why do i feel like a let down

Yeah, I guess I'm a disappointment, doing everything I can
I don't wanna make you disappointed, it's annoying
I just wanna make you feel like everything I ever did
Was never tryna make an issue for you
But I guess the more you thought about everything
You were never even wrong in the first place, right?
Yeah, I'ma just ignore you, walking towards you
With my head down, lookin' at the ground, I'm embarrassed for you
Paranoia, what did I do wrong this time? That's parents for you
Very loyal? Shoulda had my back but you put a knife in it
My hands are full, what else should I carry for you?
I cared for you, but
Feels like we're on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I'm proud
I'm sorry that I let you down
Le-le-let you down
All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I'm sorry that I let you down
Le-le-let you down
Yeah, you don't wanna make this work
You just wanna make this worse
Want me to listen to you
But you don't ever hear my words
You don't wanna know my hurt, yet
Let me guess, you want an apology, probably
How can we keep going at a rate like this?
We can't, so I guess I'ma have to leave
Please don't come after me
I just wanna be alone right now, I don't really wanna think at all
Go ahead, just drink it off
Both know you're gonna call tomorrow like nothing's wrong
Ain't that what you always do?
Let you down-NF