1. < Mental Health

Feeling lost and stuck in my living situation - end of my rope

Posted by jobycat @jobycat, May 25, 2023

At 57 i am living with a psycotic person I survive on ssdi, and cant afford to find a place of my own. Everyday I wonder if living in my car would be better

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jobycat | @jobycat | Mar 27 8:14am
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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Thank you. I try. I always thought I was tough guy. Work in all kinds of weather, 12-14 hour days, anything to make it happen. This type of life was never even a thought for me. Being sick and not in control. Someone else with great handicaps making your decisions. I will try. The strength is all I need. I am not scared of time running out I cant change that

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | Mar 27 4:09pm
In reply to @jobycat "Thank you. I try. I always thought I was tough guy. Work in all kinds of..." + (show)
@jobycat

Thank you. I try. I always thought I was tough guy. Work in all kinds of weather, 12-14 hour days, anything to make it happen. This type of life was never even a thought for me. Being sick and not in control. Someone else with great handicaps making your decisions. I will try. The strength is all I need. I am not scared of time running out I cant change that

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Sounds like you have a good history of real strength. That could be the resource you need now. If you can tap into the tough guy you were before.

Possible?

Jim

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | May 4 5:48pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

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@jobycat, you wrote in another discussion that you've hit the crossroads again. You feel like your situation cannot be changed and you feel there is no path forward. There is a path forward. It is hard to take, but you can do it. It is hard to do alone, but there is help out there.

For immediate help, I urge you to call or text 988. At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org there are trained cousellors to speak with any time of day or night. You don't have to talk on the phone, you can also used texting.

Next, I recommend finding a social worker. They can help find resources for you to get out of your situation. There is hope and help. If finances are an issue, search for a social worker using My Help Navigator

- My Help Navigator: https://myhelpnavigator.auntbertha.com/

REPLY
1 reply
pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | May 5 8:36am
In reply to @pkh3381 "I just googled "crisis hotlines", and got the following info about the crisis #988: "What is..." + (show)
@pkh3381

I just googled "crisis hotlines", and got the following info about the crisis #988: "What is 988? The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) offers 24/7 call, text and chat access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing suicidal, substance use, and/or mental health crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress." I thought maybe this would be helpful because you are feeling trapped and need some good solid help with a solutiion to your problem. You could also google "crisis hotlines" for your State to get help with local assistance for someone in your type of situation. Please don't take this as a "cold" reply. I just really hear you, that many of the suggestions we have made don't work for your particular circumstances. Bottom line, you must get out of your living circumstances and relationship. Many of the crisis hotlines do not require you are suicidal. You can just talk [or, many of them are chat lines] and, as I understand it, they have many resources available to direct people to specific help for specific circimstances, which is why I have suggested this. You say you can't just go anywhere, but I am hoping you can place calls, or do chats? My heart goes out to you.❤️

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Thank you for such a wonderful reply full of information and I hope it helps this person…this is such a caring site and I pray this person finds a way out and continues to stay close to Mayo Connect…my heart ♥️ goes out to this person as well…🙏pvctom

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pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | May 5 8:43am
In reply to @colleenyoung "@jobycat, you wrote in another discussion that you've hit the crossroads again. You feel like your..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

@jobycat, you wrote in another discussion that you've hit the crossroads again. You feel like your situation cannot be changed and you feel there is no path forward. There is a path forward. It is hard to take, but you can do it. It is hard to do alone, but there is help out there.

For immediate help, I urge you to call or text 988. At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org there are trained cousellors to speak with any time of day or night. You don't have to talk on the phone, you can also used texting.

Next, I recommend finding a social worker. They can help find resources for you to get out of your situation. There is hope and help. If finances are an issue, search for a social worker using My Help Navigator

- My Help Navigator: https://myhelpnavigator.auntbertha.com/

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Thank you for such a helpful reply to this person’s situation…I hope it helps and it is great information to have …we never know when we may need it for whatever critical change in our lives occurs..🙏pvctom

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Arlo | @equanimous | May 5 12:10pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

Jump to this post

The first step is always the hardest. But, it is time to take action. Action brings empowerment. Empowerment brings hope. All the best to you. You can do this!

REPLY
atdwitzend | @atdwitzend | May 5 1:24pm
In reply to @jobycat "I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My..." + (show)
@jobycat

I will be 58 in December, and survive on ssdi. I have been so sick. My partner is so mean. She is a rageaholic. She wont work and just complains about me all day. I pay all the bills with my little money, but have no key to the door and I am not on the lease. If I complain she will kick me out. I cant live on the street. Hopeless

Jump to this post

My heart goes out to you my friend. Sounds like she's taking advantage of you with little or no regard to you. Perhaps there's a sleeping room even temp till you can upgrade. Shelters are often able to assist or give direction. Local church. HRA. Board and lodge. Group housing. Temporarily while you search for something better. Gets you out from under the uncertainty and unpredictable circumstances you currently live with being at someone else's mercy. Stay hopeful no matter how bleak it seems. Don't give up. You need to get away from her negativity and selfishness. Better days are ahead 👍🙂❤️

REPLY
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | May 19 6:49pm

Hi @jobycat, I encourage you to re-read this discussion that you started in March 25, 2023.
- Feeling lost and stuck in my living situation - end of my rope https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lost-1/

As you re-read your own words and the support, encouragement and suggestions shared by members I'd like you to specifically reflect on @jimhd's message to you.

He said, "Sounds like you have a good history of real strength. That could be the resource you need now. If you can tap into the tough guy you were before."

I believe that too. Know that you are supported and that community members hear you and offer a lift up. Now it's your turn. What can you change today to move one step out of the situation you no longer want to be in?

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jobycat | @jobycat | May 19 11:38pm

It is hard when I wake up on the couch where I sleep and live at 12 am to wide open doors and ranting and raving. Another day in hell for me. Hard to see the upside. Still no key to the front door

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | May 20 1:17pm
In reply to @jobycat "It is hard when I wake up on the couch where I sleep and live at..." + (show)
@jobycat

It is hard when I wake up on the couch where I sleep and live at 12 am to wide open doors and ranting and raving. Another day in hell for me. Hard to see the upside. Still no key to the front door

Jump to this post

Jim here again. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't heard from you that you've done anything proactively to change or get out of the situation you're in. Maybe you just haven't mentioned it. I continue to encourage you to dig deeper into the mental resources that have been buried amidst the abusive relationship you feel you're stuck in.

Start being in charge of your future. Your future depends completely on what you do today.

Jim

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