Why don’t anxiety meds work for me?

To @rick98

Feeling like a failure because I took an Ativan today.

Claudia

Yes Claudia,
I understand and I easily work myself into a state of unbearable anxiety and panic. I agree to stay out of ERs if possible because they will probably put you in a worse position. I try to find the most comfortable places in my apartment daily because of what I am experiencing with severe depression, anxiety and insomnia. I will eat something nutritious for nutrients the body needs everyday; I try to stay hydrated with juice cut with water. I try to keep sugar to a very minimum. I find different relaxation podcasts, sleep frequency music even if I don't sleep at all and try daily minute by minute to keep myself from getting panicky, easier said than done. I hope you can get through each day the best you can and make it to the mental health center on Monday to see if they can help you some way.
Always in my prayers🙏

Needing medicine to soothe our nervous system does not mean anyone is a failure. I can understand what you feel because I too feel like a complete failure but I know this is not true so I counter my mind and feelings constantly struggling internally telling myself I am not a failure. Benzodiazepines are medications that now are understood to be taken in specific doses at specific times and very short term. Unfortunately, I didn't understand this years ago and had many prescriptions of Clonezepam take 1mg to 3mg as needed which is wide open to interpretation; it was misprescribed and now I am messed up from it. Had I known I would never have taken it. The long-term negative effects especially when trying to taper off or get off them create unimaginable problems long term for countless people and I suffer from the terror of getting cut off at some point in the future. In the meantime my body is dependent on Clonezepam 1 mg split exactly 12 hours apart same time daily and I hope to start slowly tapering. Unfortunately, I have developed a tolerance to the medication and I don't the feel the beneficial effects like helping me sleep as it once always did. And it can in time actually bring on more anxiety, depression and insomnia which I wonder if that's part of what is happening to me.

To @rick98
Rick, I have read many stories of how difficult the taper is to get off Ativan (using the Ashton water method) and after having been a victim of the detox center’s scam that it would take 7 days and I would be clean without any discomfort, you can understand why I was so disappointed in myself for taking the Ativan this morning. I fear I am going to put myself right back where I was. I was never told by my family practitioner who prescribed massive doses of both Ativan and Xanax to me that either of these two substances were addictive. I had never even heard the word benzodiazepine before. I was very naive. I try to put in place your suggestions and those of others on this site who have our best interests in heart. I always enjoy hearing from you. Wishing you well.
Claudia

To @rick98
We are all victims here. If I had been educated on these meds, maybe I would have taken them anyway as I was desperate for help. There was none to be found. On one visit to the ER, I was ridiculed by a doctor who called me a drug addict and told me to leave. Aren’t doctors supposed to be compassionate? Life only gets more difficult for those who are aging and have illnesses — whether physical, mental or both. I get very down because I want to be able to see my sister who has terminal cancer but I am in too fragile a state to get on a plane for a 5 hour flight. I suppose I’ll never get to see her again or even get to meet her 3 grandchildren whom she adores.
Claudia

My psychiatrist is the same age as me (72), and he has no intentions of retiring anytime soon. However, I live in dread of the day when he does. I try to get off Xanax, but it's really hard, especially in these times of High Anxiety (think "a high wire act without a net"). Also, it's very hard to cut the pills in halves and quarters. I'm on 1mg 3x daily. My anxiety and stress drive up my BP, although with my own private version of a few minutes' rest, focused-breathing meditation, reading distraction, and looking at the still-blooming Valentine's Day flowers my sister sent me (it's March 1, BTW), I manage to drop it down to normal numbers. I have the Omron Silver BP meter, which has a "preformed" cuff that's a struggle to put on (I try to calm down after putting it on--that struggle doesn't help BP) but that isn't nearly as much of a struggle as the standard type of BP cuff (Omron Platinum and Omron Gold have that cuff). Well, too much about BP here in my reply! Sorry if none of this applies... I empathize tremendously with anyone trying to get off benzos or other anxiolytics. It's depressingly difficult. Just thinking about the increase in anxiety is enough to make me postpone getting off Xanax. But my doctor IS eventually going to retire, and it will be very hard to find someone else who has his perspective on medications. Heck, it's hard enough finding a psychiatrist accepting new patients. As an "added bonus," I can't afford therapy...

I completely agree and have the same difficulty. It's really hard trying to cope each day with the symptoms. If I could go back of course with what I know now I would never have taken the Benzodiazepines but it's too late for me and many others. I've been using Clonezepam incorrectly for many years and it is rendering me in a state of constant insomnia. I split 1mg in .5mg and take it exactly at the same time 12 hours apart 10am and 10pm. I don't feel it does much other than keep me from losing my mind in-between doses. It's quite sad. I've always been very active and interested in so many things but I got hit with a severe depression with anxiety and progressive insomnia since last December. I probably already mentioned this to you. I repeat myself often sorry. My mental functions are not good in this condition. I find it extremely difficult to go and do anything so I generally get up late get something to eat and go back and sit in my bed watching podcasts that distract my mind. I do my daily hygiene. I just feel subdued and in the grips of this condition which I feel is related to the long-term benzodiazepine use in my case and I agree the pharmaceutical industry, the government FDA and medical science and medical schools training doctors, etc. have betrayed us whether knowingly or not and have ruined the lives of countless people like us who suffer terribly. Always praying 🙏

@rick98
I just added up all the prescriptions that I received since September and ending in late December — 225 Ativan and 70 Xanax — and prescribed by 2 primary care physicians. How is this even possible? Dosages for the Ativan ranged from .5 to 2 mg. (told to split the 2 mg). How am I still alive? There is no way that theDetox center really did anything for me and that’s why I am suffering so badly now. Last night was horrible with “bad” thoughts running through my brain.
Claudia

@rick98
I am having a bad day. Wish I would hear from someone.

To @ellerchim
I think I have protracted withdrawal syndrome. I feel terrible.