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why is this happening to me
I’m a 31-year-old male (180 cm, 110 kg) with anxiety, panic disorder, and derealization since a sudden panic attack on March 11, 2024. Medical tests were normal. I tried cannabis once (2 months prior), had a panic reaction, and never used it again. Diagnosed with depression and GAD. Treated with citalopram (up to 40 mg, partial response), then bupropion (up to 300 mg). Panic attacks stopped after 6 months, but anxiety, insomnia, depersonalization, and intrusive suicidal thoughts remained. Citalopram was stopped; started sertraline 50 mg in Dec, increased to 150 mg in March. Bupropion was later stopped. After 4 months on sertraline 150 mg, I still have intrusive suicidal thoughts, derealization, identity confusion, and emotional detachment. I live in social isolation, gained 25 kg, and take supplements (Omega-3, magnesium, D, K2, B12, probiotics). I do CBT exercises, but relapses continue.
Should I stay on sertraline? Do I need augmentation or a med change?
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So sorry to hear this is happening to you, sounds like a really frightening experience... I do understand having been diagnosed many years ago with Major Depressive Disorder and GAD. I don't think anyone has an answer as to why... really it's like why does anyone get any number of illnesses. I KNOW that does not make your experience any easier (or mine for that matter). Mental illness symptoms reallly are an awful thing to deal/cope with. It is of course normal to ask why me... I think psychiatric symptoms are that much more difficult to deal with because (esp. in the beginning) they can be so incapacitating--your 'normal' life is blown away so to speak. I can tell you that typically once you are prescribed the 'right' medications for you, and better learn how to handle the symptoms that things do improve and you can likely get back your life again--but as you already know, getting to that point the road is a difficult one. Sp I am here if you want to talk about things.... My prayers are with you @ Catelyn ( I'm new here so I hope this comes to you OK? Take care
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2 ReactionsThank you so much @Catelyn . I'm new here too. Thank you for your kind words. I know it's hard, but bad thoughts are so annoying.
Hi,
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this and at the young age of 31! How awful for you! That must be so difficult, as you have stated, to handle. Have you looked up the side effects of all the medications and supplements that you are taking or have taken in the past? Side effects could be some of your problems. My husband had lung cancer and I always looked up the side effects of his medications and supplements. I found several that caused him discomfort. When we mentioned this to the doctor, he took my husband off that medication. Don't stop taking any prescribed medication without talking to your doctor because sometimes just stopping a medication can cause problems if you don't do it a certain way. It depends on the medication.
The questions you have about staying on a certain medication or a new treatment should only be discussed with your doctor. He'll know exactly what your body needs. That's what he trained for.
I wouldn't worry about being in social isolation. You aren't feeling good so you don't want to be social. Once you get through this and you will. You are only 31. You will become socially active again once you are feeling well again.
It's good that you are exercising. What are CBT exercises? Also be sure and eat healthy, regular meals and try and get a good night's sleep. These things are so important to feeling good.
The other thing that would help you is prayer. Just ask God for help. Talk to him like he's your best friend and he is! He made you and he can fix you. I will say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML
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1 ReactionCBT = Cognitive Behavior Therapy
Helps you to view anxiety in a different way to assist in coping. I've suffered with agoraphobia for over 40 yrs. I take .25 Xanax as needed. I don't want to be medicated. Some days are better than others. I'm new to this group too. thank you!
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2 ReactionsThank you for your kind words @pml . Unfortunately, I do not know the reason for these thoughts. I have stopped all nutritional supplements and vitamins, perhaps because of them, but I am not sure of that. Before using antidepressants, I never thought about suicide, despair, or anxiety, but after using them, all these problems happened.
But behavioral therapy (CBT) is just an exchange of messages with the therapist. I have not benefited yet. We are in the middle of behavioral therapy. Thank you very much for your words and comment. I hope you recover.
@pollywalnut
LOL I've struggled with it for over 40 yrs. I doubt I'll ever be completely recovered. As long as I can come and go without terror I'm happy. I found the CBT has helped me. I'm using a self help book. One chapter a day. I feel I've learned a bit to give me food for thought when I'm experiencing panic. Thank you for your response.
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1 ReactionMaybe one day you will recover. I wish that with all my heart. Is reading books helpful and can you suggest a suitable book?
The book I'm reading is a workbook, so you have exercises after each chapter. You answer some questions to determine which chapters may help you the most. I'm highlighting passages that are the most meaningful to me. This is the only self help book I've ever tried. It is:
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety (2nd edition)by William J Knaus. I purchased it thru Amazon for under US $14
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1 ReactionThank you, unfortunately my English is not very good. 🥹