1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | Feb 10 8:52am
In reply to @judyingenes "After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy..." + (show)
@judyingenes

After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo.

When the others asked him what the reason was for such sadness, the Kangaroo revealed that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside.

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Hope mama had enough womb for everybody.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Feb 10 8:56am
In reply to @judyingenes "I know I just posted one, but this one is....Well, I'm still laughing!! _____________ A taxi..." + (show)
@judyingenes

I know I just posted one, but this one is....Well, I'm still laughing!!
_____________

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

For a second, everything was quiet in the cab..... Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 year

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Best one yet!

Thanks!

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itchyd | @itchyd | Feb 10 9:11am
In reply to @zeip8288 "So, I would imagine that most of you have never heard of the 2 ancient and..." + (show)
@zeip8288

So, I would imagine that most of you have never heard of the 2 ancient and famous Greek Urologists-- Testiclese and Scroticus!

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When I filed a malpractice suit against my urologist, I hired the tough-nosed law firm Ternier, Hedd & Koff, who are known for not being afraid to hit below the belt.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Feb 10 9:15am
In reply to @zeip8288 "So, I would imagine that most of you have never heard of the 2 ancient and..." + (show)
@zeip8288

So, I would imagine that most of you have never heard of the 2 ancient and famous Greek Urologists-- Testiclese and Scroticus!

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Never heard of them.

I am familiar, though, with the French playwright, Balzac.

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captboat | @captboat | Feb 10 10:07am
In reply to @kamama94 "A little boy at a wedding asked another little boy at the wedding how many wives..." + (show)
@kamama94

A little boy at a wedding asked another little boy at the wedding how many wives a man could have. His friend replied, 16. 4 for better, 4 for worse, 4 for richer, 4 for poorer.

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Even my wife said “that is funny ”!

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captboat | @captboat | Feb 10 10:18am
In reply to @judyingenes "I know I just posted one, but this one is....Well, I'm still laughing!! _____________ A taxi..." + (show)
@judyingenes

I know I just posted one, but this one is....Well, I'm still laughing!!
_____________

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

For a second, everything was quiet in the cab..... Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 year

Jump to this post

@judyingenes
This one really got to me, my mother drove a cab in Washington, DC for 33 years and lived to be 94!

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1 reply
Judyinjeans. | @judyingenes | Feb 10 12:34pm
In reply to @captboat "@judyingenes This one really got to me, my mother drove a cab in Washington, DC for..." + (show)
@captboat

@judyingenes
This one really got to me, my mother drove a cab in Washington, DC for 33 years and lived to be 94!

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I hope it wasn’t offensive to you…

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captboat | @captboat | Feb 10 3:33pm

@judyingenes
Judy this joke is one of my all time greats, and thank you for your consideration.

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kamama94 | @kamama94 | Feb 11 12:01pm

3 women go to heaven and when they get there, God tells them, "We have a lot of ducks in heaven. There is only one rule here: don't step on a duck."

Shortly thereafter one of the women accidentally steps on a duck and the next thing she knows she has been paired for all eternity with the ugliest man she ever saw.

Not long after that, the 2nd woman accidentally stepped on a duck and suddenly found herself partnered for eternity with the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

The 3rd woman was now extremely careful and avoided stepping on a duck for a very long time. With no warning she found herself next to the handsomest man she had ever seen. She asked him, "How did I get so lucky?"

The man replied, "I stepped on a duck."

If ugly is politically incorrect, my apologies. And say I'm sorry to the poor ducks also.

REPLY
2 replies
captboat | @captboat | Feb 12 4:27pm
In reply to @kamama94 "3 women go to heaven and when they get there, God tells them, "We have a..." + (show)
@kamama94

3 women go to heaven and when they get there, God tells them, "We have a lot of ducks in heaven. There is only one rule here: don't step on a duck."

Shortly thereafter one of the women accidentally steps on a duck and the next thing she knows she has been paired for all eternity with the ugliest man she ever saw.

Not long after that, the 2nd woman accidentally stepped on a duck and suddenly found herself partnered for eternity with the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

The 3rd woman was now extremely careful and avoided stepping on a duck for a very long time. With no warning she found herself next to the handsomest man she had ever seen. She asked him, "How did I get so lucky?"

The man replied, "I stepped on a duck."

If ugly is politically incorrect, my apologies. And say I'm sorry to the poor ducks also.

Jump to this post

Another “winner”!
I hope you are feeling as good as your jokes make us feel.
God bless you.

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