Where do you want to grow old?

People have many options for living arrangements as an older adult, like living in a house with a group of friends (think Golden Girls), going to a 55+ community, or staying in your own house.

What are your plans? Where do you want to grow old?
or
What choice did you make? What are the the pros and cons of your arrangement?

What advice do you have for others?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@babswel1

Perhaps continue to network here and find more ideas.
Volunteer for a charity with more in-home things. Start a limited one day at a time. Keep connected to family …despite limitations if you can. A small at home job? Look into health issues regarding foot and plan to address.
Marriages are work, but it helps to be civil and adult. There’s a lot out there. A church group?
Keep looking and be kind to yourself. You are worth it.

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Thank you! I did find a Church group today. Trying to find a compounded medication for foot pain? Ever hear of it? Maria.

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@fran102

This is such a challenging question and I am continuing to wrestle with it. I have no answers, but a lot of questions. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago after 40 years of marriage and I do not have any relatives or children. I have two stepchildren but they are very involved in their own lives. I’m living in an over 55 community but everyone here is much older than me (I’m 72) and I do not feel connected although everyone is very nice. It’s a real dilemma. I had a lot of problems with knee replacement surgery so it’s been hard to get out and meet new people. It can be extremely lonely and I have no idea what my next step should be. I am most interested in following this discussion.

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These are the challenges that face single people. Health challenges contribute to not being able to reinvent your life as easily.

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@kim4

I live in a one story house with grab bars in the shower and other safety upgrades that I made over the years. I am however very lonely here and I have no children. I am considering moving into a CCRC for the social programs, the services like housekeeping, gym and most importantly, the medical supervision that they offer. These communities are expensive so, I am worried about making the right choice.

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What is a CCRC? Never heard of it. Thanks. Maria.

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I'm 82 and living alone on 22 acres in California near the coast. My husband died almost 4 years ago. I had breast cancer at 79 , developed peripheral neuropathy from the chemo and I can't drive.
My son comes out to see me a couple of days a week (this is his resort) and stays with me to fix things that need to be done.
It is so beautiful out here with the massive oak trees, meadows and mountains. I will stay here as long as I can. When the time comes, if it as all possible to still be on my own I will live in my daughter's basement in Portland Oregon.
My mother in law lived alone until she was 93. At that point she fell and broke her hip emptying the garbage.
She then lived with her daughter until she died at almost 101 with her mind mostly intact.

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@mariajean03

Thank you! I did find a Church group today. Trying to find a compounded medication for foot pain? Ever hear of it? Maria.

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I think the place where they sell compounded medicine could help you find the right meds. I believe there is a medicine of this type for ppl with diabetes. Any pharmacist could probably tell you. Best to consult an MD if you have any allergies etc.

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Thanks. I have a new young podiatrist so will ask my internist what he thinks. It's for edema caused by dislocated toes and planter tear!

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@dollyme

You bring up a very good point, we can still make changes in our life, our surroundings. I have friends who go to various doctors weekly, personally I do not have time for that, yes I am in good health, only take acid reflux meds, that is it.

Many seniors do whatever the doctor says, without question, for some it has become a way to fill their day and gives them something to talk about, not that I want to hear about it daily.

Your attitude is wonderful, keep moving forward and enjoying your life!

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Ahhh u get it! I am blessed but I do have medical concerns, but no worries anymore. Acceptance. I was one of the many who went from week-to-week appointment setting and seeing doctor(s) weekly. Enjoy!!!

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@raebaby

I'm 82 and living alone on 22 acres in California near the coast. My husband died almost 4 years ago. I had breast cancer at 79 , developed peripheral neuropathy from the chemo and I can't drive.
My son comes out to see me a couple of days a week (this is his resort) and stays with me to fix things that need to be done.
It is so beautiful out here with the massive oak trees, meadows and mountains. I will stay here as long as I can. When the time comes, if it as all possible to still be on my own I will live in my daughter's basement in Portland Oregon.
My mother in law lived alone until she was 93. At that point she fell and broke her hip emptying the garbage.
She then lived with her daughter until she died at almost 101 with her mind mostly intact.

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If you need a roommate, pls let me know hehe

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@mariajean03

What is a CCRC? Never heard of it. Thanks. Maria.

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Continuing Care Retirement Community

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@chucklesg

At 79 and single, where to live is a constant question. In the US? or in another country where the cost of living is significantly lower? Medicare is a leash, and keeps me here, but medical care in many other countries is almost as good as here. In some cases better, cheaper, more available. In my home of 12 years, most alone. but in a married neighborhood. Most of my assets are stuck in this house and the real estate market is not good. My health is pretty good, thanks to Mayo, and if I move to another country, it is OK as long as I can get to Phoenix in a day! But everything can change if I meet a lady who shares my activities, a zest for life, and curious adventuresome!

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When my husband was alive we bought a home in Lake Chapala Mexico, we were going to spend 6 months there and 6 months in Florida.

3 months after we bought it my husband was diagnosed with cancer, that ended that as the cancer care was not able to help him there and Medicare was needed.

We kept the house for 5 years hoping we could finally use, we could not, fortunately, the man we bought it from rented it from us.

Today the area is riddled with crime so I am glad I no longer have the home.

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