Maybe this needs to be posted elsewhere or maybe another title like “ safe-word “ or living alone and rethinking it, I’m only sure of a few things: 1 pain that goes off the chart 2 I made 5 phone calls looking to talk or for help and for my doctor to call me and my therapist to call me and at the end of the day after taking way too many drugs trying to manage my pain being too hot then too cold and unable to find a comfortable way to be, yes, I wish someone was here with me just to know that there was another person in the house if things got worse…. what about a safe word as I’ve heard it call for roll players when one player starts going too far, or on Chicago PD when they use someone to catch someone else, they tell the person if things get bad use this word.
When you call a friend or a doctor or anyone that you NEED TO TALK WITH do we need to have safe words or real words or some way to let others know I just don’t want to chit chat, I’m in trouble.
I’m so judgemental because I’m such a jerk and I go when people ask, I drop everything and fly across the country to help a friend and once things got really really bad unexpectedly and both Mom and Dad decided to go out of country and leave me with 3 kids of varying ages who I had to do homework with, take to school and swim practice and meets, I did so much that there is no job disciplining to cover all that I did. But these were my FRIENDS! and they needed me and asked ME to take care of the kids who I grew up with and I loved them as they loved me so I agreed to care for them a month then something unknown became revealed and suddenly the circumstances changed and let me toot my own horn: there wasn’t a person alive better than me to adjust. But when the shoe is on the other foot all I hear is excuses.
One out of five called me back. Then as it was getting dark out I discovered that my toilet was broken and was running for hours it almost ran my well dry which means the water went into the septic tank there is not plumber or anyone else who could fix better than me what needed to be done so I turned off the toilet stripped naked and rubbed icy hot everywhere safe because the pain as mentioned was off the charts and I knew I needed to crawl through a small door to get under the house to check what I could check but mainly to turn off the well pump which I did until it gets light out.
I’m really upset Do we need a word or two to get a person to understand that a call is all that is needed for a person who lives alone. The one friend close enough to come here and help texted me that he was still tied up with a computer problem that I helped him with last week as I dropped everything to look for a keyboard that most people have thrown out. After not eating all day I told him I just walked in and the key was still in the door and I hadn’t eaten all day but he found a way to stress how important it was for him so I took a few swings of chicken broth and pulled out a huge piece of furniture which may be why my back is so bad crawled under a table pulled out draws just to get the keyboard out. He got here so fast I thought he might have been parked outside, I still didn’t finish the soup
I need a shot and a few words of reason, the pain is still radiating and I’m not sure if I have water
I’m not thinking well and oh BTW
I HATE THE ER
I Have a 3 pm massage scheduled so maybe I can handle it until then