for a minute on what you need to get out of this situation. Someone asked if you have enough money to live on somewhere else. Can you manage that? If not, then maybe this community can think of a way to have your abusive person removed so they can't hurt you. Right now you can't even focus on yourself and getting better because of this other person.
I really hear how hopeless you feel. I've been there. Please don't give up yet! Let's explore other options

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I think we’ve all been there. Yes, if the mean woman isn’t paying much, she’ll be evicted if you move out. Is that accurate?

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surreal name | @sofaramnotdead | Mar 3 1:18am
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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If your roommate lays a finger on you, you can call or even email the local police department and tell them you have possibly been assaulted. When they police arrive, they’ll interview you in private, and ask you if you are afraid of what this person might do to you. If you say “Yes,” they will automatically arrest her and she’ll spend at least the night in jail. Make her be the one who has to walk on eggshells!

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sally12345 | @sally12345 | Mar 3 5:12am
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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You need to stay strong obvious you are.....you sound it already...the person your living with sounds like she is doing you more harm than good. I have a son that was living here with a girlfriend who was demea.Ming manipulating , the word backlighting , hoovering come to mind. Also has mental health issues. Fought constantly. I had heard but not sure on crack and fenatyl. Eventually altho it migh t not have been the rite thing I threw her out. Of course is back with her and following her from couch to couch ..But what do you do....enough is enough

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lizziel1 | @lizziel1 | Mar 3 9:59am
In reply to @reno10 "When you reach the END of your… peripheral rope, TIE A KNOT AND HOLD ON! Life..." + (show)
@reno10

When you reach the END of your… peripheral rope,
TIE A KNOT AND HOLD ON!
Life is all about CHOICES
We all make mistakes
That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do!
That’s how we learn that’s how we grow.
We put ourselves in situations, and then we think it’s somebody else’s fault that we are in that situation.
Because we certainly don’t want to be responsible for our own mistakes and bad choices.
But that’s how we learn and that’s how we grow.
Be brave, cowgirl up
The streets really aren’t that bad.
I should know
And I am 67 years old

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Your comment is trite and unhelpful.

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lizziel1 | @lizziel1 | Mar 3 10:03am
In reply to @jobycat "I am 58 and for years after surviving a hep-c diagnosis and treatment for 48 weeks..." + (show)
@jobycat

I am 58 and for years after surviving a hep-c diagnosis and treatment for 48 weeks my body is a wreck. I had no idea how the drugs would effect my body. I worked skilled trades for decades and now i dont think I can swing a hammer for 5 minutes. After my family member passed i was trying to survive on ssdi. I moved in with my 'girlfriend'. that has become untenable. She has her own mental health issues at work and no place for me. I get winded just going up and down the stairs, I dont know if my heart and the rest of me can handle being homeless, so I try to sleep a lot and hide in my dreams hoping one day it will all be over

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I’ve been in bad situations similar to this. Seriously I’d rather live in a car, do you own one?
I would immediately get on a list for subsidized housing. It may not take as long as you are over 55, and disabled. Even renting a weekly rate motel room would be better than your current situation.

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Mar 3 12:10pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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Hi all, this is a reminder about the purpose of Mayo Clinic Connect and the Community Guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) that help keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful.

Mayo Clinic Connect is a welcoming online community where patients and caregivers should feel safe in sharing their experiences, find support and exchange information with others. Everyone deal with adversity differently. What may help one person may seem unhelpful to someone else.

The priority rule on Connect, is guideline number 2
2. Remain respectful at all times.

It is not our place to judge. It's important to remember that we only have words on a page to express ourselves without the benefit of body language and tone of voice. Be kind. Be supportive.

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jobycat | @jobycat | Mar 24 5:29pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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she will be able to cover the rent but not much else. My ss check is 1k a month. I dont know where i can get a place for that. I dont want to die on this couch. Every day i lose more hope I will ever get out of this mess. I never saw it coming

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jobycat | @jobycat | Mar 25 4:35pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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Every day I wish i was dead rather then live in this HELL. I can not coexist with a PSYCHOTIC. I can not go on. i dont have a key to the front door and cant leave with out her permission. I am 58 years old and have NO control over my life

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2 replies
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Mar 26 9:46am
In reply to @jobycat "Every day I wish i was dead rather then live in this HELL. I can not..." + (show)
@jobycat

Every day I wish i was dead rather then live in this HELL. I can not coexist with a PSYCHOTIC. I can not go on. i dont have a key to the front door and cant leave with out her permission. I am 58 years old and have NO control over my life

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Generally, the law is that you cannot be evicted without something like 30 days notice. And she would have to go to the courts to start that process.

Maybe you could contact one of the major national charities and see if they can connect you to some counseling. Two heads are always better than one.

You never know what kind of ideas might arise from that interaction.

Take care now.

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Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | Mar 27 1:49am
In reply to @jobycat "Every day I wish i was dead rather then live in this HELL. I can not..." + (show)
@jobycat

Every day I wish i was dead rather then live in this HELL. I can not coexist with a PSYCHOTIC. I can not go on. i dont have a key to the front door and cant leave with out her permission. I am 58 years old and have NO control over my life

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I don't know how many times I've been at the end of the rope! So many. And so hopeless.

People have given you all kinds of ideas and suggestions. I don't know that I have any more to offer. How about you read through some of them and find one thing you can do. Sometimes when I try to make a list of things I might do, I feel totally overwhelmed. But just one thing is more manageable.

Let me know what you pick, will you?

Tonight I will pray that you will have clarity of mind to choose the one thing you can do.

Jim

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