How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 28 7:37am

In reply to @geekygirl9 "This one's from a T-shirt I got for Christmas: Kid: Dad, what are clouds made of?..." + (show)

My kid asked me what clouds are made of and I told her.

But, I don't think she took me cirrus-ly.

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 28 7:45am

In reply to @geekygirl9 "I was happy working for peanuts until I found out I had an allergy." + (show)

Sorry to hear about your allergic condition.

But, you may not want to quit your job, just yet.

You don't want to make a rash decision.

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 28 8:17am

I've been thinking about applying for a position as a braille transcriber .....

But, I'm not sure I'm ready for such a high-profile job.

kamama94 | @kamama94 | Jan 29 10:33am

5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now they're tenants.

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 29 2:00pm

Medical researchers are developing a risky new procedure for transplanting retinal tissue from roosters to people suffering from various ocular maladies.

Regarding the new technology's chances for success, some experts are in the researchers' corner ........

but others think they're just being cockeyed optimists.

kamama94 | @kamama94 | Jan 30 4:26am

More jokes, please.

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 30 10:23am

My wife suggested that I issue an apology for my recent spate of blonde jokes, and I initially resisted.
Years of military service and a civilian career in a virtually all-male environment have left me pretty much permanently rough around the edges (she calls me "unfrozen caveman engineer" when I'm being especially tone deaf).
Upon further consideration, I am capitulating to the PC police and wish to make amends/soothe any feathers that I've ruffled.
So, here goes:

MY BAD!!

Ain't gonna do it no more!

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 30 11:22am

In reply to @kamama94 "More jokes, please." + (show)

A bonnie lass went a' traipsing upon the moor, slipped into a bog and had a rather peaty-ful outcome.

itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 30 11:59am

In reply to @kamama94 "More jokes, please." + (show)

Ahab, fearing the unruly condition of the shore's surf, ordered Ishmael to affix the Pequod to the seafloor amid-harbor.

Ishmael, no fan of what can be a tricky chore in rough seas, grudgingly attempted to set anchor but had precious little success.

Irked, he reported his trouble to the skipper, saying with no small amount of sarcasm that he had failed to accomplish the "lightest" task aboard.

Ahab ordered the job done with no further guff.

A second attempt yielded the same result accompanied by a terse and even more tense exchange between positions.

Ahab, the sternest of task masters, barked the order Ishmael knew was coming and, with mounting frustration, he resigned himself to finishing the job.

On the third try, the anchor finally made loose purchase with an acceptable drift radius, and he reported back to the captain, "Ahoy, Cappy, we're at rest, moor or less."

Ahab, unsatisfied with his mate's performance and perceived passive-aggressive attitude, ordered, in lieu of shore leave, that he be remanded to ship's custody and undergo an anchor management course.