What’s a reasonable amount to do in a day?

Hi @moggy, Having hormone levels checked isn’t always necessary. But it’s easily done when in for a routine physical by having your doctor add it to the list of test for lab work.

I see you’re new to the forum so I’d like to offer my welcome. From your bio, you have some underlying health issues in common with a many of our members. Have you had an opportunity to check out some of the 75+ groups in Connect?
Here’s where you might link up with other members who have experience with RA.

There’s a group dedicated to PTSD
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/ptsd-1/

And a number of discussions in the Anxiety and depression group that you might find helpful. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/depression-anxiety/

May I ask what led you Connect? Were you looking for anything in particular? Is there anything I can help you with?

Love the meme:).
If someone comes to the door, I panic cue to the state of my house. I have frequently ignored people at the door that I'm not expecting. turns out it was a good way of setting boundaries with a very nosy neighbor :). I definitely have ADCD!
My daughter helps with things like grocery shopping, driving me to appointments, etc. She will also do some laundry, and take care of the trash. I get very frustrated when she lets things slide and I can't do it. She shovels in the winter. I still like yard work, but it's getting more difficult. I feel angry when she doesn't help out more, but feel useless when she does take care of things with so little effort. There's also a neighbor who has helped me many times with any mechanical issues that come up.
She's been able to be pretty social, but when the pandemic started, it barely affected me. I was one of the few not complaining about lockdown since I rarely go out:) I am really grateful that she is here and helps me.
I used to be the most organized person in my groups, and I really miss the ability to keep going. One of the things that occurred to me was that I let all of my old routines go when I became unable to work. Restarting new routines has been difficult as I always overestimate my abilities. When I push through, several days of pain and exhaustion follow. My brain feels rattled today, so I hope this isn't' too rambling.
I'm glad to have found this group, as I have been unable to secure any type of counseling. There's a huge list through my insurance company for virtual therapy, but I can't find anyone to help. Either they don't even bother to return my query or they are booked for months. The mental health field seems to be suffering form a huge shortage.

I cracked up with your comment about ignoring the front door if you’re not expecting anyone!! 🤣. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hoped people can’t see me making a shadow behind the peep hole! And now our front door has those side lights, darn it!! No hiding!
Years ago I was a perfectionist with trying to keep the house neat. So much stress from trying to be freaking Martha Stewart! It was tough with a child at home, working several days a week, tending my ailing mom and husband’s parents, being a school mom/committees, etc..
So, I started getting a little more kind to myself.
I changed my perspective:
Dust is now a protective covering. 🤣
Leave the vacuum in the foyer near the front door. If anyone comes, you can say, “Oh pardon the mess, I was just cleaning,”
If you have a dog, toss a ball under the bed. Dogs are great for gathering dust bunnies. Then have the dog shake outside.
Same way for cleaning the floors! Spill milk. Leaves a nice shine and the dogs and cats are happy.
A little Mrs Meyer’s lemon verbena cleaner in the sink with warm water makes the whole house smell good!

Ok, obviously I’m kidding but we really do have to shift our priorities sometimes. It’s difficult when we can’t do things for ourselves anymore and have to rely on others. Being creatures of habits and routines, it’s hard to let go!

You are fortunate to have your daughter be able to help out and I can sure feel the frustration when she maybe doesn’t get something done in a timely manner. Going through all my cancer hoopla the past few years, my husband took over most of my chores for a while. He did great but wow, what a challenge for me to not blurt out, “That’s not the way I do it!.” 😩 It was better to just keep my lips zipped and be grateful the deed was done at all. Oh and the weeds in the flower beds…oy. That was another thing that made me cringe! They weren’t on his radar! But he was happy to grab some of the bigger weeds if I’d point and say, “Pluck!” Now, I happily walk around the yard with my pokey weed stick and do it myself again. But being laid up was indeed a lesson in patience!

I am sorry to hear that therapy isn’t available to you right now but you know what? There’s always someone on Connect, ready to sit and ‘chew the fat’ around the kitchen table. Ugh, where did that expression come from”.
Anyway, I’m happy you’ve joined us!

You mentioned your brain feels rattled today. What is something you enjoy doing that relaxes you or brings you joy?

Hi Lori,
LOL about the vacuum at the door. I always said, Oh pardon the mess- Just in the middle or rearranging. After 11 years it doesn't really fly, but I don't get that many visitors. It's been nearly 20 years of changed abilities, and I still can't accept my limits. I hate the way I'm living. My son and grandsons are visiting in August, and I doubt it will be enough time to get things organized!
Recently I have begun to use my sewing machine again and cooking more meals. Those things either frustrate me more as I have to relearn abandoned skills, or bring me a sense of fulfillment. Watching the dog and cat's ever changing dynamic is usually entertaining. They have a love/ hate relationship, or I should say a tolerate / hate relationship. My beagle is a help with spills in the kitchen:) . I am looking forward to making all my Gami ( grandma) treats for my grandsons. I've always been a do it yourselfer, mainly out of necessity and cost effectiveness.

It’s great to hear you’re trying out some of your old favorites like cooking and sewing! I lived, ate and breathed sewing for years! And now I find I can’t sit very long at a time at my machine due to varicose veins. I had them surgically taken care of a few years ago and things were greatly improved. But years of sitting on a stool in a Dental office did permanent damage to my thigh veins. Sigh… so now I can only do those projects in short bursts. No full sized quilts anymore. But I’ve modified my art projects to fit my current state. ☺️

I hope you’re able to feel some moments of accomplishments. I think being able to have a creative or artistic outlet is so important to our overall wellbeing.

Aw, how fun to have your son and grandsons come to visit! Don’t go draining all of your energy trying to have everything perfect! They’re coming to see you, not your house! So have some cookies made and let them entertain YOU. ☺️ You know, I bet you can even give them little jobs around the house to help out! My mom used to do that! How old are your grand kids?

This morning I made scones for the first time, and they turned out great. I had to go sit for a few minutes to cut the butter in, and other times to relieve my back pain, but eventually finished. I took a very long nap and it was feeding time for my dog and cat who can tell time when I woke back up. I cook for the beagle, so there was a delay, but I think they've forgiven me. I even got the dishes caught up. For me, that's a lot, but I planned some outdoor work to do.
My veins are veryclose too. Had them done a decade or so ago, and they have found their way home. At least they're not as scary looking as they were...yet.
My grandsons are 8 and 21. I haven't met the younger boy, and the oldest I saw when he was 3. He is now attending university of Georgia (? not sure of name) and is a member of the National Honor Society.
I've been collecting items that may interest both boys. I was about to pitch some nonworking appliances, but think one or both might have fun taking them apart. there's old fashioned board games to play, crafty things, etc. Can't wait. There may not be a lot of time for those things, as my son wants to show them his roots. The State Fair will be here when they visit, but I may not be able to do all that walking, and I hate hate hate crowds. I live in Wisconsin, and the boys live in Florida and Georgia.
I am very excited, but have to keep my expectations in check. And the perfectionism. Achieving balance is even more difficult with all the physical and emotional challenges.
Were or are you a dental hygienist or assistant? Very hard on the wrists:). Also sorry to hear about the C word in your life. Are you OK now?

Mmm, I love scones and have a great recipe too! Apparently I have lost any ability to control myself around baked goods lately, so I don’t make them unless our kids come to visit. LOL Then it’s open season on cookies, cakes, pies, scones without guilt, until they leave. The door of opportunity closes again until the kids return. 😂 But there are always elastic waisted pants for those times I cave like a wet cardboard box and buy Peanut Cake at the grocery store. That is my downfall. Le Sigh…

I live in Wisconsin too, though I’m not a big fan of the State Fair anymore either. Too many people and I really can’t handle the heat. I get pretty whiney and lose my cherub-like demeanor when it’s hot and humid. But I can see where your son and grandkids would love a day at the fair!

It sounds like you’re finding some cool things for the boys to do and they may show you a few fun things too! That’s a long time without seeing them so wow, you’ll have a lot to talk about! But the boys, at their ages, will most likely have their eyes focused on their phones or tablets. 😉
It’s really a challenge when our kids live so far away and can’t get home as much as they’d like. Jobs, school, obligations all get in the way. But this will be such a lovely time for you.
Just remember to not get so caught up in all the prep work. Less is more…the 3 words of hosting. I learned that the hard way and always overdid! Now as long as there’s food and conversation, people pretty much take care of themselves. And now, of course with covid, we add masks and hand sanitizer. 😉

You asked about my job. I was a certified dental assistant for 33+ years and loved that job. But sitting all the time took a toll on my legs and you’re right, it’s also tough on the wrists! But I retired 18 years ago and was enjoying life. Then, 3 years ago (2019) the day after my 65th birthday I started having symptoms of an illness. 3 weeks later, I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. With loads of chemo and a bone marrow transplant, I am now cancer free and enjoying my second chance at life! Every day is a gift and I refuse to waste a moment. 😉
Save me a scone…I’ll be right over! 😅

Lori, I'm so glad to hear that you've recovered from your ordeal. It's bad enough to be ill, but to have that scariness to deal with on top is just about all anyone could handle. Congratz on being a survivor. Then again, I would imagine that most of us are survivors in one way or another.
I think that all the support from this group inspired me to get moving. Outside yesterday, after my nap of course, I tackled the back yard which was waiting for its first mow of the season. ( I was a happy participant in No Mow May.) First I pulled up the fence stakes along one side, then began mowing with my 3 in 1 Black and Decker. Basically a weed eater on a deck that can be taken out and used alone as a trimmer.
Most of the grass was knee high, and it was sort of like baking with an Easy Bake oven. The only reason I stopped is because it got dark out. I do not understand how I can keep going until I'm exhausted, but not feel it until the second I stop. Then there are tremors, excruciating back pain, and asthma has something to say as well. I try not to use NSAISDS, but at 3 in the morning I gave in. My massage pad and heat helped, but the pain was always there. This morning I don't feel too bad. I am secretly happy that we are expecting storms this afternoon so I don't have to go out again 🙂 Not happy about the upcoming heat wave though.
I'm interested in hearing how others accommodate activities. For example, I use a chair to complete chores, and take frequent short breaks. Finishing work takes at least twice as long as it used to, but it gets done.
One other thing I use to cope is ignoring it. I have found that dishes, yard work, laundry, etc. will keep. Sometimes, the most annoying thing gets done, like washing one window. Accepting limitations is the biggest challenge I face.

Lists do help! I write them up on my cell phone which I always have with me so I never forget my list.

Hi @flynnzie, are you feeling better today? I worry that you really over-did the work outside Sunday with all the mowing! That tall grass is a lot of work! We participated in the no-mow May, too and it took my husband a couple passes with first the blade high and then lowering it for another round. Some of the neighbors weren’t joining, making our yard look like a hayfield in comparison. But we made a lot of bees and butterflies happy.
Do you have any teens in the neighborhood looking for summer jobs?? Might be able to get someone to help you out for a little gas money.