Where do you want to grow old?

@arctic22 he is not too busy for me. He has mental health issues that cause him anxiety and other problems.

Ok I understand ... that is another curve ball life sometimes throws us ..

There are support groups that meet on line. I'm sure there are social groups as well. Our county senior services org provides transportation to the senior center as well. Things to look into in your location

I've been terribly unhappy in a 10 year marriage. We're just room-mates but I'm totally disabled and can't live alone with so many physical and mental health conditions. I'm 64. He's healthy and I have no kids. Siblings don't care. I go to a senior center but lots of strange people and no connections there. I don't drive so he's my transportation. He's 85. Won't even hold my hand! Not sick enough for nursing home. I have no idea what to do. Need another foot surgery but refuse for now. Nothing in the future for me. Looking into pallative care. Maria.

I think I’d like to grow old in a 55+ community. Most of the ones I see have plenty of activities and I’d be surrounded by like-minded adults.

I live in a one story house with grab bars in the shower and other safety upgrades that I made over the years. I am however very lonely here and I have no children. I am considering moving into a CCRC for the social programs, the services like housekeeping, gym and most importantly, the medical supervision that they offer. These communities are expensive so, I am worried about making the right choice.

I’m 74 and broke my pelvis in two places several weeks ago. Several months ago I made a small deposit to hold my place in a nonprofit Zen/Quaker continuing care community that will be finished in 2027. Making that commitment gave me a great deal of peace about my future at the time.
I have younger sisters and brothers and their families nearby, but we were a chaotic group until the heat in central Texas this summer focused our attention on the immediate future. My pelvis fractures will heal. I will walk and even drive again, but I won’t entertain the idea of going off on my own now. Various commitments and retirement plans give us three years to find a place to move en mass that is more suited to climate change, a few horses, a bunch of dogs who don’t particularly like each other, and a community that would work for aging amateur cowgirls, artists and musicians and the grandchildren who have just started popping up. This is a tall order. I’m keeping a notebook. I’m also keeping that deposit in place knowing how dramatically life can change. When my beloved husband died in my arms on our little farm in southern Spain seven years ago, it took six months to realize that I couldn’t live there without him. The point for me now is to remain flexible enough physically, emotionally and financially that I can continue to role out of this wheelchair and into the future, whatever it holds. Is anyone else putting climate change in their mix? Minnesota is still on our list. New Mexico lasted a hot minute.

My wife and I moved in 2002 from Michigan to New Mexico into a one floor made-for-senior-living house. We loved the weather, people, church, and neighbors. However, in 2007 we had to come to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota for her breast cancer and stayed 9 months. We traveled back frequently for her check ups. Excellent care in Rochester that was not available in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Then in 2021 we arrived again in Rochester planning to stay 2 weeks for a kidney procedure for my wife. They found lung cancer so we stayed for 16 months until she passed on - September 6, 2022. I planned to continue life back in New Mexico.

During my annual physical at Mayo, in Rochester, they diagnosed me with Parkinson's. Thankfully, I discovered 125 Live here and I can't find similar programs for Parkinson's in New Mexico. Thus, I am just about ready to move into the Charter House here at Mayo. My primary care physician summed it up in a few words: "IF your conditions worsens, your medical care can easily increase." I believe that if my Parkinson's does not make me need assistive care, I have a relatively active place to live in a very nice community even tough it has rough winters.

My friends and neighbors in New Mexico have asked some tough questions about giving up what I love very much there for a need that may never develop. I seem to lean towards having terrific medical care if needed.

This is such a challenging question and I am continuing to wrestle with it. I have no answers, but a lot of questions. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago after 40 years of marriage and I do not have any relatives or children. I have two stepchildren but they are very involved in their own lives. I’m living in an over 55 community but everyone here is much older than me (I’m 72) and I do not feel connected although everyone is very nice. It’s a real dilemma. I had a lot of problems with knee replacement surgery so it’s been hard to get out and meet new people. It can be extremely lonely and I have no idea what my next step should be. I am most interested in following this discussion.

elimseoj your story is an indication of how awry "the best made schemes of mice and men" can go. So sorry to hear of all of your wife's and your sudden setbacks but it is good that you have choices and have time to decide whether to move now or later.